


Soulmates in Mind

by chocolatemangoose



Category: IT, Reddie - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Fluff, M/M, Soulmate Bracelet AU, but that's ok, mainly just oblivious boys, oh and don't forget the flirting!!, there's a lot of homophobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-05-15 04:23:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 49,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14783531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocolatemangoose/pseuds/chocolatemangoose
Summary: When you fall in love with someone, a permanent bracelet appears on your wrist. Only the person you love can see that bracelet, therefore, it's invisible to everybody else.Things were going just fine until Richie Tozier got that damn bracelet.





	1. Chapter One

 

 

Richie had woken up to the ear-piercing beep at exactly 9:30 am, signaling for him to wake up and get out of bed. Richie had squinted into the light of his room, coming from the slits of the blinds, masking the window. Richie laid there for a second, considering if he should get another five minutes of sleep. The thought was pleasant, because it felt like it was 3:00 am to him right now. He decided that he better get up, because if he didn’t do it now, he never would. Richie groaned and flopped out of bed, stumbling towards his desk. He picked up the alarm clock and switched it off, setting it back down. Then the thought dawned on him.

 

_It’s Saturday. Why in God’s name did I set an alarm, on a Saturday?_

 

He pondered the thought for a minute, looking at his heavily cluttered desk. Richie picked up his glasses, analyzing them closely. The left leg was taped on towards the frame, after Steven Fratter had knocked him out two months ago. He was currently saving up for a new pair. The thought rattled his mind, and he was thinking for an answer. As soon as the clock’s digits turned to 9:31, Richie remembered. He happily opened his closet, pushing through his shirts before settling on a blue Hawaii shirt with a solid gray shirt for underneath. It seemed like all of the exhaustion he had before had melted instantly. How could he forget? Richie had planned to meet Stan and Eddie at a cafe, just to hang out for the morning.

 

Richie changed out of his pajamas to his newly picked out shirts. He debated whether or not to wear khakis, but then settled on a pair of black shorts. Richie looked through his shoes, picked up his vans, and smelled them. They didn’t stink, so that was a relief. He left the room, not bothering to make his bed or to even close the closet doors. Richie bust into the bathroom, throwing his shoes on the ground, and studied himself in the mirror. His curls were sticking up, so Richie decided to have some decency and pulled out a comb. He messed with that for a while before deciding that it was impossible. His curls refused to be tamed, flying outwards in different directions. His new plan was to brush his teeth, throw on his shoes, and go.

 

Richie grabbed his toothbrush and put toothpaste on it, rinsing it lightly before putting it in his mouth. He brushed for a while, when he caught glance in the mirror of something that wasn’t there before. He stopped moving, put his toothbrush down and looked. He didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. That is, until he brought his toothbrush back up to his mouth. He saw it. Richie put his toothbrush down again, with much more force.

 

_Could it be?_

 

He brought his arm close to his face, studying the object. He knew what it was, yes, but he had his doubts. It couldn’t be… could it? It wasn’t possible… was it?

 

_Have I had this, or is this what I think it is?_

 

Richie turned his wrist side to side, and then the overwhelming realization hit him. It had to be. Richie gave a big smile, and started to laugh a bit. He spit his toothpaste out and looked at it more. He couldn’t stop staring at it. He needed to get going, now! Richie could not wait to show the others his new accomplishment. He practically flung his toothbrush into the nearby cup, rinsed his mouth out, and grabbed his shoes. Richie made a mad dash for the stairs in pure excitement. Why was he so excited?

 

Richie Tozier had finally gotten his soul-bracelet, that’s why.

 

-

 

“Of course he’s late.” Stan scoffed, noting the time on his wristwatch. He folded his arms and leaned back in his chair, lifting the front two legs off the ground. “Next time, we’re doing this in the afternoon. He might still be asleep.”

 

“Don’t act so surprised,” Eddie answered, grabbing his latte from across the table. He took a long sip before putting it back down. “He’s always fucking late, and we both know that.”

 

“Well, he better get here soon,” Stan plopped his chair back onto the concrete. “Or I might leave. I’ve got places to be, believe it or not.”

 

“If you had places to be, you wouldn’t have come.” Eddie conceded, rolling his eyes. “Anyway, just be patient with him. You know he always ends up coming.”

 

“It seems like we’re always patient with trashmouth.” Stan mocked quietly, taking his cup off the table.

 

“Guys!” A familiar voice called from across the street. “Hey, guys!”

 

“I told you, didn’t I?” Eddie grinned.

 

Richie confidently marched over to the others, and stopped himself in front of the table. He flicked his wrist out in front of them. “Check it, losers.”

 

“What have you been doing? Why’s there dirt all over your arm?” Eddie asked, puzzled. “Have you been in the Barrens?”

 

“Probably been in a fight. Explains the hair,” Stan stood up, stepping closer to look at Richie’s arm. “Where have you been, Richie?”

 

“Trying to get over here, that’s where. The dirt’s from my truck, so no worries.” Richie shrugged silently, then lifted his wrist up more. “Why don’t you say something about the most obvious thing?”

 

“On the obvious what? What am I supposed to be looking at here?” Stan examined his arm carefully, checking for… whatever he was supposed to be checking for.

 

Richie gasped offendedly. “My new shit, obviously!”

 

Eddie sat there for a minute then gave Stan a look. Eddie’s was slightly confused. _What is he talking about? Clearly there’s nothing there, right?_

 

Stan shot one back at Eddie with panic in his eyes. _Well, this is it! Richie’s finally fucking gone over the edge!! We need to do something immediately!_

 

Richie caught the exchanged vibe between them and gave an impatient sigh. “My soul bracelet!” Richie beamed, and finally fell into a seat between Eddie and Stan. “Isn’t it lovely?”

 

“Dude!” Stan’s face lit up immediately, and a big grin danced on his face. He slapped Richie’s shoulder. “Congratulations!”

 

“Wait, you’re in love with someone?” Eddie marveled in surprise. Eddie didn’t think that Richie had the slightest idea on what love was. Let alone being in love with somebody. ...Not like Eddie knew, but still.

 

“So it seems, Eds.” Richie spotted his drink. “Hey, how sweet! You bought me a drink! Thank you, kind gentlemen.”

 

“We thought you were crazy for a minute! You kept telling us to look at your arm and I didn’t know what to think.” Stan gushed, still very thrilled for Richie.

 

“What do you mean? It’s right here,” Richie pointed to his left arm, slightly puzzled.

 

“Only you can see it.” Eddie pointed out. “Well...unless the person you love back shares feelings for you. Then they can see it, too.”

 

“But we can see Beverly’s, Ben’s and Mike’s.” Richie protested lightly, believing that was impossible. “Wait… but I can’t see yours, Stan. So how…”

 

“Beverly and Ben are an item. You can’t see the bracelet until both lovers confess love for each other. That’s when everybody can see it.” Stan explained, crossing his arms along his chest. “You can’t see mine, because my… lover doesn’t have his yet.”

 

Richie paused for a moment, trying to put the pieces together yet. “So… you guys are telling me that you can’t see it?”

 

“No, but you can tell us what it looks like,” Stan lead on, wanting to know more about it.

 

Richie peeked at his arm again, trying to not show his disappointment, and studied it for a good moment. “Well, it’s like one of those rubber bracelets, but it’s not. Like…” Richie paused, struggling to describe it. “It’s not made of rubber. Stronger material. It’s white and has one black dot in the center. It’s pretty neat, the whole lover situation,”

 

“Mike describes lovers uniquely.” Stan recalled, pondering the certain word. “He described them a certain way, but I don’t know the word…”

  
“Soulmate!” Eddie burst out, making Richie jump. Richie carefully grabbed his cup and took a quick sip.

 

“Yeah!” Stan approved, smiling as he nodded his head. He opened his mouth to say something, then shut it.

 

“What?” Richie inquired, catching this movement.

 

“I…” Stan hesitated, and cracked his knuckles. “Do you know who it is? Who you’re in love with?”

 

Richie - yes, Richie - was blushing! His face flushed into a light pink and he looked a little embarrassed. He took another sip of his drink, hoping that will cool him off, and set it back down. “I’m not totally sure.” He cleared his throat, and looked down at his legs.

 

Eddie stared at him for a minute, suspecting that something was up. The way that Richie had moved and looked around was off. Before making an assumption, he wanted to test the waters just to be sure. “You have no idea?”

  
“No,” Richie answered quickly, not keeping eye contact with him. “I don’t.”

 

Eddie had a sneaking suspicion that Richie was lying. He probably knew full well who it was, but didn’t want to admit it. It’s fine; Eddie can take that. He’s taken enough damage today already, so why not some more? That’s when he noticed Stan, giving Eddie a private look.

 

“He’s lying,” Stan mouthed silently, raising an eyebrow. Eddie lightly nodded in a response, and turned his attention back to the conversation.

 

“Well, just be happy, Richie. Me and Bill are the only ones without one.” Eddie concluded, folding his arms and leaning into his chair. “We’re forever alone.”

 

“Ah, narts!” Richie joked, playfully shoving Eddie. His previous, anxious look was completely gone. “Don’t think like that!”

 

“I know this doesn’t have to do with anything, but guys,” Stan started, a smile at the edge of his lips. “I think I saw a California condor in the park earlier!”

 

“I’m sorry, a what?” Richie questioned, thrown off for a second.

 

_Um, hello? Aren’t we going to discuss this life-changing discovery?_

 

“An extremely rare bird breed,” Stan started to explain, his voice getting quick with pace. “There are only twenty two known birds alive, and it was rumored that one had made its home in Maine! Researchers aren’t 100% sure, but they’re trying to locate it immediately.”

  
“Only twenty two?” Eddie asked, with shock. “I hate to break it to you, but that might of been something else.”

  
“I’m wondering the same thing.” Stan admitted. He ducked to the side of the table, retrieving his book bag that was lazily slung onto the ground. He pulled out a small but thick book, with the title reading Birds Galore! The Complete Bird Species Index. “They say that their wingspan is almost nine feet long, and they have red streaks on the feathers.”

 

He flipped to a page and showed it to Richie and Eddie. He pointed at the picture of the bird, flying in the air. “I’m no expert, but that looks a lot like an eagle,” Richie commented, studying the picture.

 

“Exactly my confusion.” Stan grumbled, shaking his head. “Imagine, though. If we can prove that the bird I saw WAS the California condor, we’d get paid lots of money. I just don’t know what to do.”

 

“Why don’t you go back?” Eddie suggested, with a slight shrug. “I don’t think you’ll be able to miss it.”

 

“It may be across Mexico by now.” Stan sighed, taking the book back. “Besides, I don’t want to go alone, but nobody can sit still long enough.”

 

“Ah, probably not. You should go back and watch for it.” Richie coaxed. “Get a million bucks for yourself.”

 

“Yeah.” A small smirk arose on Eddie’s face. “Or, you know, you could go with Bill.”  
“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Stan laughed uncomfortably. “Bill might get bored.” Stan kept his gaze down, avoiding eye contact with both of them.

  
“Take a chance, Stan the Man,” Richie teased, going along with Eddie.

 

“Ugh. Sometimes I hate you guys,” Stan shook his head, a small smile going on his lips.

 

“I bet he’ll get an identical bracelet to yours, Stan,” Eddie joked, giving him a small wink.

 

“Ugh, stop,” Stan groaned, burying his face into his hands. Through the small gaps between his fingers, Eddie could see that he was smiling. “He doesn’t like me like that!”

 

“Hey, so…” Richie began, trying to act casual. “How do you know all this stuff about the bracelets?”

 

“Do you not know the rules, Richie?” Eddie asked, a bit surprised. He figured that everybody at least knew the rules by now.

 

“No,” Richie answered flatly.

 

“My mother told me,” Stan added, lifting his head up.

 

“So did mine.” Eddie agreed, nodding. Richie felt awful.

 

Of course I wouldn’t know the rules. Mom barely notices that I exist.

 

“But we can fill you in,” Eddie gave Richie a reassuring smile. “Go ahead, Stan. You have your bracelet, so you might know more than me.”

  
“Let’s see,” Stan thought, tapping his chin. “Eddie already told you that only you can see it. Unless the feelings between you and your soulmate are mutual,”

  
“But how do you know? He-” Richie cleared his throat suddenly. “They could be wearing an ordinary bracelet. Or how do you know that the bracelet they’re wearing means that they love you? Not someone else,”

 

Eddie raised his eyebrows. _He?_

 

“You know how Mike and Sarah are lovers? They have the same, exact bracelet.” Stan explained, ignoring Richie’s pronoun choice. “So one day, if they’ve got feelings for you, you’ll see it on their wrist. If others claim they don’t see it, then you know what that means.”

 

“Will it go away?” Richie leaned forward, propping his head on his arm. “Like one day, will it just be gone? If I don’t love them anymore?”

 

“It’s extremely rare. Hell, it’s rare to get them at such a young age.” Stan took a sip of his drink, and glanced at his wrist briefly.

 

“Sixteen is not young,” Richie pointed out.

 

“But there’s something I want to specify. The difference between love and like.” Stan declared, ignoring Richie’s useless comment.

 

“Huh?” Richie questioned, bringing his head up a little.

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Eddie perked up, his mind full of interest. His mother hadn’t mentioned anything about this.

 

“Mom stressed this out to me. There’s a difference between liking someone and loving someone.” Stan paused, planning what to say. “Like for example, when you get a crush on somebody, it usually is just… a liking. But you have that bracelet now, and that means you love someone.”

 

“But what’s the difference?” Eddie asked.

 

“It’s… difficult to explain. My mother described it like this. You don’t realize that you love someone in the moment, but one day, and in one second, you’re feelings will change. You will learn what love really means.”

  
“What’s it feel like?” Eddie inquired, very interested in the topic. He was extremely curious, wanting to know all of the details and emotions. He wanted to be prepared. “You know, when you fall in love? Is it the same for everybody? Or different?”

 

Stan glanced at Richie timidly. “Maybe this isn’t the best place for such a deep conversation,”

 

“Don’t look at me. I didn’t know this would happen,” Richie declared, giving them both a finger gun.

 

“Wait, but I still have questions,” Eddie broke in, still focused on the subject.

 

“Yeah, me too,” Richie reminded, nudging Eddie.

 

“I’m not exactly an expert. I’ve only had mine for a month.” Stan picked up his now empty cup. “Besides, a cafe isn’t the place for a topic like this.”

 

“We tried, Eddie Spaghetti,” Richie grinned. “Tune in next week for the new, hot drama scoop.” Eddie shot him an annoyed look, then stared at Stan.

 

“Come on, Stan, please?”

 

Stan raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t know you were interested in this sort of thing,”

 

“I’m… I want to know more about it.” Eddie clarified, feeling his face heat up. “To be prepared, I guess.”

 

“We can talk more about this another time. After school on Monday?” Stan offered, folding his hands on the table.

 

“Why not tomorrow? Or today? Or now?” Richie announced, a bit lost. "What's so god damn important to delay a conversation like this?"

 

“Not tomorrow because my cousin has a bar mitzvah I have to go to. Not today, because at noon, Bill and I have to work on college applications, and not now, because it’s not right.”

 

“College applications? Already?” Eddie asked in awe.

 

“Dude, you’re literally a junior. All of us are,” Richie raised an eyebrow. “But it’s with Bill, so we won’t interfere. I'm not gonna be responsible for interrupting a blowjob." 

 

“It’s...It’s not that!" Stan hissed defensively. “My mother wants me to start planning this out. Bill offered to help me,”

 

“Right, okay,” Richie rolled his eyes. “Can I be your best man at the wedding?”

 

“Just you wait, Richie. Once we find out who your lover is, we’ll give you hell about it.” Stan rolled his eyes sarcastically, before a smirk appeared. “Won’t we, Eddie?”

 

“He has a point, Rich.”

 

“I already told you, I don’t know who it is,” Richie flew his hands up defensively, color flushing to his cheeks.

 

“I don’t buy it.” Stan shook his head.

 

“Whatever.” Richie groaned, taking another sip of his drink. “What time is it, Eds?"

 

“For the last time, don’t call me that.” Eddie complained, giving him a glare. He glanced down at his watch. “Wait, what? It’s already 10:36.”

 

“Oh, narts!” Richie gasped, pulling back his chair. “I need to get going,”

 

"If you say narts one more time..." Eddie sighed.

 

Richie raised an eyebrow. "Narts." Eddie rolled his eyes.

 

“You were late and now you’re the first to leave. Ladies and gentlemen, Richie Tozier, the man of class,” Stan mumbled sarcastically.

 

“I promised Ben that I’d help him redesign his room with Beverly.” He stood up, taking the empty cups from Stan and Eddie. “Now I’ll have to tell them.”

 

“Is it alright if I tell Bill?” Stan asks, standing up too.

 

“I don’t mind. I’m still telling him anyway,” Richie shrugged.

 

“Anyway,” Eddie got up out of his chair, smoothing out his shirt. “Congratulations, Richie!”

 

“Yeah, we’re happy for you!” Stan praised, grinning again.

 

“Thanks, guys.” Richie genuinely smiled, and brought his arms around both of them. “Even if you are jerks sometimes, we’re still friends,”

 

“Jerks?” Stan yelped in surprise. “We literally just told you everything you need to-”

 

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” Richie cracked, bringing his arms down. “And with that, I move onward!” He pointed down the street dramatically, taking a few steps ahead of them. He turned around swiftly, staring at them.

 

“Adios,” Stan replied, giving him a small wave.

 

“Goodbye, dear Stan the Man. The west will be tough without your critiques,” Richie joked in a western accent, quoting a recent movie. Stan rolled his eyes at the remark.

 

“Maybe we’ll see you later?” Eddie called, giving him a smile.

 

“Maybe, Eds. Maybe one day after this twisted war is over, we’ll reunite happily,” Richie added, in a stone cold voice. “It’ll be rough without both of you,”

  
“Stop with the movie quotes,” Stan ordered.

“Goodbye, dearest acquaintances.” Richie waved his arms frantically, getting a chuckle out of Stan and Eddie. He turned on his heel, walking towards the parking lot that was parallel to the shop. Richie stopped for a moment, wondering if driving to Ben’s was the right choice. He tossed the thought around for a long minute, then decided to just walk.

 

Why? Well, it’ll be nice to see the buildings on the way. It’d seem like a waste of time to drive to Ben’s. Plus, walking was good for you. Eddie preached that to him all the time. He remembered when Eddie said that to him. They were hanging out together at Jeffrey's Hill, a small little hill towards the end of town. They had been ranting about anything and everything that day, so of course, the topic of exercise had popped up. Eddie had mainly been talking about that, since that day, his mother had met with the gym teacher AGAIN. Richie had been told that full on sprinting was a great way to exercise, but wasn’t sure.

 

_“I don’t think so. You’ll waste all of your energy in less than a minute, and you won’t want to continue. Walking would be better.”_

 

_“Walking? Really?” Richie had asked, a little surprised._

 

_“Walking is a great way to exercise. It’s easy on the body. It may take a bit longer to get wherever you’re going, if you’re going anywhere at all,” Eddie explained. “But it gives you time to think. You’ll feel real good about yourself.”_

Richie mentally agreed to that. Richie turned to his left, walking onto the severely cracked concrete. The street sign read: King’s Street. He looked down, quickly. He definitely needed the time to think. All he could do this morning was hurry out of his house, ready to show the world his new accomplishment. He hadn’t known that nobody else could see it. He hadn’t known that the person you love can see it, only if they love you back. It was embarrassing, that his friends knew more than him about such an important topic like this. How many more rules were there? What needed to happen under the certain circumstances? He’d ask Beverly and Ben later. Yeah. That’s what he’ll do. They’ll definitely know.

 

Then an immediate realization sprung up in his mind. He asked himself some questions, wondering how this was possible. Nobody can see the bracelet, right? Correct. Only the person you love, who shares the feelings, can see it, right? Correct. Richie reflected on the newly collected information, and now there was only one more question that he had. He tried to ignore it, but there he was, alone with his thoughts. It burned through his head, because the question he had was a big one. A big question alright, that could possibly lead to a BIG problem.

 

_**Why couldn’t Eddie Kaspbrak see the bracelet?** _

…

 

 


	2. Chapter Two

 

Stan and Eddie’s interaction after Richie left was very brief. Stan had decided to go ahead to Bill’s house and Eddie didn’t mind. He knew how much Stan liked to talk to Bill. That feeling was familiar, which is why he was disappointed that Richie left so soon. Stan told him that he’d drop Eddie off at his house and then he would ride to Bill’s.

  
“Actually, you can go ahead, Stan,” Eddie notified as he was gathering his things. Stan glanced over at Eddie with a clueless look.

  
“I gave you a ride here,” Stan reminded him, slugging his bag over his shoulder.

  
“I know, but you can go ahead and see Bill. I can walk.” Eddie offered, giving a slight nod into his direction. Stan stood there quietly, considering if he should listen to Eddie or not.

 

“Would you mind?”

  
“Not at all. But while you’re there, could you ask if we’re all still going roller skating on Friday?”

  
“Sure, sure.” Stan eyebrows furrowed, as he was still doubtful of leaving Eddie behind. “Are you positive I can go?”

  
“You’re wasting time,” Eddie rolled his eyes sarcastically. “Yes, go ahead.”

  
“I’ll call you tonight and let you know. Thank you, Eddie.” Stan grinned, as Eddie grabbed his bag. “You’ve got your inhaler?”

  
“Yep. It’s full,” Eddie answered, patting his fanny pack.

  
“I guess I’ll roll to Bill’s.”

  
“Go, you dummy,” Eddie playfully shoved him, and Stan waved to him, calling a goodbye. Eddie watched him get to his gray Honda Civic, and he drive slowly down the street. Eddie sighed, adjusting his backpack straps, and went down Blockade Drive, which was parallel to King’s Street. His house wasn’t too far from here, but Stan was nice enough to offer a ride. He slowly strolled down the sidewalk, that obviously needed to be repaved.

  
Loads of things were on his mind. For one thing, Richie had gotten his soul-bracelet. He loves somebody.

 

_That’s nice, I guess. I wonder who it could be? Who would be with Richie Tozier for the rest of their life? Who knows. Who CARES? It’s not me._

 

Eddie sighed sadly. He liked Richie extremely, yes. He cherished whenever they spent time together, and Richie was a good friend to Eddie. They could talk about serious things if they wanted. But, Eddie wouldn’t use “love” to describe his feelings for Richie. It was close, yes, but it wasn’t it.

 

Right after they defeated It, the feelings appeared. Those lovely, amazingly horrible feelings possessed Eddie. Richie consumed his thoughts daily. In class, at lunch, with his friends, during his homework, or in bed. Eddie believed that the losers definitely had their suspicions. Bill stares at Eddie sometimes when he occasionally blushes or Stan might raise his eyebrows when he sees them talking. Even Ben gives them a certain glance that Eddie can’t understand. However, nothing could be proven, and that was that. He didn’t dare admit it to a single person. Not anyone. Not the losers’, not his mother, and certainly not Richie Tozier. He’s been a closeted gay for almost three or four years now, and he would remain that way.

 

_“Being homosexual is the biggest shame any person can bring on anybody,” His mother reported sharply at dinner one night._

 

_“What? Why?” Eddie asked, shocked with his mother’s attitude._

 

_“There are many reasons, Eddie. Just promise me that if you know a homosexual,” She grimaced as the word left her mouth. “You stay away from them. It catches as fast as the flu, and that’s the worst disease a person could have.” The tone of her voice was cold and harsh, and Eddie knew that she was not joking one bit._

 

It hurt him deeply, but there was nothing he could do. He began to frantically wonder if he WAS gay. He had never liked a girl. He doesn’t see what’s so attractive in them… But once Richie gave him his inhaler, a spare that he kept in his pocket, about four years ago, he knew he was gay. But if he brought up the subject, mom’d automatically turn harshly rude. So there was no way in HELL that he would admit that he was gay. He hasn’t mentioned to anybody, not even Stan, that he was gay, let alone like Richie. The coincidence was sort of funny, since he had almost dialed Stan two weeks ago to call and spit it out. That certain day was a rough one. Eddie hates keeping it all bottled up. Then he realized what would happen if his mother caught him. So he postponed his plan.

 

 _It’s not fair. I shouldn’t have to live like this._  

 

Even if he does ever come out, he’d have to keep it a secret. He’d have to LIE. Eddie thought that lying all your life is not a way to live, period. _And even if you do lie, it’ll eventually catch up to you. You’ll screw up one day and it all comes tumbling down, like one of those Jenga games._

 

But this plan that he was living was almost the same exact thing. There’s definitely been times when something had almost slipped out. Or when Eddie had referenced something remotely gay. It had just been the luck from God that he could play it off, since Eddie was pretty much shit at being smooth.

 

_What if they DO find out? What if you can’t play it off?_

 

His mind refocused to Richie. The answer was right in front of him, easily spelled out. Richie is not your soulmate. He loves somebody. Whatever. I don’t care! Good for him, great job, you get a gold star. Eddie was a bit peeved. In his opinion, that was the problem with these soul bracelets. It doesn’t specify who it is. Eddie doesn’t have one alright, but it seemed like everybody around him was getting one. He’s heard it all. How they’ve disappeared and reappeared, how they’re impossible to take off, how they’re identical, or how they see their lover wearing the same exact one. He's heard from the seniors about how dreadful those "trials" were, once you turned seventeen.

 

While he does feel bad about not having one, it was almost a blessing in disguise. He knows most of the rules. He knows how these things operate.

 

Unlike Richie. Richie hadn’t really been paying attention to the bracelet ordeal because he had one reason: He didn’t think he’d ever get one. Eddie had been told this one afternoon on the track, where they began to talk about it. Eddie had a different opinion but he didn’t say it to Richie. He didn’t much care for it in the beginning either, but once his mother sat him down and informed him all about it, it sparked an interest. It didn't seem like Richie had that interest until today. His parents were un-parentlike, to say the least. Eddie’s been to his house billions of times, and they’re either out of town, or pretty much non existent. A real shame. My mother bothers me sometimes, but at least she cares for me. Richie’s were… neglectful. So it wasn’t too much of a surprise that Richie didn’t know the rules. It was more hurtful.

 

_God, who **was** it? Who did he love? How the hell did he not know who he loved?_

 

Eddie stopped dead in his tracks.

 

_“But how do you know?”_

 

Eddie was starting to comprehend something. It was an unnoticed detail that had been thrown out in conversation.

 

_“He-- They could be wearing an ordinary bracelet,”_

 

It all started to click. Why Richie had refused to admit who he loved. Why Richie shied away from any hints that had to do with who he loved. Why Richie didn’t look him in the eye when he asked about who it was. Why he pretended like he didn’t even know who this person was.

 

_He._

 

Richie Tozier was in love with a guy. That had to be the reason. Everything else just makes perfect sense. Richie had never called himself “gay” or “bisexual” or anything. He had told the losers that he was straight, and that was that. Is he ashamed? No, probably not. Maybe it had to do with who it was. It might be somebody that we’re not on good terms with. Or here was a more common possibility: Richie knows how dangerous it is to be homosexual in Derry. Gays are publicly shamed. That was a fact and everyone fucking knew it.

 

Eddie felt that his prediction was correct, but he didn’t want to jump to a conclusion just yet. He was going to figure out why (or if, for that matter) Richie lied. He must of known who he loves, right? Who wouldn’t?

 

Eddie started to walk again. He looked up and saw that he had passed his house. When did that happen? Whatever, Richie had a lot of things to learn. Eddie has a lot to learn. He wants answers from Stan. He wants to be ready whenever he falls in love.

 

_How does it feel? How do you know it’s love? How do you act? What do you do?_

 

He wants them soon. Stan better fess up. Or Richie. He’s apparently fallen in love. Or Ben. Beverly has a soul bracelet, too. Mike has one, for sure. He could ask all of them except Bill. Eddie Kaspbrak wants to know for millions of reasons.

 

But the most important question remains: Will you be able to breathe or will you be too overwhelmed? Not too much of a stupid question in Eddie’s mind. He wants to know if he needs his inhaler. He wouldn't want to fucking pass out in front of his lover. Simple.

 

-

 

_“Let’s get all this junk off your wall, haystack.” Richie pointed to the missing posters cluttered on the left side of the room, next to the gigantic map of Derry in the center. “Impressive yet strange.”_

 

_“The one flaw in redesigning my room,” Ben sighed sadly. “Getting rid of my research.”_

 

_“Getting rid of part of the nightmare, Ben.” Bev smiled lightly. “Just doing the right thing.”_

 

Richie did agree that the room looked pretty a-okay when they were done. Ben now had a bigger desk to draw and work on, with a huge bookshelf towering over it. They had gotten rid of those god forsaken posters, except one. Ben couldn’t get himself to throw away Georgie’s. He said that it felt disrespectful to Bill. So he slipped it into his History of Derry scrapbook. He had gotten a bunch of new posters to replace them though. Haystack had a kick for music. A good taste. Metallica, AC/DC, Simple Minds, and New Kids on the Block.

 

_Ol’ Haystack loves that one._

 

He said he has ever since seventh grade. Nice one. When Ben had closed his door, Richie saw a poster of it on the back of the door. Richie burst with approval and excitement, demanding why it wasn’t out on the wall for the world to see. Ben laughed his ass off and Bev nudged him, giving a smirk. At least Richie has more of an idea to put on Ben’s mixtape.

 

Richie had also broke the news to both of them about his bracelet. Ben praised him, and pretended to give him a “You’ve finally become a man,” speech. He had gotten a good ol’ pat on the back. Beverly was ecstatic, congratulating him and hugging him like crazy. They had both plead to tell who it was-- who he loved. Richie stuck to his “I have no idea” story, but there was a problem with that. Ben was intelligent and Beverly had the right mind.

 

_“Richie, I really hate to say this, but I do not believe you.” Ben smirked as he rose an eyebrow, crossing his arms along his chest. “I just think you’re embarrassed.”_

 

Richie just about fainted when he heard that. He expected that much from Beverly, definitely, but **NOT** from little angel Ben.

 

_“No! I’m not lying. I don’t know,” Richie answered awkwardly, stretching his arms high above his head._

 

He felt Beverly’s gaze burn into him, and he knew full well that he was going to be interrogated, like a criminal suspected of murder. Beverly could drag it out of him alone, but Ben was on her side too. He _KNOWS_ his stuff. He usually didn’t get involved, yes, but when he did, it was on.

 

But he would **not** tell. His guard was 125% up.

 

Richie left Ben’s house around five thirty. They had hung out for hours, joking about whatever came to their mind, decorating the room (duh), playing video games, and having serious discussions. He hadn’t planned on being there that long, but it happened.

 

Richie was impressed with himself. They didn’t get it out of him. They tried like hell, yes they did, but they gave up thirty minutes later. Beverly promised that she’d find out who it is soon enough, and she definitely had her suspicions. Ben chuckled at that comment, which freaked him out. But what were they going to do? Read his mind? No, they weren’t. He wasn’t going to admit that he loved Eddie, period. But what he would admit is how it’s getting hard to not tell. He wants too, so incredibly badly, but he knows that he might fuck this up.

 

The situation had run through his head many times by now. He’d tell the losers, and they would promise to keep it a secret. Then one of them, most likely himself, might make a joke referencing it and Eddie would pick up on it. Eddie doesn’t let things go, so he would demand what it meant. Richie would finally have to admit what it meant, and Eddie would be startled. It would change their friendship, and Richie did not want that one bit.

 

_Besides, Eddie wouldn’t love me… let alone be gay._

 

Another secret he’d been hiding. Being gay.

 

But he couldn’t keep that in much longer. He had planned to tell everyone next Friday at school. Then this whole “bracelet soulmate” thing happened, so that had thrown him off schedule. He was scared out of his mind. Would it change the losers’ opinion of him? He hoped not. He hoped everything will just be the same, except now he can whisper to Bev when an attractive guy walks by. That’s all he wanted.

 

He had opened the door to his old house, aging by the day. His mother and father weren’t home for the week. They had left early that morning before Richie woke up. Something about “family problems” but Richie probably figured they had gone on a vacation. His father said that they would be back two weeks from now. Not that it mattered. It was just about the same if they were home.

 

Richie flopped onto the nearby couch, propping his legs up on the arm. He took in a deep sigh. The stress will be gone soon. I will be fine. He closed his eyes for just a second, and then all of a sudden, the sharp and deafening sound of the telephone made him jump. He cursed under his breath before sitting up and snatching the phone off the hook. “Hello?”

 

“Hey Richie. I assume you’re done with Ben’s room?” Eddie’s voice filled his ear, calm and even. Richie grinned to himself for a minute.

 

_He called me._

 

“Yeah, I got done about an hour ago. I just walked around for a while.” Richie admitted. “I didn’t think I’d be home by six thirty though. But it was worth it. Derry is amazing sometimes. But anyway, what can I do for you, Eds?”

 

“Stan called me a little while ago. He said that the plans for Friday were still set. You’re still going, right?” Eddie inquired, a bit of hope glinting through his voice.

 

“Yeah, Eddie Spaghetti, I sure am. Do you know what time we’re going? And what we’re doing about rides?” Richie asked, and he leaned on the arm of the sofa. I need to make this last. He doesn’t usually call.

 

“Stan didn’t say. Guess we’ll have to find out Monday.” Richie heard the shrug in Eddie’s voice. “So how’ve you been?”

  
“I’m on cloud nine, Eds.” Richie smiled, genuinely happy. “I can’t believe that I have a soulmate. I sorta thought I’d be alone.”

 

“About that…” Eddie began, then paused. There was nothing but silence on the other end. Richie felt a bit puzzled.

 

“What is it?”

  
“I… Who… I don’t know what to ask.” Eddie cautioned, his voice sounding a bit shaky. “Well, I do, but… They’re personal questions.”

  
Personal questions? “About the bracelet?” Richie challenged gently. He did notice how many questions Eddie was asking earlier to Stan. Maybe he wanted advice. Answers?

“Yeah. Look, I don’t want to bombard you with... whatever I want to ask...” Eddie trailed off, and he took in a big sigh. “I’m… I’m just curious about the whole situation.”

  
“I don’t mind. Just don’t expect me to be an expert on this whole thing. Hell, I have questions too.” Richie admitted quietly.

 

“I… I need more time to think about it, I guess. I know what to ask but I need to figure out how to… say it.” Eddie hesitated. “But I do have one I want you to answer.”

 

“Alright. Shoot,” Richie instructed, sitting on the arm of the couch. 

 

Eddie stayed silent for a minute. He kept starting his sentence before going quiet, as if he stopped for thought. Richie was patient, and waited for Eddie to ask what he needed. Finally, Eddie practically spat out his question. “Do you know who your soulmate is?”

  
Richie felt his heart practically explode. _Shit, this isn’t what he wanted after all. Abort, abort_ , _abort!_ He straightened up and cleared his throat. “No. I told you I didn’t,” Richie repeated quickly, looking down at his legs.

 

“I don’t believe you. Neither did Stan.” Eddie asserted, sounding a bit annoyed. “You don’t have to tell me who it is. I just want to know if you do know.”

  
“Why? What’s the point?”

 

“I just want to know if you know.”

 

“Well, I’m not ready to say who it is yet, so give me a break.” Richie ended, with a sigh.

 

“So you DO know,” Eddie pointed out, a bit of relief in his voice. Richie jumped. “I’m glad you do. If you didn’t, that would be horrible.”

 

 _Rookie mistake, Richie. Next time, learn how to lie properly._ “Fine, fine. I do know. But I’m not saying who it is, alright? Not yet.”

 

“I didn’t ask about that, Rich.” Eddie paused for a moment. “Why did you say that you didn’t know?”

 

“I was afraid it would slip out.” Richie answered shortly. “There are more consequences this time if it gets out.” He hated his serious tone, but it was the only way to prove his reasoning.

 

“But won’t we find out eventually? Why are you so afraid?” Eddie asked, starting to get a little concerned. “Is it somebody that we’re… somebody who isn’t... good?”

 

If only he knew. He sounded so concerned and innocent, but he doesn’t know that it’s him. He wouldn't know for a long time. Or ever. “Eddie, it’s not like that. They’re a great person.” Richie paused, trying to gather his thoughts. “I just think that it’s…” He trailed off and sighed.

 

“We don’t have to talk about this if you’re not comfortable.” Eddie confided softly. “I’m sorry. I just got a little curious. These bracelets are stressing me out and I don’t even have one.”

 

“Don’t be sorry, Eds.” Richie coaxed, leaning deeper into the couch. “Just trust me. This whole thing will fall into place, and things will click together. You’ll figure it out. You’ve probably already figured it out.” Richie chuckled lightly.

 

“I don’t understand.” Eddie sniffed, a bit upset with how this was going. “Why does this have to be so secretive? When will I learn what’s up with you?”

  
“Next Friday.”

 

“Wait, what?”

 

“I said next Friday. I’ve been wanting to say something for a while, but I want to tell everyone at the same time.” Richie informed quietly. “Is that alright?”

 

“Is it something bad? Are you alright? You’re not moving, are you? Did something happen with your father?” Eddie questioned frantically, his nerves getting tense. “Please tell me you’re okay,"

 

“Eddie, I’m fine. I promise you that I’m alright. If anything, it’s a good thing.” Richie started talking at a normal volume again. He brought himself forward, sitting up straight. “Don’t worry yourself out.”

 

“Impossible.” Eddie grumbled. “Can you not tell me anything about it?”

 

“Well, I mean, I can. I knew I would have to say it one day, and Friday just so happens to be it.” Richie paused. “I’d tell you right now, believe me, but I want to say it in front of the others, too.”

 

“Why do I have to wait so long?”

 

“It’s going to be a busy week, Eds.”

 

“I can’t argue with that, I guess.” Eddie sighed sadly.

 

“I’ll tell you now. Pennywise is my soulmate. We’re running off together at dawn on Tuesday. I’m sorry to disown you, Eds,” Richie pretended to cry and he dramatically threw himself onto the couch.

 

“Shut up, Richie.” Eddie cracked, a grin appearing in his voice. “I guess I better let you go. Ma will be home soon, and she’ll probably grill me about whatever is on her mind.”

 

“Say hi to that lovely mother for me,” Richie smirked.

 

“I honestly hate you.”

 

“Maybe I’ll see you tomorrow?” Richie asked, a bit hopeful.

 

“Wish I could. I’m visiting my aunts tomorrow. But I’ll be back Monday.” Eddie sighed again. “Promise you’ll tell me whatever you need to tell me?”

 

“I promise, Eds.”

 

Eddie hung up and Richie sat there for a moment. He put the receiver to his chest, as if he needed to slow down his heartbeat. Eddie may not think of Richie as a soulmate, but Richie will forever think of him as a best friend. He was concerned enough to call him and talk to him about the most recent news. He sounded so worried when Richie said that he needed to tell him something. Eddie shouldn’t have to worry.

 

_I can do this. I can admit to all of them the truth. Soon.  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sneak Peek of the next chapter:  
> //
> 
> "I wish he’d just tell me who it is now so I could get over it.” Eddie ranted, annoyed by the whole situation. “Doesn’t he trust us?”
> 
> “Get over it?” Stan echoed in a questioning tone. “Get over what?”
> 
> Eddie didn’t realize what Stan was asking until it hit him like a ton of bricks.
> 
> Oh no, oh no, oh no. What have I done??
> 
> “I… So we can… So we can move on from the whole situation. I don’t want this whole bracelet thing to drag on forever.”
> 
> “Why not? I still go on and on about mine,” Stan proclaimed, sounding a bit confused.
> 
> “That’s fine!” Eddie blurted out quickly. “That’s fine if you do! I just don’t want this whole mystery thing to go on, you know? I just want to know who it is. So I can get over his stupid-” Eddie caught himself again, taking a quick breath. “So we can get over this whole thing.”
> 
> Stan stayed quiet for a second. Eddie felt his heart start pounding against his chest. He knew how suspicious he sounded. He knew how odd it was. Yet, he prayed that Stan didn’t suspect a thing. 
> 
> Please, god. Let this conversation be over. 
> 
> Stan took in a deep breath and exhaled. He didn’t say anything right away, but then he whispered, “Eddie, do you like Richie?”
> 
> //


	3. Chapter Three

 

“They canceled the bar Mitzvah tomorrow. So would you still want to hang out?” Stan asked into the phone. Eddie crossed his legs and switched the receiver to the other ear. Stan had called him not too long after he spoke to Richie.

 

“I can’t. I’m visiting my aunts all day tomorrow.” Eddie scoffed, rolling his eyes. “I don’t know why we have to visit them all the time. Why can’t they come to us?”

 

“That’s their business, I guess.” Stan affirmed flatly.

 

  
“You alright, Stan?” Eddie asked a bit concerned. His voice sounded tired and slow. Exhausted was the word.

 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Bill and I got into an argument right before I called you.” Stan took a shaky sigh. “It was stupid.”

 

“Oh. I’m sorry, Stan.” Eddie apologize, guilty for bringing it up. He shifted uncomfortably in the couch.

 

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault that he’s a big fat liar.” Stan spat. He paused for a second. “I’m sorry. I really am. I just get really frustrated with him, alright?” Eddie heard a yawn into the phone.

 

“No, it’s okay.” Eddie assured, stretching his arms out. “Do you need to talk about it?”

 

“Maybe later. I need to think about it some more.” There was a pact of silence and Eddie decided to clear his throat.

 

“Hey Stan? I got something to talk about real quick.”

 

“Is it about earlier today? With love? We can go ahead and talk about it if you want. Or you can wait until Monday.” Stan’s voice sounded a bit tired.

 

“Uh, not yet. I need to think about what I need to ask first.” Eddie felt his face flush up a bit, embarrassed by how little he knew. “It’s about Richie, I guess.”

 

“Old Trashmouth?” Stan chuckled a little bit. “Yeah, go ahead.”

 

“I talked to him a few minutes ago. I asked him if he knew who he loved. He tried to say that he didn’t, but he tripped up and accidentally admitted it.” Eddie confided softly. “So he lied about that.”

 

“Well, duh. Of course he was lying.” Stan blurted out randomly. “You can’t say that you don’t know who you love. That’s not smart.”

 

“Then he said that he wants to tell all of us something next Friday. I tried to pry him open about it, but he wouldn’t say a thing.” Eddie sighed frustratedly, shaking his head a bit. “He usually can’t keep quiet about anything.”

 

“That IS weird. For Richie, at least...” Stan trailed off. “Why won’t he just say who it is already and get the embarrassment over with?”

 

“I was wondering the same thing!” Eddie effused, loudly. “He said that this time it had consequences if he told… Maybe he’s in love with someone who… who isn’t very kind.”

 

“Possibly. What does he mean by consequences?”

 

“I have no idea. I really don’t know what he means by anything. One minute he’s out to the world and one minute he’s secretive. I wish he’d just tell me who it is now so I could get over it.” Eddie ranted, annoyed by the whole situation. “Doesn’t he trust us?”

 

“Get over it?” Stan echoed in a questioning tone. “Get over what?”

 

Eddie didn’t realize what Stan was asking until it hit him like a ton of bricks.

 

_Oh no, oh no, oh no. What have I done??_

 

“I… So we can… So we can move on from the whole situation. I don’t want this whole bracelet thing to drag on forever.”

 

“Why not? I still go on and on about mine,” Stan proclaimed, sounding a bit confused.

 

“That’s fine!” Eddie blurted out quickly. “That’s fine if you do! I just don’t want this whole mystery thing to go on, you know? I just want to know who it is. So I can get over his stupid-” Eddie caught himself again, taking a quick breath. “So we can get over this whole thing.”

 

Stan stayed quiet for a second. Eddie felt his heart start pounding against his chest. He knew how suspicious he sounded. He knew how odd it was. Yet, he prayed that Stan didn’t suspect a thing. _Please, god. Let this conversation be over._ Stan took in a deep breath and exhaled. He didn’t say anything right away, but then he whispered, “Eddie, do you like Richie?”

 

“What?” Eddie asked sharply. Here it comes. Here it all comes. This could come crashing down at any moment. “No! Why in the world would I like him? I’m not gay and you know it! And trashmouth, out of all the possible people I know? Right!"

 

_PLEASE, Stan, let it go. Fuck. Fuckkkkkk_.

 

“It just seems like you do. You seem a bit jealous of whoever he loves.” Stan contributed. “Maybe that’s why you were asking all of those questions earlier.”

 

“No! I’m certainly not jealous of whoever! I was asking those questions because I wanted to know, that’s why!” Eddie stormed, straightening himself up. He made his voice sound angry, but in reality, Eddie was petrified. Stan was figuring it out, and Eddie was not ready. “Can I just ask a question without being jumped on?”

 

“Could I?” Stan asked flatly. Eddie grimaced, because Stan did have a point. “Listen, I don’t care if you do or don’t. I’ve been wondering this for a long time and I thought that I had caught something.” Eddie didn’t say anything. He sat there for a long time, the thoughts grinding against his head. He didn’t know what to do or say.

 

“I’m sorry, Eddie. I shouldn’t have said anything,” Stan apologized quietly.

  
  
“Can I come over?” Eddie asked abruptly. He didn’t want him to find out like this. But it was too late. He had to get this off his chest, whether he wanted to or not. “If that’s okay,”

  
“Of course.” Stan agreed in a serious tone. He must of realized how serious this had turned into. “Won’t your mom be home soon, though?”

 

“I’ll take care of her. I’ll be over in five minutes,” Eddie concluded sadly, his voice breaking on the last word. Stan hung up and Eddie jumped up from his couch. He ran upstairs to his room, snatching a piece of paper and a pen from his desk. He grabbed a pair of sneakers, a rain jacket (since the sky had gotten a bit gloomy) and ran back downstairs, running to the kitchen. Eddie dropped his sneakers on the ground and set the paper on the table He hurriedly took the pen and scribbled a message on it.

 

__**Mama,  
Something came up and I went to Stan’s. I promise I feel fine and I will be back soon. Please don’t worry.   
-Eddie**

 

He left it on the kitchen table and dropped the pen. He slid on his shoes, tying them as fast as he could. When he was done, he got up, ran to the front door, and locked it before he shut it. Eddie was about to run but he realized that he’d probably die before he got to Stan’s. He glanced around his house, looking for an alternative, before his eyes landed on his bike.

 

_Like old times_. Eddie went over to the side of his house, and groped the handlebars. He jumped onto the seat and pedals onto the driveway. He took a wide turn onto the street, and started to ride down the road.

 

_Hopefully this won’t go bad. You can do this, Eddie. You can do this! Stan has been your friend for a long, long time now. He’s gay himself. He’ll accept you._

 

_...Right?_

\---

  
  
“I don’t really know how to say this.” Eddie sighed shakily, looking down at the old carpet. They were both in Stan’s room, that way Stan’s mother couldn’t hear the conversation. Stan had been sitting on the twin sized bed, looking at Eddie. It freaked Stan out, how Eddie demanded to come over all of a sudden. He knew whatever Eddie needed to say was important, which is why he relented and let him come over. He doesn’t usually let friends come over unannounced. Eddie sat on Stan’s floor, across from the bed.

 

“Say it if you’re ready. You don’t have to.” Stan coaxed gently. Eddie glanced up at him for a second before resuming his contact with the rug.

 

_I wasn’t ready for any of this. I wasn’t prepared at all._

  
  
And that was true. Eddie had tried to rehearse what he would say to his mother before. He’d get maybe half-way through the conversation, but then the horrible possibilities of what his mom would rush through his head, and he’d stop immediately. He had wanted to come out so badly, but he knew that there was a HUGE risk. He could lose his friends. He could lose his mother. He could lose everybody and be tortured for it every single day.

 

_Could I live with being called a “fag” every single day?_

 

It did bring him some relief when Stan came out as gay. At least there’s one in the same boat. Their friends had been overwhelmingly supportive with him. Yet, for some reason, Eddie still didn’t want to come out. He didn’t know if he could deal with the stress with it.

 

_It’s more stressful to hide it._

 

“Stan…” Eddie mumbled, looking up at him. He stared into his eyes with a bit of worry. Here it comes. The big weight. Stan stared at him with a growing expression of concern, but he stayed quiet.

 

“I’m gay.”

 

Stan eyes widened slightly, and Eddie glanced back down, not being able to look at him. _Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, what did I just do?? Oh my god, that’s it, I’ve ruined everything, oh my godddd. What have I done? Why in God’s name did I do that?_

 

“Is that all?” Stan asked, sounding a bit relieved. Eddie looked up at him in utter surprise. That was certainly **NOT** what he was expecting. “God, you made it seem like Richie was about to die or something,”

 

“But… aren’t you mad?” Eddie demanded.

 

“Mad?” Stan raised an eyebrow at him. “Eddie, I AM gay.”

 

“I know that, but…” Eddie trailed off. It seemed stupid when he needed to say it aloud.

 

“Hey,” Stan hopped off the bed and knelt down to him. “Just because Derry doesn’t accept us, doesn’t mean that you should feel ashamed of who you are. We’re here to support you.”

 

“You mean that you support me?” Eddie whispered quietly.

 

“Of course I do. You’re one of my best friends.” Stan wrapped an arm around him for comfort. “Second to Bill, that is.”

 

“Classic,” Eddie grinned weakly, feeling his shoulders relax. He felt a small tear roll down his cheek. Stan looked in alarm.

 

“Shit, are you okay?”

 

“I’m fine, Stan.” Eddie sniffed and smiled. “It’s just… I finally did it. After all of these years, I’m finally out in the open. It feels amazing to let someone into my life.”

 

“It’s great, isn’t it?” Stan inquired, his face untightened and he leaned back, dropping his arm. “How long has it been? How long have you been closeted?”

  
“About four years.”

 

“Four?” Stan gasped, whipping his head around to Eddie. “Eddie, you can’t do that to yourself. It’s not healthy.”

 

“I know, I know.” Eddie sighed sadly. “I’ve wanted to, so incredibly bad, but-”

 

“But the town of Derry doesn’t welcome homosexuals. I got it.” Stan rolled his eyes in annoyance. “We’re living in the wrong time, Eddie.”

 

“You said it,” Eddie muttered. “I guess I better tell the others sooner than later.”

 

“Promise me that you won’t bottle up things that long? It’ll eat you up if you keep doing that.”  
There was a moment of hesitation in Eddie. “I promise, Stan.” Brief silence followed.

 

“It’s sort of funny, in a way.” Stan chuckled slightly, crossing his legs in front of him. “Beverly and I sort of suspected that you might of been gay. Yet, we couldn’t prove it.”

 

“Well, you were both right all along.” Eddie grinned, elbowing him in the arm. “I’m the second loser to come out, I guess.”

 

“You might be the last one at this rate.” Stan rolled his eyes again, but this time, it appeared to be more painful. “Bill might not even be gay.”

 

  
“I’m sure that he loves you, Stan. He just… hasn’t realized it yet.” Eddie explained softly. “Give him some time to figure things out.”

 

“I know. I really do need to be patient.” Stan sighed heavily, bringing his knees to his chest. He wrapped his arms around them. “But it’s rough.”

 

“Was that what the fight was about?”

 

“Um… He lied about his college application.” Stan paused. “We agreed that we’d apply to the same college. But I unintentionally found out over the phone that it wasn’t the case.”

 

  
“Woah.” Eddie blinked. “Why?”

 

“He said that he found a better college, and it offered scholarships. That’s nice and all, but it would of been great to know during the whole afternoon we spent, completing the forms.”

 

“Please tell me that you aren’t going to different schools.”

 

“We’re not. I’m changing my application. I was when I was talking to you, actually.” Stan sighed again, almost like a quick and annoyed huff. “I just wish that he didn’t lie to me about it.”

 

Eddie stayed silent for a moment, contemplating on how he should help. “You know what’s a bit funny? You might stay mad at him for the next day or two, but before you blink, you two will be back to being shoulder to shoulder.”

 

“You’re right.” Stan smiled, gratefully. “He just frustrates me so much, but I can’t do anything about it. I literally love him.”

 

“I feel the same way. Somewhat, at least,” Eddie shrugged hopelessly.

 

“So, you and Richie, huh?” Stan asked more in a serious tone. Eddie sighed and realized he had to confess that too. No point in lying now.

 

“I’d like to hope so.” Eddie sighed glumly. “But he got that stupid bracelet today, and I couldn’t see it. So he loves someone else.”

 

“Maybe not.” Stan imputed, perking up.

 

“You can’t see it unless you share feelings with the owner.” Eddie commented. “I didn’t see it and neither did you.”

 

“Eddie, you don’t have a bracelet. Correct?”

 

Eddie paused. “So? What’s your point, Stan?”

 

“First of all, you have to have a bracelet to see another bracelet.” Stan stretched his arms out before glancing back at Eddie. “Second, if you don’t have your bracelet, that means you’re not in love.”

 

“Okay, so…” Eddie trailed off, expecting Stan to finish his argument.

 

“That means that if Richie loves you, you wouldn’t even know it. You don’t love him back.” Stan stopped for a second. “Yet, at least.”

 

“Buzz off, Stan!” Eddie laughed, throwing a nearby pillow at him. “There’s no way that Richie would like me. He’s straight, anyway.”

 

“Have you not noticed the way he acts around you?”

 

“That’s everyday. That is who he is.”

  
“Oh my god, do I need to remind you what he does?” Stan sat straight up. “God forbid, he flirts with you like nobody’s business. You’re just too oblivious because you do it back.

 

“I do not!” Eddie felt his face flush up, pretty much giving away that he was lying.

 

“He has a temper tantrum every single time you’re not with us. Last time it was at the ice cream parlor. You couldn’t come with us, remember? As soon as he got there, he asked, ‘Hey, where’s Eds?’. When we told him you weren’t coming, he scowled and complained.”

 

“Well, I-"

 

“And do we even need to mention that he carries an extra inhaler for you? He does this without any order from you. He does it because he wants to.”

 

“Just in case!” Eddie added.

 

“Why don’t you want to believe it?”

 

“He. Is. Straight.” Eddie pointed out, clapping at the end of each word. “Besides, he loves someone and I don’t have a clue on what love even is.”

 

“You know… it’s all starting to click now.” Stan nodded, his eyes starting to glow. “Those questions you kept asking about love…”

 

Eddie felt his face flush up in embarrassment. “I just wanted to know. I really like him, Stan. I just don’t know if he’ll be… you know… the one.”

 

“Want to know what it’s like?” Stan requested, staring at Eddie in the eyes.

 

“Please tell me.” Eddie begged, leaning forward in anticipation.

 

“When I fell in love with Bill… We were at that camp thing, remember? Over the summer? It was that moment when he told those stupid adults off, after they tried to harass us. That night, I felt it right in my heart, right at that moment.” Stan beamed. “It was a strange feeling. I can’t really describe it… But once you feel it, Eddie, you’ll know what it is.”

 

Eddie seemed satisfied with the answer. It was cryptic, yes, but it was the truth. He slowly nodded and straightened up. “Alright. I’ll keep that in mind, then.”

 

“When you get your bracelet… promise that you’ll tell me as soon as possible?” Stan asked. “I know I wasn’t the first you came out to, but I want to support you for-”

 

“Stan. You’re the first one to find out.”

 

“What?”

 

“Naturally, I’m going to tell you first. True friends for life.”

 

“That’s a bit gay, Eddie.” Stan smirked. They both burst out laughing, Eddie falling over from laughter. They sat there cracking up, then quieted it down to giggles. Stan’s phone rang across the room, making them both jump.

 

“The FBI are onto us, Stan,” Eddie snorted.

 

“Shut up,” Stan jokingly hissed as he got up from the floor. He walked over to his nightstand and took the phone off the hook. “Hello?” His voice went from cracking up to a normal, almost professional voice.

 

Eddie got up off the floor and plopped himself on Stan’s bed. He saw the paperwork that he referenced earlier and picked it up, studying it closely. **_Lewiston Road University_** was crossed out and replaced with **_University of Southern Maine_**. Eddie felt awful. Stan had loved Bill so much, he was willing to go through the complicated hassle of changing his college application, just to be with him. Bill better love him. Stan is such a pure soul.

 

“Oh. He’s here. What’s the matter?” Stan asked, a bit of panic rising in his voice. He was facing away from Eddie, and Eddie just ignored it and looked at the rest of the page. Where was this university? Maine, which is good, but where? He scanned the page, looking for certain details. _Location of College : South Portland, Maine_. Well, that’s not too far from here.

 

“I see. Yeah, he’s better now. There was just an issue and he needed some help, that’s all.” Stan paused for a moment. Eddie perked up, wondering if it was possible that whoever was on the phone was talking about him. _Who was on the phone anyway?_ “Of course I will. Definitely. Maybe I’ll see you tomorrow?”

 

Eddie took the papers and stacked them back, making them look neater than before. He set them on the edge of the bed. He took a glimpse at Stan, who was leaning on the wall.

 

“Alright. You too. Goodbye.” He put the phone back on the hook, and looked straight at Eddie. “It was Richie.”

 

Eddie felt his face warm up. “Oh.”

 

“He was asking about you. He called your house again but you didn’t answer. Then he said that he saw you riding your bike… and it looked like you were crying?”

 

Eddie took a gulp. Guilty. “Yeah… I was. I was...scared, Stan.”

 

“He was calling the others to make sure you were alright.” Stan explained softly. “When you get home, give him a call, alright? He’s sounded pretty worriedEddie felt his face start to burn more. He really did care, didn’t he? “That’s… nice of him.”

 

“And you think he doesn’t love you.” Stan scoffed, a smile forming on his face. Eddie was about to give a “shut up” related comment when a sharp knock rattled the door.

 

“Eddie? You might want to head home soon. It’s starting to get dark.” Stan’s mother called through the door. “Your mother called. She said that there was an emergency with your aunt. We have some leftovers if you’d like some,” Stan rolled his eyes silently and yawned.

 

“Thank you, Ms. Uris. But I’m fine without any,” Eddie said through the door. Her footsteps, padded by the carpet, drew farther away until she went down the stairs. Eddie looked back at Stan.“I guess I better go, then.” Eddie heaved himself up from the ground, stretching his back that had started to ache.

 

“How do you feel?” Stan inquired gently, still hesitant to let Eddie leave yet. “Do you feel alright?”

 

“I promise, Stan. I’m alright.” Eddie chuckled a bit, amused by how Stan was acting. “I’m just a teeny bit nervous that I have to come out six more times.”

 

“The first time is the most terrifying. But trust me, you’ve got the big weight off your shoulders now.”

 

“I hope you’re right.”

 

“Who will you tell next?” Stan confided, handing Eddie his jacket. Eddie paused for a second. He had this exactly planned out in his head.

 

“You were first.” Eddie silently counted off the names in order, moving his fingers to keep track. His brain scanned over names. He had been thinking of this exact question for a long time, and he had constructed a certain order. He had doubts, of course. The order had to be important, because it dictated what people talked about. Yet… he wasn’t fully confident in his answer until this very moment. Eddie looked at Stan and said, “Richie.”

 

“You have an order, don’t you?” Stan asked him, gazing at him slyly. “Hm, I wonder why Richie was the second choice,”

 

  
“Because he’s a good friend, idiot,” Eddie hissed, his face heating up. He slid his gray jacket on and zipped it up quickly. “Then it’s Bill, Mike, Ben, and Beverly. Bevvie has to be last because we all know that she can’t keep anything to herself.”

 

“Neither can trashmouth, but you didn’t seem to-” Stan smirked before getting socked in his shoulder. “Ow!”

 

“I’ll let you know what he says, as soon as possible.” Eddie promised, throwing his pinkie out. Stan interlocked his pinkie with his with no hesitation. “I’m not sure when I’ll tell him, but if I call you at anytime, you better answer it.”

 

“I sorta had a hunch that you liked him. The way you look at him… and the way you blush… It all pointed to that direction.” Stan playfully shoved Eddie. “If you get together, you won’t beat Bill and me as the cheesiest couple.”

 

“You’re on! It’s a bet.” Eddie picked up his shoes near Stan’s dresser. He stayed quiet for a moment, not sure how he can express the overwhelming happiness that filled him. I’ve come out- and Stan accepted me. “Thank you for listening, Stan.” His tone became more serious.

 

“Thank you for trusting me, Eddie. I know it’s rough to talk about this… and I know you weren’t exactly ready… but thank you for telling me anyway. I’m here whenever you need help.” Stan smiled, almost beaming. That sight became too much for him, and Eddie went over to Stan and hugged him tightly. Stan accepted that too, returning the reassuring hug back.

 

“Don’t get any ideas Stan,” Eddie conceded, a small smirk appearing on his lips. “I’m 100% gay for Richie. Just because I hug you doesn’t mean a single thing,”

 

Stan burst out laughing. “Oh my god, look at you! How long have you been hiding your confidence?” Eddie loudly snorted at that. I have literally zero confidence, you uncultured swine! “No, really! ‘100% gay for Richie’? How LONG have you been waiting for this?”

 

  
“The jokes? A long, long time.” Eddie grinned lightly. “There’s definitely been some close calls. I remember one time, Beverly said that some guy was cute and I almost agreed with her… PUBLICLY.” Eddie smiled, cringing at the memory. Those sorts of memories always seemed to be panic-filled and something he ignored. Now he could laugh at them.

 

“I’m just so proud of you, Eddie. I really mean it.” Stan paused for a moment. “You should get going before it gets pitch black outside. I need to finish this stupid application anyway,” Stan practically spat the word ‘stupid’. Eddie could tell that he was not completely over what Bill had done.

 

  
“Do you need help?” Eddie asked sweetly. Eddie knew that he did need help. That’s why he’s been heading over to Bill’s everyday. Partially, at least. “I’m not good at this sort of thing, but I could try.”

 

“No, Eddie. I’d hate for you to get caught up in this.” Stan emphasized the word ‘this’. _Did he mean the college application or did he mean the drama between them?_

 

“You should talk to him. To straighten this whole thing out.” Eddie suggested, as he stuck his hands in his pockets. “I hate seeing you this way, without him.”

 

“That doesn’t matter. If he liked me, he would of told me. He wouldn’t have left me by myself.” Stan huffed. “He’s driving me crazy.”

 

“Stan… He really does love you.” Eddie tried to reassure, making his voice sound calm. “Sure, you’ll go through things, but one day he will love you. I promise.”

 

Stan smiled something that was genuine. “Thanks, Eddie.” He opened his mouth, then closed it. Eddie got slightly puzzled, wondering why Stan was hesitating so much.

 

Stan finally sighed and smiled something real to him. “I just wish you’d think that way about Richie.”

 

-

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sneak peek of the next chapter:
> 
> Eddie sighed impatiently. “Can you give me a hint? A small detail? I need something to calm my imagination until then.”
> 
> Richie took a good minute to consider if he should give him a hint. If so, how would he say it? Without making anything obvious? 
> 
> “Yes or no?” Eddie paused for a brief second. His voice dropped to a whisper. “Please hurry, my mother can come in any minute now. I’m not supposed to be on the phone,”
> 
> Richie thought about the wrath of Mrs. K, and decided, it’s now or never, bud. Yet, Richie under pressure is the last thing anybody wants. His mouth goes first before the rational part of his brain reacts. Before he knew what he was doing, he opened his mouth. 
> 
> “Sure. What I need to tell you guys is important. It’ll get you a step closer to finding out who my lover is.” Eddie didn’t make a single sound in the phone, silence correlating. Richie briefly hummed for a second, tapping the side of the phone with his finger. “Sweet dreams, Eds. I’ll see you soon.” 
> 
> -


	4. Chapter Four

 

_Where the fuck is he?_

 

Richie thought with swarming ideas of worry. He had stayed near that stupid phone after he called Stan. See, he rang Ben’s house first, and he denied that Eddie was with him. He hadn’t seen him since Friday. Richie thanked him anyway, and tried to call Beverly. She also shut him down, and was about to go hang out with Mike, who was currently with her. He said that hadn’t seen him recently, but suggested calling Bill.

 

_“Hey, let us know if you find him, alright?” Mike requested gently._

 

_“Alright. I will.”_

 

Richie called Bill, and while he claimed that he hadn’t seen Eddie that day, Stan had mentioned something about hanging out with him.

 

_“Are you saying that he’s at Stan’s?” Richie asked, a bit of relief flowing through his voice_.

 

_“Possibly, yes.” Richie heard Bill scoff. “Just when you talk to Stan, be careful. He’s in a bad mood.”_

 

_Yikes. Nobody likes Stan the Man when he’s pissed._

 

Richie thanked him regardless and dialed Stan’s phone number into the phone. Sure enough, Stan revealed that Eddie was indeed with him, and things were better now. Stan seemed a bit shocked to hear what Richie had told him, but he assured Richie that Eddie was alright and safe. The thought of Eddie being okay after all made his face grow warm.

  
  
It had been horrible, what he saw. Richie was in his garage, peering at the sky. The clouds were almost daring to rain, yet not a drop of water had fallen yet. He shuffled to the back, going to retrieve a Coca Cola from the refrigerator. When he came back to the front, viewing the whole street, he saw a boy riding his bike. He shrugged it off, popping open the can and taking a swig. As the boy moved closer, Richie realized it was Eddie. Richie jumped with surprise and went to go greet him.

 

He took about two steps when he noticed something that made him stop dead in his tracks. His glasses might be broken, but they still assisted him. He could see that Eddie’s eyes were swollen. He was gasping for air, which Richie didn’t find too strange at first, considering that he was going fast on the bike. It looked like he was having a panic attack. Eddie passed the house quickly, gaining more speed since he was going down a hill. Richie tried to call after him but it would of been impossible for Eddie to hear. Richie almost ran after him, but he knew that he couldn’t have kept up.

 

Seeing Eddie like that always got Richie frantic. It could of been ANYTHING.

 

_Did he get into another fight with his mother? Is it just a natural panic attack? What if he got into a fight with someone? Wait no-- That can’t be right. I just talked to him not too long ago._

 

Richie paced around his house, growing deeply concerned. _What if it was something I said? What could I have said that would of hurt him?_ Richie racked his brain for answers, but he couldn’t get anything.

 

_Wait. What if he thought I was hiding something about Friday? Maybe he thought that I was trying to exclude him. That had to be it._ Eddie sounded disappointed and even a little hurt when Richie wouldn’t tell him what was going to happen. Richie felt a tremendous amount of guilt. He should of just told him… what he needed to say. He thought it would of been easier to tell everyone at once, but now someone was hurt. 

 

So here he was now. Sitting on the worn out leather couch, a blanket wrapped around him, as he watched whatever was on TV. His head was propped up on the arm, right near the phone. He tried to pay attention to what the television was showing, he really did. Yet, he couldn’t seem to wonder what was wrong with Eddie. It had been two hours since he had talked to Stan, and he felt himself starting to grow tired. He almost dozed off a couple times, hanging his head, before snapping back up.

 

He might not call. Tonight, at least. Right? Stan had asked him to call, right?

 

_God, I fucking hope so. I just want to make sure that he’s doing alright. I really didn’t mean to hurt his feelings if I did. God, I should of just told him then. I really should of. Should I confess when he calls? Oh my god, this is horrifying._

 

Richie stopped for a minute, realizing how nervous he was getting.

 

_Well… whatever Eddie is going through… I’ll try to help him. The best I can. The best for the best. Will he love me back? If that ever happens… I’d be so thrilled I might lift him into the air and spin him, around and around. Fuck, that would be a sight._

 

His eyelids fluttered, as he almost drifted into sleep. His mind still strived with wonder, though. _How in God's name would I confess to him that I love him? I guess the bracelet somewhat makes it easier… but he might not ever see it. Yet… he might see it._

 

_One day…_

 

The telephone began to ring right in Richie’s ear, making him jump in surprise. He became fully alert and violently sat up, grabbing the receiver off the hook. Before Richie could even greet whoever was on the phone, they started talking.

  
  
“Richie?” The person spoke in a slightly shaky voice, on the brink of cracking. After a second, he recognized that the voice was Eddie’s. He must of been anxious of something, since he didn’t usually sound like that. Eddie usually spoke confidently, his words flowing ever so naturally. If Richie had embarrassed him enough, Eddie’s tone would immediately break, and he’d start stuttering worse than Bill. Why did Richie love that characteristic about him?

 

Richie let out a heavy sigh, relief washing all over his body. “Thank god. I was starting to think…” He paused for a moment, unsure on what he would say. “Well… I didn’t know what to think.”

 

“I’m sorry I took so long to call you.” Eddie hesitated for a moment. “I’m also sorry that you had to see me like that earlier.”

 

“It was about our call earlier, isn’t it?”

  
“What?” Eddie asked, confused. He heard Eddie shift the phone, possibly to his other ear. “What do you mean, Richie?”

 

Richie sighed. “I hurt your feelings earlier, didn’t I? I wasn’t trying to hide anything from you or anything. I just would of rather said it all to everyone. Make things easier.”

 

“Oh. That.” Eddie said softly. “Yeah. You didn’t hurt my feelings, you know.”

  
“You sounded upset.”

 

“It irks me a bit,” Eddie admitted, still talking softly. “But I wasn’t crying about that.”

 

_Wait._

 

“Then what’s wrong?” Richie replied, obviously lost. He adjusted his position on the couch. “Did somebody hurt you? Did you have a fight with your mom?”

 

“No--"

 

“Who did it? What did she say to you? I swear to god, if it was that knock-off Henry Bowers, I’ll-”

 

“No, nothing serious like that. I just…” Eddie trailed off, and it was pretty clear that he was thinking. “I’d rather tell you in person.”

 

“Then come over. Nobody’s home but me.” Richie suggested.

 

“I can’t. Mom came home a little bit ago and she flamed ME for getting home late. She came home when I went to Stan’s and saw my note. I left her a note saying I was at Stan’s and such. She actually was about to go to my aunt’s early, for an emergency,” Eddie practically spat the word ‘emergency’. “But realized it wasn’t that serious, so she never left. Then I got home an hour later and I got a lecture.”

 

“Your mom is a pain in the ass, and I barely see her.” Richie revealed, crossing his arms. “God.”

 

“Wow. I was expecting a ‘she’s annoying without any sex’ kind of joke,” Eddie chuckles a little bit. “I guess we can’t talk until Monday.”

 

“I guess so. Unless… why not share it on Friday? We’ll both have something to say.”

 

“Okay, then you better stick to your promise for Friday,” Eddie reminded him, as if he could forget. “Because I’ll admit it, that’s been stressing me out.”

 

“It’s not bad, Eds. It’s actually good.”

 

Eddie sighed impatiently. “Can you give me a hint? A small detail? I need something to calm my imagination until then.”

 

Richie took a good minute to consider if he should give him a hint. If so, how would he say it? Without making anything obvious?

 

“Yes or no?” Eddie paused for a brief second. His voice dropped to a whisper. “Please hurry, my mother can come in any minute now. I’m not supposed to be on the phone,”

 

Richie thought about the wrath of Mrs. K, and decided, it’s now or never, bud. Yet, Richie under pressure is the last thing anybody wants. His mouth goes first before the rational part of his brain reacts. Before he knew what he was doing, he opened his mouth.

 

“Sure. What I need to tell you guys is important. It’ll get you a step closer to finding out who my lover is.” Eddie didn’t make a single sound in the phone, silence correlating. Richie briefly hummed for a second, tapping the side of the phone with his finger. “Sweet dreams, Eds. I’ll see you soon.”

 

Richie ended the call, and fell back into the couch, smiling about what he just did.

 

-

  
_I am literally the world’s biggest idiot._

 

The thought hit Richie as soon as he hung up the phone with Bill. The two had gotten heavily engrossed into their conversation. Richie had called Mike first, to let him know that Eddie was alright. Mike was home by now, and Richie shared with him that he had gotten his bracelet. Mike was overjoyed for him, asking questions about how he felt and the same question Stan had:

 

_“Do you know who it is?”_

 

_God, why the FUCK was everyone asking me that?_ This time, Richie didn’t lie. He had said that he had, but wasn’t ready to admit it yet. It was too risky. Mike laid off a bit but still felt very proud of him. Mike had to go to bed, and Richie called Bill next. It was getting late by now, but he knew that Bill would be up. Bill was closer to Richie, and he felt that he’d be extremely excited to learn what Richie had gotten.

 

And that’s just what happened. Bill was in an extremely bad mood, but as soon as Richie told him what was going on, he seemed way more delighted than the others. Bill asked more detailed questions about the bracelet itself, sort of like what Eddie did earlier to Stan. Richie answered the best he could, but constantly let Bill know that he hasn’t had this thing long, so his answers weren’t exactly 100% accurate. Then Richie teasingly asked Bill if he had seen Stan’s bracelet today. An indication that Bill had finally fallen in love with Stan. Bill turned sort of sour, explaining what had happened earlier today.

 

“This college had scholarships. We’re both desperate for those, since college tuition costs so much? We’re doing our best to cut down on all costs, which is why we’re looking for one in Maine.” Bill explained, calming down a bit. “I kept it a secret because I was trying to get a scholarship for Stan first. I wanted to surprise him, I guess. But he found out today when I accidentally let it slip, and he took it the wrong way.”

 

“Why don’t you tell him that?” Richie asked softly.

 

“He’s furious with me. He probably thinks that I was trying to get rid of him or something,” Bill quavered. “Did he seem annoyed when you talked to him?”

  
“No. He wasn’t. You’ve got to fix this somehow, and the best way is to talk.”

 

Bill sighed. “You’re right. I know.”

 

They continued to talk about the bracelets for a while before Bill wanted to go to sleep. Richie relented, because he was extremely tired. It had been a fantastic day, of course, but it had also been long. So Richie practically fell into bed, burying himself underneath a bunch of covers. He snuggled up next to a pillow, and he kept thinking about how Friday will go.

 

He’d planned on telling them this upcoming Friday, but they all had plans to go roller-skating. Richie decided that he didn’t want his personal problems to get in the way of the fun, so he postponed it for the week after. He wanted to do it on a Friday, because if it went horribly wrong, he would have the weekend to suffer. Then by the time he would be back at school, things would hopefully be normal again.

 

Then it all hit him at once. How in god’s name is he going to admit that he is gay? Is he just going to walk up to everyone, and just say, ‘I’m gay,’ and move on? Or would he start off with something thoughtful and ease into it?

 

_WHAT IN THE WORLD DID I JUST FUCKING SIGN UP FOR???_

 

He would totally back out. If he could. _I’m such an idiot. I promised Eddie that I would tell him! I hyped it up for him! Now he’s expecting this huge announcement, and I don’t even know how to say it! What is wrong with me??_ Richie groaned, and threw his head into the pillow on his left. How could he not think of this before?

 

He took in a deep breath. Breathe, Richie. He adjusted his position and closed his eyes. _I don’t really want to make this a big deal. Maybe I could come out in a way that’s not too blunt. Something more discrete. Yeah, yeah. I’ll do something like that._ Richie wondered how they’ll react. They accepted Stan. So why wouldn’t they accept him?

 

Richie needed to stop scaring himself. He needed to go to sleep. Richie closed his eyes, which were growing heavy anyway, and curled up beside the pillow again. It was time for some sleep.

 

_What if Eddie was lying beside me right now?_

 

See, **that** is the reason right there why Richie doesn’t usually get sleep. His stupid thoughts always seemed to prevent anything from getting done. Well… alright. Richie admits that it’s not too bad of a thing to think about… but he needs to fucking sleep right now! He can’t get distracted by this. He doesn’t need to worry about this.

 

_Eddie could be next to me._

 

Oh, for fucks sake. 

 

_What if we were cuddling right now?_

 

Richie gives up and thinks more about Eddie. Those beautiful brown eyes he tends to get lost in. The freckles that decorated his cheeks and the tip of his nose. That extremely brief, but cute little grin he gave to Richie when he called him ‘Eds’. Those whips of brown hair that curled at the ends, that fell into his face from time to time. Those pink little lips that Richie peeked at from time to time. That little blush that Eddie had when he had gotten flustered.

 

That time when Eddie wanted to go home, so Richie helped him pretend to be sick? That time that Eddie made a chocolate cake for him, in secret, just for his birthday? That time Eddie cared for Richie when he had the flu, since his parents were out of town? That time they had done makeup on each other, went a few towns over, and laughed their asses off at McDonalds? That time Eddie made a lunch for Richie, since there was no food in their house? That time Eddie sneaked out of his own house to make sure that Richie was alright, since he had been afraid to go home?

 

Richie closes his eyes and gets pretty comfortable. Exhausted. His head sinks into the pillow and his breathing starts to slow down. He slips into a strange state, where he was conscious but he was slowing drifting off.

 

_There’s no doubt that I love him._

-

 

He opens his eyes again in what felt like five minutes. Sunlight practically flew into his eyes, and he felt like he’d been blinded. He closed his eyes immediately, regretting his decision. _That’s it. I’m going to have to finish my junior year blind. Fantastic._ He rubs his eyes and tries to open them again. This time he can see- but it’s still really bright. Richie pulls the cover back and immediately feels a pain in his stomach.

 

_I didn’t eat dinner last night. I was too caught up with Eddie_.

 

Richie grabs his crippled glasses and puts them on his face. He opens the door swiftly and goes down the stairs so fast, he almost trips. Richie glimpses out the front door and strolls to the kitchen. Richie stops and looks back at the door, positive that something didn’t look right. He slowly walks up to the door, curious. There was a slip of paper taped onto the door. It was folded in half neatly. Richie unlocked the door and grabs the folded paper. He studies what the front says.

 

**_Richie_ **

 

He went back inside, not daring to fall for some idiotic prank someone could of pulled. He would read it inside, in the safety of his house. He locked the door again and ran to the kitchen. Richie pulled a wooden chair back from the table and set himself in it. He unfolded the note, a bit curious on who sent it.

 

**_Hey Richie,_ **

**_  
I just wanted to thank you for being so concerned yesterday. It was really nice of you. I greatly appreciate it, trashmouth. Now if we’re still meeting up on Friday to talk, I need to tell you what I need to say in private. We can walk to Jeffrey’s Hill, maybe? I don’t feel too confident in the Barrens for this. ( This is next Friday, right? We’re still going roller-skating this Friday. )_ **

 

**_If something comes up, I 100% get it. I’ll still tell you anyway._ **

**_  
Now, what we can do is we could either walk to Jeffrey’s Hill after school, or we could meet up at a certain time. I’m free whenever. Or hell, we can meet somewhere else. It’s up to you. I’m just here to tell you._ **

 

_**Alright. I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ll be home around 9:30 tonight but I doubt I can use the phone. Ma’s still pretty angry. I’ll try to call anyway because she’s a bitch. But don’t bet your money on it. Wish me luck with my aunts. I know you’ve said that you call me cute exactly like they do… that’s not true at all. I personally like it more from you.** _

 

__**You better not back out!! I wanna know!!!  
Thank you Mr. Trashmouth,   
Eddie♥**

  
_Did he…_

 

_Did he just…_

 

Richie’s heart exploded.

 

The making of plans? The ‘I’m gonna call you anyway, no matter what my mom says’ comment? The thank-you? The ‘I like it better when you call me cute’ comment??

  
The **HEART** near his name???

Eddie will be the death of Richie. He just about fell out of his chair on the first sentence. _Well, Eddie, two can play that game._ He had to respond to this, no matter what he’d do. Richie stood up from his chair so quickly it almost fell over. He rushed to his father’s office, and grabbed a sheet of printer paper. He also grabbed a pen, and ran back to the kitchen table.

 

He began to scribble his response.

 

_**Eddie Spaghetti,** _

__**  
  
It’s no problem! I just wanted to make sure that you were alright. You looked pretty bad (for once) so I wanted to know if you were okay.**

 

_**I have tuba practice after school that Friday, so we’ll have to meet up. We should each be there by 5:30. Is that alright? Jeffrey's hill is fine with me.** _

 

_**Also, how dare you defy the laws of Mrs. K???? You shall pay for your sins, you nugget. If you call, I’ll be up though.** _

 

_**Sidenote: you’ll be seeing this when you’re back from your aunt’s house. Hope it didn’t suck that much. I envy your aunts. I want to be the one that calls you cute. Also, ha ha. Now you can’t deny that you like being called ‘cute’ because you told me! I’ll keep that note forever, spaghetti. Mainly for evidence. But it still makes me happy.** _

 

_**Looking forward to next Friday, cutie!** _

__**  
(You better not back out either! Got my eye on you, scrub)  
Thank you, Mr. Spaghetti, **

_**Richie♥️** _

 

Richie folded the note and slipped on his shoes near the door. He knew that Eddie had already left, and he knew that he could _NOT_ put this note on their front door. If Mrs. K saw that, she’d flip her shit. So, Richie knew that he had to get a bit creative in order for him to see it. Richie racked his brain for any possible way that he could do this. _Front door, obviously not. Back door? No, that’s not smart either. Maybe I could slip it in the mailbox? Eddie’s probably forced to get that anyway. Wait, no. He might not see it. Damn, why did Mrs. K have to make this so difficult?_

 

Then the answer was so bluntly clear, Richie felt stupid for it. Eddie had told him this before, just in case Eddie had gotten grounded. Richie had only gone once, which it was extremely easy to get to.

  
  
_Tape it to his window._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I apologize for how long this took me to post. Things happen! 
> 
> I'm not going to include a sneak peek, because I don't want to reveal too much about the next chapter. You just have to wait and see! 
> 
> Thank you for reading and supporting this fic! I love reading all of the nice things you guys say about it! My little heart can barely take it :)


	5. Chapter Five

 

Today was the day.

 

It had only been two painfully long weeks, but it was finally here. Richie would finally tell Eddie what he needed to say. Eddie would explain what happened the past Saturday. Simple. 

 

It hasn't been a smooth few weeks for Eddie. He was _dying_ to know what Richie needed to say. He kept prying, and prying, and PRYING. But all Richie would do was smile and say, ' _Patience is key, dearest.'_

 

Oh, and that fucking note he had seen two weeks ago hadn't slipped his mind either. Quite the contrary. 

 

See, Eddie had sent that note to Richie in the first place to confirm their plans, and as a resource to calm down a little. He had just come out to someone when he wrote it, for gods sake. Eddie had been stressed all over again, since he’d have to come out to Richie now. Luckily, the stress wasn’t that bad. It was still there, but it was nothing compared to what he felt with Stan.

 

Then when Eddie had come home the following night, later than he and his mother had both anticipated, he saw it. He had barely noticed it at first, since he was too exhausted to really process anything. He threw himself onto his bed, a bit dramatically, when he realized it. A folded piece of notebook paper, taped on the outside of his window, and the corner slightly blowing in the breeze…

 

♥️ _Eddie_ ♥️

  
  
He had read that note at least ten times. He sighed heavily, keeping the note close to his chest. Eddie kept a tight grip on it, putting it over his heart. He wasn’t sure why he did that, yet, it seemed like Richie was closer to him that way. Or maybe it was to control his quick heartbeat. He was just too cute. Eddie was surprised that Richie had **returned** the flirting. He flirted harder than he had. Eddie wasn’t sure why he even had the balls to flirt in the first place. He had been writing the note, and decided, fuck it.

 

He hid the note in his pillowcase. He didn’t need his mother to see it. It was his own business.

 

The thought of the note made Eddie think more and more about Richie, which was definitely not a bad thing. They’ve been friends ever since they were ten years old, but they really became closer in the summer, three years ago. An unfortunate thing to bond over, but it didn’t matter. All of the loser’s had become a big group of pals. Eddie remembered the exact moment that he started to develop feelings for Richie.

 

When he had grabbed that baseball bat, and went to attack that clown for Bill without any shits in the world, Eddie had thought he was so brave for it. So humble. So galant. He rather risk his life for Bill, instead of saving his own ass. It really spoke to Eddie. He remembered the migraines and headaches that followed after that event. Eddie didn’t know that he was gay. Eddie didn’t even fully understand what it meant. But now, all of a sudden, he likes Richie Tozier? It struck him as perplexed, and even a bit frustrated.

 

_I shouldn’t like boys. That’s a sinful thing to do._

 

Then, there was that super small part of his brain that disagreed, and he knew it. Eddie always tried to lie to himself.

 

Eddie, after a long period of time and consideration, decided that he did like Richie Tozier, and it would be nobody’s business except his. He stuck to that promise for three years. He still secretly drooled over Richie, and nobody even knew.

 

Well… until now.

 

When Eddie walked into the school entrance that morning, bright and early as usual, he caught sight of Stan. He was neatly taking books out and putting binders in. Stan is the neatest person Eddie knows. Eddie pushes past the clumps of people, and Stan smiles at him.

 

“We made up.”

  
  
“See? It only took two extremely long weeks!” Eddie grinned. Bill and Stan haven't been exactly amazing with each other because of the fight. They would still talk to the other losers, but they would mainly avoid each other's existance. It honestly had sucked. “What had happened?”

 

“He wasn’t trying to lie to me. He was trying to surprise me.” Stan started, color rising to his cheeks. “Bill said they were acceping scholarships more frequently at this certain school, and wanted to surprise me. I just took it the wrong way. I literally cried when he told me that,”

 

“Ugh, he needs to get his bracelet already!” Eddie gushed, and Stan started to chuckle. 

 

“My frustrations exactly.”

 

“Now all we need to worry about is Richie.”

 

“Yeah. I wonder what he’s going to say,” Stan inquired, gently shutting his locker door. “I tried to ask him but he told me to wait until lunch.”

 

“That’s not too far away.” Eddie shrugged slightly. Stan cleared his throat.

 

“Have you come out to him yet?” He whispered quietly.

 

“I’m doing it after school,” Eddie replied, almost silently. “I wonder what he’ll do.”

 

“He’ll continually support you as if it were the last thing he could do. Then you’ll elope and get married in Mexico,” Stan grinned, elbowing him in the arm. “Now here’s the bigger question. Who’s last name will you go by?”

 

“Knock it off,” Eddie giggled, playfully shoving him. “Hey, so where is everybody?”

 

“Well, Richie and Beverly went to smoke a while ago,” He glanced at his watch. “Mike and Ben went to go turn in some books at the library. I haven’t talked to Bill since yesterday.”

 

“Oh, hey, will you let me borrow your chemistry notes?” Eddie started to walk in the direction of their homeroom. “Our test got postponed yesterday and I need to know what to expect.”

 

“Yeah, no problem,” Stan shrugged. Stan suddenly looked at Eddie slyly and smirked. “I mean, I get it. You need to find out if the chemistry between you and Richie is real,”

 

Stan jumped out of the way as Eddie tried to hit him. Eddie stared at him for a moment before they both burst out laughing. So hard that Stan hunched over and let himself loose. It was rare for Stan to make jokes, and when he did, they were usually hilarious. Eddie loved feeling free like this. Where he could just unwind and enjoy moments, insteading of hiding things inside like he usually did.

 

\--

 

“What’s good, losers?” Richie beamed as he set his lunch bag down on the table. Eddie scooted more to the right to give him some more room to sit. “Thanks, Eds,”

 

“Alright, alright. Tell us what you’re going to say.” Beverly sighed impatiently, leaning herself forwards. She sat directly across from Eddie, and rest her head in her hands. “Is it about you-know-who?”

 

“Woah, slow down there, speed-racer. I haven’t even sat down yet,” Richie chuckled, finally sitting himself down into the chair.

 

“She has a right to be curious, Richie. You never answered our questions. We’re not done, you know,” Ben added, slyly.

 

“Please!” Mike rolled his eyes. “HE called to tell me, but refused to tell me who it was.”

 

“Tell me about it.” Stan laughed. “Eddie and I went to get coffee with him, which is when he got it. When I asked who it was, he tried to say he didn’t know. As if! Wasn’t he lying, Eddie?”

 

“No offense, Richie,” Eddie grinned softly. “But you’re a horrible liar.” Eddie gave Stan a private glance, saying not to mention anything. They already knew for a fact that Richie lied about it, but the others hadn’t.

 

“I don’t believe this!” Richie pretended to sob. “I thought you were my family! Bill, you’ll stick up for me, right?”

 

Bill sort of just stared at him, then cocked an eyebrow. “I’m agreeing with them.”

 

Richie let out a gasp that sounded awfully offended. “How dare you all!”

 

“So, whatcha need to say, Rich?” Mike asked, sounding a bit curious. They all looked at Richie in one swift motion.

 

“Right.” Richie cleared his throat. “So, I did lie about not knowing. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings or anything, but…” Richie trailed off.

 

Eddie looked at Richie with a concerned look. _Is he okay? Is this actually serious?_

 

“I’ve thought about it, and I’ve decided to say why I lied.” Richie began, in a serious tone of voice. “Since lying is a horrible thing.”

 

Silence filled the table. _Why, why, why did I push him to say this? He’s clearly hesitant!_

 

“I don’t want to say who I love yet. I don’t know if they love me back anyway, but that’s not the point. I don’t want them to get into some trouble.”

 

“Trouble?” Stan asked, obviously lost. “What kind of trouble?”

 

“She won’t get into any trouble, Richie.” Beverly coaxed gently.

 

“But they will. If I let people know, he’ll be harassed more than he already is.” Richie tensed up gently and sighed. Eddie’s jaw dropped.

 

**He.**

 

I fucking knew it all along.

 

“Are you saying…” Bill trailed off, his eyes wide with wonder.

 

“They are a boy. Yes, that’s what I’m saying,” Richie whispered. “And we all are well aware that being a homosexual in Derry is too dangerous.”

 

Eddie snorted. “Yeah, I know. I’m well fucking aware.” Eddie suddenly got puzzled looks from everybody. Stan was giving him a ‘ _you’re an idiot_ ,’ stare. Richie raised an eyebrow at him, a small grin parting in his lips. Beverly didn’t look too surprised. Mike and Ben glanced at each other, and Bill gave him a deer-in-headlights look. Eddie realized what he had just said to them, and cleared his throat. “Anyway, continue,”

 

“So, yeah. I just don’t want to tell you guys yet until I know where this is going.” Richie explained, using his usual tone again. “He doesn’t have his bracelet yet, so that’s something to pull my hair out to.”

 

“Stan and I always bet that you were gay.” Beverly giggled. “You’re not the only one either. See, there’s also E-” Beverly was cut off by Stan, who slapped the back of her neck. "Ow! Fuck, that actually hurt!" Eddie practically jumped, knowing full well that he was about to be called out in front of fucking EVERYBODY.

 

“Let me rephrase the first rule to this game, is that we don’t TALK about this game,” Stan hissed. Stan looked in his direction apologetically. Eddie mouthed a ‘thank you’ and Beverly pushed him off, grumbling a few choice words.

 

“No, let the lady speak, Stan.” Richie smirked. “This could be interesting. Mike, what do you think? Who else did they bet?”

 

“Shut up, Richie,” Mike groaned. “Nobody cares,”

 

“Eddie?” Richie turned his focus to Eddie, whose face was bright red. “What about you?”

 

“I refuse to participate.” Eddie scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Maybe we should just drop this game, thank you,”

 

“You know what else drops, Eddie? Your mom after I’m finished-” This time it was Eddie’s turn to slap a hand over his mouth. Richie didn’t look too surprised, and kissed the inside of his palm. Eddie stood there, bewildered, then Richie pressed his tongue into his palm. Eddie recoiled instantly at the second motion.

 

“Ew!” Eddie cried, wiping his hand onto Richie’s pants. “You’re an abomination!”

 

“Let me guess,” Ben chuckled. “He licked your hand?”

 

“See, haystack knows what’s up.” Richie laughed, doing a finger gun to Ben. Ben smiled.

 

“You’re gross.” Eddie spat, taking a sip of his water.

 

 _He kissed my hand. He kissed my hand._ _**He just kissed my hand**. Why did he have to ruin it by licking it?_

 

“Anyway, that’s all I really had to say.” Richie smiled. “I’m not trying to draw this out. It is important. Well… to me, at least.”

 

 _It’s important to me, Richie. I wish I could tell you that._ “Well, thank you for trusting us enough to tell. It’s flattering.” Ben gave a reassuring smile.

 

“Yeah. It’s cool that you’re part of the bracelet club, Richie.” Stan grinned. “Now we’re just waiting on two idiots who haven’t even opened their invitation yet.”

 

“Excuse _you_ ,” Bill interjected sharply. “Eddie and I have gotten our invitations. We just think your club is too lame.”

 

“Excuses, excuses,” Mike murmured, softly shaking his head.

 

“Then why does Richie have one all of a sudden?” Beverly pointed out, a smirk rising to her lips.

 

“Eh. We kicked him out of the club. Didn’t we, Bill?” Eddie beamed.

 

“Rude. What is this, ‘make fun of me’ day?” Richie pretended to cry, burying his face into his hands.

 

Eddie punched him gently in the arm. “If it was, we wouldn’t support you, idiot.” Richie lifted his head out of his hands. Richie opened his mouth but then he closed it. That struck Eddie as off.

 

“So.” Beverly took a sip of her water. She wiped off her mouth and smacked her lips. “Tell us a little bit about him.”

 

“I’m wasn’t planning on giving information, Nancy Drew.”

 

“Fine. If you tell us a few things about your little lover,” She wiggled her eyebrows. “Then we’ll each share a secret. Whaddya say, Rich?”

 

“Depends. What sort of secrets are we talking about?” Richie wondered, crossing his arms suspiciously.

 

“Something that nobody knows about us.” Beverly cleared her throat. “For example, Stan can finally admit who is lover is.”

 

Stan shifted in his seat, clearly uncomfortable. Everyone at that table but Bill knew. That was for an obvious reason. Yet, the other losers promised to act like they didn’t know, so Bill wouldn’t feel left out. “In your dreams, Bevvie.”

 

“Or maybe who Bill likes,” Beverly glanced at Bill, giving him a smirk. There was a private look between the two, and Eddie figured that Beverly somehow found out. I’ll have to pull that out of her later. “Or who Eddie likes. That’s a true mystery I want to learn.”

 

Eddie jumped. “Woah, woah, woah. Don’t jump to conclusions there, ma’am.” His face burned furiously, because the guy he liked was sitting inches away from him. “I’m not agreeing to that.”

 

“Hmm. I’m curious.” Richie hummed slightly before adjusting his glasses. “You might be onto something, Bev.”

  
  
“No way. No, no, no.” Bill refused, shaking his head dramatically. “I’m not saying who.”

 

“Yeah, me neither.” Eddie muttered quietly. He looked down at his legs, almost in shame. It was too embarrassing.

 

_I don’t even love him. Richie would never think the same of me again._

 

Eddie glanced back up, noticing that Beverly had started to tickle--yes, tickle-- Stan. Bill and Ben held him place as Mike was hunched over, laughing. Actually, they were all dying of laughter. Stan was loudly slurring every threat imaginable, as Beverly persisted, not letting up.

 

“Tell us, Stan!” Beverly giggled as she tickled his sides.

 

“NEVER!”

 

Eddie watched in amusement when Richie lightly tapped him on the shoulder. Eddie looked at Richie, when he leaned in close to his ear.

 

“Hey, are you alright?” Richie whispered lowly, concern lacing his voice. His breath hit the back of Eddie’s neck, making him slightly shudder. _Dear god, why on earth did I do that? I am not good at this at all_. “You seem off.”

 

“Oh no, I’m fine. I’m just… thinking.” Eddie hesitated for a second. “So you like boys?” He whispered back.

 

“I didn’t think I did. I don’t know, I’ve liked girls before.” Richie admitted bashfully. His eyes shifted a bit. “But I like this guy. I love him.”

 

“That’s great that you do.” Eddie smiled, trying to ignore the gnawing pains of jealousy in his stomach. “Is he nice to you?”

 

“Yeah. He sure is.”

 

“Well, I’m relieved. It seemed like he wasn’t someone good when you wouldn’t say anything. Now I understand,” Eddie chuckled softly. He shuddered a little, this time from feeling upset. He took a quavering breath and glanced back at Richie, who had given him some space. Yet, he was still eyeing him.

 

“Are you sure that you’re okay?” Richie asked again, looking more concerned than before. “You look like you’re on the brink of an episode.”

 

Eddie drew back a bit, more in surprise. How did he do that? “How… how do you know that?”

 

Richie chuckled softly. “I’ve known you for years, Eds. You just figure these things out, I guess.” Richie’s expression faltered. “If you need to talk about anything, let me know, alright?”

 

“Enough! Stop! Okay, okay, can I make a truce?” Stan pleaded, as he was out of breath. Beverly finally stopped, collapsing on the table with contagious giggles. Ben and Bill let go of him, all of them laughing furiously. Mike ruffled his hair with a grin, and Stan moved away from him. He huffed angrily, snatching his water bottle and taking a sip.

 

“Do you surrender?” Richie asked, the joking tone returning to his voice. Eddie involuntarily stared at Richie with wonder. He had never noticed how pink his lips were. “Will you tell us?”

 

“I’m sorry, but when did we switch the focus on me?” Stan asked flatly, looking highly annoyed. “Go bother someone else.”

 

“You raise some good points, Stan. We’ve pretty much already figured you out,” Beverly smirked slyly as Stan let out an annoyed huff. “I’d like to pinpoint on Eddie.”

 

Eddie snapped out of his gaze and glared at Beverly. “Right, okay.”

 

“Leave him alone, Bev.” Bill warned. “The loners’ club doesn’t share who.”

 

“Loners’ club?” Mike inquired, with a grin. “Creative.”

 

“Spill it, Eddie.” Beverly affirmed. She certainly didn’t waste time, that’s for sure. “Who do you get hard for?”

  
“Woah, _alright_ ,” Ben laughed, shaking his head. “Get straight to the point, then.”

 

“When did this become the _find-out-who-people-like committee?_ ” Eddie asked sharply, raising an eyebrow. “Because I certainly did not sign up for this. Which is why I won’t say who.”

 

“Oh, so it’s a confirmed fact? You like someone?” Mike hinted, a smirk appearing on his face. Eddie knew two things: First of all, he was not good at being smooth, at all. Second, he _hated_ being under pressure.

 

Eddie blushed wildly and looked up at the ceiling. “N-no.” He rest his hands on the seat, near his sides. _Don’t look at them. Don’t look at them. For God’s sake, don’t look at them!_

 

“You’re a horrible liar.” Bill grinned. Eddie shot him a fierce glare. “You’re blushing.”

 

“Wonderful.” Eddie sighed.

 

“I’m just asking so we can set you up. Answer me, Eddie. When was the last time you went on a date?” Beverly asked, resting her head on her propped up arm. Her head was slightly tilted, as if she were actually listening. That’s when Eddie started to silently panic.

 

_I haven’t been on a date. I’ve never dated anybody. I haven’t had my first kiss. Oh my god, I am a literal loser._

 

Eddie’s eyebrows furrowed as he considered what to say. “Uh. No.”

 

“No? No as in you haven’t been on a date?” Beverly’s jaw dropped, and Ben’s eyes widened. Eddie looked at his watch, hoping lunch would be over soon. Hoping that this god-awful conversation was almost done. 15 more minutes to go. “Eddie, I’m sorry.”

 

“No, it’s okay.” Eddie would admit it, anything that had to do with love and romance gave him anxiety. He loved the feeling, but it was also stressful. Like, the fact that he has pretty much NO experience whatsoever. “I’m just a little slow, that’s all. It’s nothing bad,” Eddie tries to smile.

 

“She’s not trying to be rude or anything. I sorta agree with her. You should get set up with someone. Just to start… meeting new people?” Mike trails off, sort of shrugging. Eddie had noticed that Stan was completely silent. _Thank you, Stanley. I love you like a brother._

 

Eddie opened his mouth to respond when he felt something brush up against his hand. Bill began to respond to the comment, but Eddie had completely tuned them out. There was something warm on top of his hand. Eddie slowly gazed to his hand, and he almost fainted. Richie’s hand was gently laying on top of Eddie’s. Eddie snapped his head up to look at Richie. He expected for Richie to be looking at him, but he was staring at Mike and Bill, listening to them. With a small, grin planted on his lips.

 

That was **not** an accident. He would of moved his hand by now.

 

So here was Eddie, sitting in his seat trying not to melt. He _KNEW_ that his face was practically on fire. He _KNEW_ that he could faint at any minute. Eddie had felt many things before, but THIS was something new. Richie was almost holding hands with him. A simple gesture. _So why am I freaking out?? Good god, this is amazing._

 

“Eddie? Hello?” Stan waved to Eddie, who snapped back into focus. “Are you alive?”

 

“Sorry, sorry. What’s happening?”

 

“What’s happening is that you got lost,” Ben smirked slyly. “But anyway, Mike and I are going to the movies later. What should we see?”

  
“Uh… what are the choices?” Eddie asked, a little bit flustered.

 

“Nevermind.” Beverly giggled lightly. “Clearly your mind is somewhere else.”

 

Richie finally looked at Eddie when she said that. “You might be right, Bevvie.” He squeezed his hand gently and winked. Eddie stared at him in awe. They both interlocked fingers lightly. Eddie smiled at him, and kept his hand there. It was something only the two of them knew-- their little secret.

 

_If only I could kiss him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sneak peek of the next chapter:
> 
>  
> 
> “I’m not really that surprised. You’re very…” Mike paused and chuckled. “Attached to him, I guess.”
> 
>  
> 
> “Well, obviously.” Bill grinned as Richie raised an eyebrow. “You can’t separate them at all. They’re practically already dating.”
> 
>  
> 
> “Oh, so like you and Stan?” Richie asked with a smirk. Mike burst out laughing as Bill repeatedly hit Richie in the shoulder. “Hey, don’t bruise me up!”
> 
>  
> 
> “Why? Is that Eddie’s job?” 
> 
> \--


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some homophobia in here. I just needed you to know that before you read this. Thanks!

 

“You’re not very subtle about this,” Stan whispered. Richie practically jumped out of his seat, and snapped his head to the direction of his voice. The science room had been practically silent for once, so Stan’s voice had just about scared the shit out of him. He turned around to see Stan staring at him. Richie gave him a smirk and rolled his eyes.

 

“Subtle about what, fro-boy?”

 

“Fro-boy?” Stan blinked in confusion, then his eyes narrowed. “Is that referencing my hair?”

 

“You need to tame that thing from time to time.” Richie snorted, pulling on a curl of Stan’s. “You wouldn’t want Bill’s fingers getting tangled up in it, now would you?”

 

Stan opened his mouth in protest, but then quickly shut it. “You’re good at changing subjects, aren't you?"

 

“Well, go ahead. Enlighten me with what you have to say.” Richie completely turned his body around, sitting backwards in his seat. He leaned forward, closer to Stan. “What am I not subtle about?”

 

“About who you love, that’s what.” Stan muttered, with a smirk. “It was obvious before. Now you practically admitted it at lunch.”

 

Richie slightly drew back, a bit surprised. He adjusted his glasses and grinned. “Oh, really?”

 

“Really,” Stan repeated, not dropping his gaze.

 

“This is a sad trick to try and find out who it is; you’re not going to win this one, Stanley.” Richie shook his head slowly.

 

“You’re such an idiot. I saw it in the cafeteria.”

 

“I’m the idiot? Hello?” Richie chuckled softly. “You’re the one jumping to conclusions without evidence.”

 

“Excuse me?” Stan rolled his eyes at him and smiled. “Did you really just accuse me of not having evidence? I will list every piece of evidence right now, in front of every single person, that you love--"

 

Richie pretended to cough, masking what Stan was about to say. He scanned the room, hoping that nobody was looking at him. Nobody was. Richie brought his attention back to Stan, who was eyeing him innocently. “Okay, shithead, I'm talking to you, not the whole damn classroom. How’d you like it if I screamed who you loved?”

  
“I’d like it.” Stan joked. “It’s about time that he notices. Same goes for you and your sick man.”

  
“You have no idea, just admit it.” Richie whispered, a bit annoyed now. _Couldn’t Stan just leave me alone now? He’s just trying to play games._

 

“Yeah. Well, next time, if you want to be so secretive about who you love...” Stan hesitated. “You know what? I’ll keep playing this stupid game with you. How about it?”

 

“No. Please, continue,” Richie led on, actually curious about what Stan was going to say.

 

“No. If you’re going to keep beating around the bush and keep playing this game of yours, then why ruin the fun? I’ll play along in this game too.” Stan explained simply, and picked up his pencil. “Admitting it to your lover is one thing, but by this point, you should be able to tell us.”

 

“Dammit, Stan. You know that if someone overheard-- if someone found out…” Richie trailed off, hoping that Stan had gotten the message.

 

“I get it. Bill has 100% no idea, does he? Yet, did that stop me from telling you and the others? No, it didn't.”

 

Richie felt like shit. Utter, useless shit. "Well, I know that, but I--"

 

“Mr. Uris! Mr. Tozier!” Both of the boys flinched and turned their head to look at the teacher. “This is a silent hour. Therefore, no talking. Return to your work.”

 

Richie *silently* rolled his eyes and turned back to his seat. He sat there for a moment, drumming his fingers on the counter, before deciding to pull out his binder. He tore a sheet of notebook paper out and picked up his pen.

 

**I’ll tell you.**

 

He folded the paper up and casually leaned back in his chair, dropping the note onto Stan’s desk. Stan picked it up instantly, and Richie moved himself back forward. He stared at the blank worksheet in front of him with dread. _This is the last thing I need to do right now._ He gazed to his wrist, where the bracelet laid. It was funny, that’s what it was. Everything was fine before this came into his life. Now everything was confusing. Yet, in a strange way, Richie wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

 

The paper was tossed onto his desk, and Richie grabbed it. He unfolded it, quickly.

 

_I don’t want to force you. I’m just a bit annoyed with it, that’s all. You’re not one to keep secrets._

 

Richie wondered how Stan’s handwriting was so tidy. Stan had OCD, sure, but how was it humanly possible to be this neat?

 

**You’re right. Keeping secrets is too hard.**

 

_You don’t have to do this. I’m sorry._

 

**It’s Eddie. I love Eddie, okay?**

 

_I knew it!!! I KNEW IT!!! I KNEW IT ALL ALONG! YES THANK YOU JESUS CHRIST_

 

**Aren’t you jewish?**

 

_You spoiled the moment, asshole. Thanks_

 

**There. So I guess I better tell the others. AGAIN. :(**

 

_That’s your fault, I’ll admit it. But what are you going to do now?_

 

**I am 120% ready NOT to tell him. Sorry, but I’m not. Besides, he doesn’t he have his bracelet. Why would he love me anyway?**

 

_He’ll get it one day. Ugh, I knew it was him!!!_

 

**What made you think it was him?**

 

_Let’s just say that my suspicions were confirmed when I looked under the table earlier. At lunch._

 

**??**

 

_Maybe if you don’t want to be bullied for being gay, maybe you shouldn’t have been holding hands in the cafeteria._

 

**YOU SAW THAT????**

 

_I think I’m the only one. I didn’t mean to. I just dropped my water bottle and saw it. I won’t tell, I promise._

 

**Please tell me that you’re NOT going to blackmail me.**

 

_Depends. What are my options?_

 

**I will approach Bill and offer to say who your crush is. ;)**

 

 _I won’t. I could at any moment, but I won’t. I have direct sources to Eddie, so play your cards right_.

 

**You’re scaring me. A tad. Anyway, so when should I let everyone else know? I’m telling Bill tonight, for sure.**

 

_Leave me out of it. Don’t tell him that you told me. He might get upset. You ARE his best friend. I’d also wait a bit for everyone else. They’re about to have a lot to comprehend anyways._

 

**What? Is there more news?**

 

_No?_

 

**What?**

 

_Nevermind._

 

**I feel bad hiding things from them. I hate this.**

 

_Don’t we all? It just has to be this way for now._

 

The bell suddenly rang, and everyone stood up, eager to leave the classroom. Richie balled up the note and gathered his books up. Stan had already packed his things up, and waited for Richie near his desk. “Maybe if you admitted it earlier, we wouldn’t have this problem.”

 

“You’re the one to talk.” Richie smirked as he picked up the stack of books. “It took you weeks to admit that you liked Bill."

 

“True, but I confessed right away when I got my bracelet.” Stan pointed at Richie with a grin. “So that leaves you.”

 

“We’re in the same boat when it comes to confessing to who we like.”

 

“Who we love, Richie.” Stan smiled, punching him in the arm. “It’s who we love.”

  
...

 

“I knew it! I called it!” Bill cheered, drumming his hands on Richie’s backpack. “Show me the money!”

 

“Nobody uses that phrase,” Mike pointed out, slapping the back of Bill’s head.

 

“Mike’s got a point. You’re the only one obsessed with that stupid TV show. Nobody understands the phrases from it.” Richie agreed, nodding his head. “Except us, because you forced us to watch it.”

 

“Shut up, both of you.” Bill groaned, “Richie loves Eddie!”

 

“Say it louder next time, will ya?” Richie hissed, kicking Bill in the shin. “I told you and Mike, not the whole world.”

 

“I’m not really that surprised. You’re very…” Mike paused and chuckled. “Attached to him, I guess.”

 

“Well, obviously.” Bill grinned as Richie raised an eyebrow. “You can’t separate them at all. They’re practically already dating.”

 

“Oh, so like you and Stan?” Richie asked with a smirk. Mike burst out laughing as Bill repeatedly hit Richie in the shoulder. “Hey, don’t bruise me up!”

 

“Why? Is that Eddie’s job?” Bill replied slyly, as Richie playfully shoved Bill out of his chair. “See, Mike, this is why you are my favorite uncle. You aren’t hurtful.”

 

“I feel honored,” Mike gushed, getting out of his seat and kneeling down. “How may I ever repay you?”

 

“Just keep your peace, Mikey.” Richie smiled and got out of his seat. He glanced at his watch. 3:08pm. Two more minutes until freedom.

 

“You know, Eddie might confess that he likes you at the hill.” Bill brought himself back up, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. “Maybe that’s why he wants you to go.”

 

“What?” Richie giggled a little, at the thought. “No, no. I don’t think so.”

 

“No, Bill might be right. It’s just you and him. Jeffrey's Hill is your place. We never go up there, and it’s just you two.” Mike explained, picking up his bag. “It’s obvious that he likes you.”

 

“Now you guys are just making things up,” Richie chuckled, adjusting the straps on his bookbag. “I don’t think he does, although I want him to.”

 

“Oh, please. He’s blushing every single time he talks to you.” Bill rolled his eyes.

 

“He stares at you. A LOT.” Mike grinned to Bill. “He probably thinks about you a lot, too.”

 

“Since when have you guys become so sassy? That’s my job.” Richie raised an eyebrow, trying to ignore the heat collecting in his cheeks. “Dammit, you’re messing me up. I need to be as calm as possible before I see him!”

 

“I thought you had tuba practice?” Bill asked suddenly.

 

“I do.” Richie sighed. “Ugh, I don’t know. I’m a bit stressed.”

 

That feeling stayed within Richie. He was stressed during tuba practice. He hadn’t performed as well as he usually did, but his teacher, Mr. Ramirez, was very forgiving. The practice had ended a lot quicker than Richie thought, and before he knew it, he was back home. Richie had started to pace around in his living room. _It better not be bad. Please, god, do NOT let it be bad news. If has to do with Mrs. K, I might have to knock the wind out of her._ Richie sighed heavily. Richie biked over there around 5:20. He wanted to be there early, so he could panic some more in private.

 

It was weird. The two of them started hanging out at Jeffrey's Hill in a strange way. Richie went over there to be alone most of the time. It was weird, how deserted it was. The hill had a small little stone wall, which was maybe about four feet tall. Beyond the wall is a small hill into a meadow. Jeffrey’s Hill was such a quiet, peaceful area. He didn’t understand why more people didn't hang out there. When Richie mentioned it to the losers for the first time, most of them had no idea what it even was. Well, everyone except… take a wild guess.

 

One day, after Richie had an enormous fight with his parents, he had come here for comfort. Mainly time for himself. He had been twelve years old, a year before ‘the summer’ (meaning that he hadn’t met Ben, Beverly, or Mike yet). That’s when he spotted Eddie, sitting on the stone wall, crying. See, he was friends with Eddie. They weren’t necessarily close. They’d been simple acquaintances. Richie had been best friends with Bill, and Eddie had been best friends with Stan. Richie and Bill used to do their own thing, but one day, Richie was introduced to Stan. Since Eddie had pretty much been connected to Stan 24/7, Richie met him too. That’s how their group started.

 

Richie didn’t want to be an ass. He didn’t want to ignore the kid crying over there, especially since it was one of his friends. So what he did was simple enough: he went over to Eddie, sat down, and asked what was wrong. That was the moment they became real friends. They both sat there for hours, complaining about their parents. It was something that Eddie used to call ‘a pity bond’. Eddie doesn’t call it that anymore, which was fine with Richie, because he didn’t exactly agree with it.

 

There Richie sat, in the same spot where he’s always sat in. He wasn’t really sure what Eddie had wanted to talk to him about. It had to be something that was somewhat bad. _For God’s sake, he was literally crying that day!_ He nervously tapped his foot against the wall. Richie glanced at his bracelet, and fixed his gaze on it. It really was nice to look at. Every time he looked at it, it felt like butterflies were in his stomach.

 

_I swear to god, it better be him. I don’t want it another way._

 

“Hey.” Eddie greeted softly, hopping over the wall. “You’re here early.”

  
“So it seems,” Richie grinned, scooting over a bit. Eddie sat down and crossed his legs. Richie had gotten a good look at him. He had an oversized pink sweater on, black gym shorts, and his white tennis shoes. He had ankle socks on, red stripes covering them. Richie was pretty sure that he wasn’t wearing that sweater earlier.

 

“Well, I guess it’s my turn to talk now.” Eddie sighed gently, and paused. “Uh… last weekend… I was on the phone with Stan.”

 

“Okay,” Richie brought his legs up to his stomach. He knew something in this little story was about to go wrong. No point in joking around.

 

“And we were talking about… things.” Eddie hesitated. “Mainly about the bracelets, I guess. I… I accidentally said something that I wasn’t 100% ready to say.” Eddie shifted uncomfortably and looked in the opposite direction of him.

 

“Hey, we don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to.” Richie whispered, putting a hand on Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie looked back at him, then quickly down at his feet.

 

“No, I want to.” Eddie assured quietly. “So anyway… I knew I’d have to fully admit it, so I rode over to Stan’s. I… I was so scared, Richie. I wasn’t sure what he’d think… That’s why… why I was crying.”

 

“Why were you so afraid?” Richie asked, tilting his head forward. “What… what was it?” Eddie had this expression on his face that he couldn’t quite read. It had looked mainly anxious, but for some reason… a little relieved? _Oh dear god, what could it be? If he has to move, I will actually fucking die._

 

“Richie…” Eddie took in a deep breath and looked at him straight in the eyes. “I’m gay.”

 

“What?” Richie blinked, not entirely sure that he had heard him right. “What did you just say?”

  
“I’m gay.” Eddie echoed, quieter this time. Eddie had stared back at his shoes again. Richie felt an overwhelming feeling of happiness and felt a grin grow onto his face. _Thank god. Oh my god, thank you. He’s okay. He’s fine. He… he… wait. WAIT. Does this mean I actually have a chance with him??_

  
Richie pushed those thoughts away and focused on Eddie completely, who had brushed away a tear. “Are you alright?” Richie asked in alarm.

 

“Sorry, sorry. I’m fine,” Eddie took a shaky sigh and looked at Richie. His eyes were a bit red. “I guess I’m still getting used to saying it out loud.”

 

“Eddie, listen to me,” Richie began, pulling himself together. Eddie’s facial expression had turned into surprise. “I… You don’t have to be scared anymore. I completely get what you’re feeling. You don’t need to be afraid of your friends. They’ll accept who you are no matter what, and if they don’t accept you, then they’re not good friends to have in your life.”

 

“I know that, believe me. I just… there was that feeling in the back of my head… that you’ll hate me. That everyone will. I didn’t want Stan, or you, or anyone to leave me behind. If that makes any sense at all.”

 

 _Oh, did it make perfect sense._ That was Richie’s whole thought process summarized into one sentence. Richie’s greatest fear. _Mom and Dad forget, sure, but I don’t want the others to forget me._  I don’t want to be fucking left in the dirt.

 

“Of course it does. I’ll admit it to you, Eddie, that not everyone is going to have the same opinion as you. People don’t always agree with each other. It doesn’t matter how big or small the opinion is, someone is always bound to disagree.” Richie explained calmly. “People especially don’t see eye to eye on gay rights. Remember what happened in July?”

 

“With Bill Clinton? Oh, I fucking remember.” Eddie rolled his eyes. Last month, Bill Clinton announced the policy called “Don’t Ask; Don’t Tell”. The policy basically stated that any person part of the LGBT community, who had also been in the army, had been banned. They could not serve in the armed forces no longer. Officials said that the bill would be finalized towards the end of the year. Richie had seen it on television the day of, and burst into tears right then and there. _What has our world come to?_

 

“My point,” Richie continued, trying to remain calm. “Is that not a ton of people approve of this. If our president wants to be that way, so be it. If Derry wants to be stuck-up assholes about it, let them be. They can’t change who you are. If you want to date a guy, why can’t you? Why should YOU be punished for living?”

 

Richie stopped and felt bad for ranting. Eddie stared at her with wide eyes. “Do you really mean all of that?”

 

“It’s so unfair. How long have you kept it in? How long have you known?” Richie asked.

 

“About four years.”

 

“See? That is complete, utter bullshit.” Richie huffed. He took in a deep breath and exhaled. “Sorry, Eddie. I’m not mad at you at all. I think it’s just so unfair that we can’t be ourselves.”

 

“You’re very passionate about this.” Eddie grinned weakly. “So… this is alright?”

 

“Yes, Eddie. If anyone gives you shit about it, let me know. I’ll claw their fucking face off. You have the right to be who you are, and I’m not gonna let some callywack ruin your-”

 

“Callywack? What in the world are--” Eddie broke off into a giggle. Richie tried not to blush from his laugher (which big surprise, was cute).

 

“Blah, you know what I mean.” Richie lovingly ruffled his hair. “Isn’t this weird? We come out on the same exact day?”

 

“You stole my thunder, idiot!” Eddie smiled, lightly punching him in the arm. “I wanted to come out first! I guess you beat me to it, though.”

 

“So who else knows?” Richie asked, more serious. “If Stan knows, he did a good job hiding it. At lunch he didn’t do a single way. He fooled me.”

 

  
“Well, he’s the only one that does know. You too, I guess.” Eddie titled his back to look up at the sky. “Did I make it THAT obvious? Stan said that he had a hunch.”

 

“Well… there’s a difference in suspecting and knowing. I suspected it but it’s still surprising.” Richie had no idea what he was talking about. He had PRAYED that Eddie was gay, but he didn’t really suspect it until that afternoon.

 

“I haven’t come out to the others yet. It’s getting easier, but I always get really freaked out before it.” Eddie sighed. “Anyway, that’s what I really needed to tell you.”

 

“I’m just so proud of you.”

 

“Proud? Why?”

 

“That you’re out. That you don’t have to keep it in anymore.” Eddie blinked and abruptly wrapped his arms around Richie. Richie brought his arms around him impulsively, resting his hands onto his shoulders. He felt Eddie take a shaky breath, followed by a choked hiccup.

 

“I don’t… I c-can’t…” Eddie started to sob into the crook of Richie’s neck. Richie reassuringly rubbed Eddie’s shoulder, trying to comfort him. Eddie tightened his grip onto Richie’s shirt, which he had been clutching onto.

 

“Shhh. It’s okay.” Richie soothed in a hushed tone. Eddie sniffed quietly and loosened his hold on the shirt. “It’s okay to let it out, Eddie.”

 

That made Eddie start to cry again, making him bury his head deeper into Richie’s collarbone. It broke Richie’s heart, hearing him like this. Eddie was typically one who didn’t cry. It didn’t matter if people thought he was weak or pitiful or whatever. He’s dealt with a lot in his life. His father dying at such an early age and his overbearing mother constantly clawed him in the back. Yet, he always seemed to keep his head high and trudge through it. He’d talk if he needed to (which Richie admitted was becoming a lot more frequent these days) but he rarely cried. He rarely broke down like this.

 

This must have been something that’s pressured him. _Four years? How did he hide it so well? Why did he do that to himself?_ Eddie gradually stopped weeping. Richie could feel the tears stained on the back of his shirt. He held Eddie into his arms, keeping a secure hold on him. Eddie sniffed, but he kept his head on Richie’s collarbone.

 

“Sorry. I really am.” Eddie mumbled, his voice muffled against Richie’s skin.

 

“Don’t be.” Richie whispered softly. “I don’t care.” Eddie finally dragged his head off of him but he stayed close to Richie. His arms were still around him. Richie didn’t mind at all.

 

“I appreciate you listening to me,” Eddie praised quietly, a small smile parting on his lips. Richie felt his heart explode. Everything that was happening was starting to set in. If Richie leaned in, their noses could brush up against each other. They could kiss at any moment.

 

Richie grinned lightly. “Thank you for trusting me enough to listen.” Eddie had slightly tilted his head, and Richie started to lean in. This is it. Here we go. The sky was slowly darkening as the sun slowly lowered. It was beautiful; the colors across the sky were like a watercolor painting. They all smoothly blended together, and the clouds nicely complimented the setting. Nothing could top what was in front of him, though. Eddie’s cheeks had begun to glow a bright red, somehow making his freckles more distinct. Wisps of hair had fallen into his face. Dammit, he’s so gorgeous.

 

“Well, well, well! Look at that!” The sickeningly familiar voice stung in Richie’s ears. Eddie scrambled off of him, and Richie knew that whatever moment they had was over. “I didn’t know that fags hang out here!”

 

Of course; it was Steven Fratter that ruined everything. Fratter was one of the followers in Henry Bower’s group. He had practically worshipped the ground that Bowers walked on, and did whatever he needed to do to please him. Richie, of course, hated them all. Every last one of the braindead goons in that group, who didn’t stop until the loser’s day sucked. However, Henry disappeared, and after he feel down that well four years ago, that cluster mainly disbanded.

 

Fratter was furious. He ranted and swore that they needed to follow Henry’s ways and if they didn’t, they weren’t true to their purpose. Richie never quite grasped what that meant. The bottom line was that Fratter had roped two other kids into his little group. He didn’t recognize them, so they had to be younger. Steven did all he could to make people’s lives miserable. His specialty just so happened to be homophobic remarks. Didn’t matter what your preference was, his go-to move was to call you ‘gay’. Richie wasn’t afraid of this guy. He thought that he was the shit, and that everyone was just scared of him. Richie thought he was a nuisance, and always made that clear to him. He stepped in if his friends were being pestered by him.

 

Which is why Richie got six detentions and one suspension last year.

 

“Oh, hey,” Richie grinned. “I didn’t know you go outside. What a decent fucking surprise!”

 

Eddie shot Richie a strange look. Richie knew what he was doing. He never tangoed with Bowers like this; it was special treatment, just for Fratter. It was always a simple routine: Richie mouthed Steven, and he’d either back off or attempt to fight him (which was becoming more common now).

 

“So, this is what you do? Make out at this dump?” Steven popped the ‘p’ in ‘dump’. He looked over to the two kids behind him. “We better come over here more often,”

 

“It’s actually a nice place. Well… it was before YOU got here.” Richie rolled his eyes.

 

“Oh shit!” He looked at Eddie, who openly flinched. “This is your fuck-buddy? Are you friends with benefits or are you official? Wait no-- you’re that kid who can’t breathe. I guess I can call him the faggot that can’t breathe, huh?”

 

Eddie’s clenched his fist into a ball but said nothing. Steven’s always rubbed Richie the wrong way. Richie can take whatever verbal bullshit flew out of his mouth. Anything pushed at him he could handle. But this? Eddie just came out to him five minutes before and he had the audacity to show up and ridicule him for it? He’s braver than you’ll ever be. You’re not going to do a thing to him.

 

“Watch what you say there.” Richie hopped off the wall and leaned against it. “You might regret something.”

 

“Aww, how sweet. I had no idea Tozier was such a homo. Right, guys?” He smirked as he turned his head over to the two other boys. They both silently nodded. “Maybe we should teach the short faggot what he’s really all about.”

 

“Let’s not jump to conclusions, asswipe. You don’t know half of what’s going on,” Richie growled. He glanced back at Eddie who was staring at him with his eyebrows furrowed.

 

“I’m not! It’s pretty evident about what’s going on here.”

 

“You know what? You act like you’ve got big balls but we all know that you’re scared. All you are is a knock-off Henry Bowers. I bet if he were here, he’d think you were a pussy.”

 

Steven’s smirk slid off his face. He intently glared at Richie, who returned the gaze back. “Oh? Is that so?” Steven crossed his arms, not breaking the eye contact. “Is that what you think?”

 

“It’s the truth, ain’t it?” Richie asked sharply, starting to grin. He had clearly hit a nerve.

 

“I heard you, the other day. What’d you call him? Eds?” Steven scoffed at the name, and Richie raised an eyebrow. He dropped his grin. Steven looked over at Eddie. “Well, Eds, I hope you have fun with your queer.”

 

He was about to laugh when Richie had stomped towards him and punched him on the right side of his jaw. Hard. Steven stumbled back, slurring out swears, with his hands going straight to his jaw. Richie stared at him, boiling with rage. Steven stood up, spit some blood out of his mouth, and smirked.

 

“You don’t like that, do you?” He gazed at Eddie, staring at them both in horror. “Hey, he doesn’t like it when I call you Eds!”

 

“I’ll fucking kill you!” Richie screamed, running over and raising his fist. He was punched right in the collarbone, where Eddie had been crying earlier. Only I can call him that. Richie had been faltered for a slight second. Steven pointed to Eddie, who had now leaped up from his spot.

 

“Hold the other one! Don’t let go of him!” Steven shouted as Richie had kicked him in the shin. The two other boys rushed over to Eddie, grabbing him by the arms.

 

“Don’t touch me! Stop! Let me go right now!” Eddie protested, struggling against them. The boys had nervous expressions but said nothing. Steven stood back up and punched Richie in the lip. A hand shot up to try and relieve the pain. Richie was actually afraid that he might lose this. The first fight he might lose. Steven was starting to gain on him. He hopelessly glimpsed at Eddie and saw that he was fighting against the boys. He kept shooting his arms in different directions, desperately trying to free himself.  
_No. I’m not going to lose this._

 

Richie stood back up and yanked the collar of Steven’s shirt. Richie roughly slung him onto the ground. As Steven was falling, he dug his nails into Richie’s leg. He kicked him off and drew his arm back. He punched him right in the nose and Steven recoiled, trying to lift himself up. He checked to see if his nose was broken. The cartilage right between his eyes was snapped in half, and Richie didn’t feel sorry about it for a single minute. He knelt down next to him, looking at him dead in the eyes.

 

“Apologize to him,” Richie ordered harshly, nodding into Eddie’s direction. Steven laid there for a moment, his eyes fixated on Richie. They were soft at first, but then they became a cold stare. Richie didn’t want to trust whatever was about to happen.

 

“Let me up, then I will.” Steven offered, his tone changing completely. Richie was about to say something when he felt an abrupt feeling of excruciating pain in his jaw. Richie hunched over not because it hurt, but because he actually expected that Steven would do it.

 

 _Stupid! I’m so FUCKING stupid. Why in the almighty damn universe did I trust him??_ Steven pushed him to the ground, causing Richie to hit his head. He heard a frightened gasp and cursing, both muffled by the dirt below him. Richie moved his head back to face Steven, but that proved to be a mistake. Steven had violently scratched him, flicking his wrist to repeat the action. He did this before Richie kicked him off of him. His mouth suddenly tasted of metallic. _Great. I’m bleeding._

 

Richie gazed over at Eddie to see that he was pulling much more of a fiercer fight. The boys seemed to be struggling more with Eddie instead of the opposite. Richie faced back to Steven and see that he was pretty bruised up himself. Good. That’s what you deserve. Richie went to raise another fist, trying to ignore the constant aches in his body. Steven stepped forward when suddenly Eddie was in between them.

 

“Stop!” Eddie yelled. He stood in front of Richie, staring at Steven. He was pretty damn shocked. “Steven, leave us alone. Please,” Eddie pled, his voice cracking on the last word.

 

Steven sat there for a moment. His eyes silently trailed to Richie’s. They stared at each other, malice lacing their gaze. Heavy silence filled the air. Steven scoffed, balling his hands into fists, and looked at the other boys. “Let’s go. I don't have all day to deal with _their_ kind.”

 

With that, Steven limped away, not forgetting to murmur some choice words. The other two boys followed behind, their tail between their legs. Richie watched them go, clenching his teeth, before whimpering in pain. Eddie finally turned around to face Richie. He eyed him slowly for a minute, and clicked his tongue.

 

“I’m sorry. I cannot stand for his bullshit.” Richie apologized quietly. He looked down and adjusted his glasses (thank god they weren’t broken).

 

“Why are you sorry? That was fucking amazing.” Eddie genuinely smiled, putting his hands behind his back. “I had to stop him. I couldn’t stand seeing you beat up.”

 

“Too late. Being a hero has a price,” Richie grinned, putting a hand over his head dramatically. “Oh, whatever shall I do?”

 

“You’re so stupid, Richie.” Eddie shook his head, starting to grin. “Now, let’s do something about your injuries.”

 

o

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hghhhhhhh. I know that was a lot to process! 
> 
> No sneak peek for the next chapter. I don't want to reveal to much of the story just yet. 
> 
> Thank you for the continuous support of this fic!! I can't believe I uploaded THREE chapters this week. It's so amazing that people actually like reading it! :]


	7. Chapter Seven

  
It was the least he could do.

 

After Richie pretty much beating the ever-living shit out of Steven Fratter, what more could Eddie do? Eddie couldn’t break in and help or stop it at first, since the two boys had grabbed onto him. _Oh, you think you’re so important. You were idling by moments ago, agreeing with everything he said. You’re a pawn to his game, assholes._ Eddie had, of course, put up a fight so he could get away. Believe it or not, the boys had kept an extremely firm hold on him.

 

Eddie almost gave up. He had almost given up right then and there, but he saw something that changed his mind. Richie had been punched square in the jaw, and was pushed against the ground. His head the ground immediately, and Eddie let out a sound of pure panic. _He could seriously be hurt! Oh my god, he could have a concussion or something!_ He slammed his shoulder into the boy on his left, who instantly flinched. The boy on his right went to hold him with both of his hands, but Eddie kicked him in the shin. This caused him to withdraw, freeing Eddie.

 

It didn’t matter. He prevented any more damage that could be done to Richie. He stopped Richie from getting into any more trouble. Steven retreated, but the hurt had already been done. There Richie stood, bruised from head to toe. His jaw had already turned a dark purple, and scratches covered his cheeks. Eddie kept staring at him in wonder.

 

_Oh god. Why does he look so hot like that?_

 

They didn’t say anything else for a moment. Which was fine with Eddie, because he was dealing with something else entirely different. His heart, which was now pounding against his chest, had also made him feel a new sensation. It was familiar, yes, but also somewhat unusual. The feeling was more intensified than usual.

 

_No. It can’t be. It wasn’t possible. There’s no way that this can happen to me._

 

Oh, but it had. Eddie knew deep down inside that it was happening. All of these years, he’d felt that something was missing. It always seemed like he had been lacking something important. Everyday, he had felt it in his stomach. He couldn’t put his finger on what it could be. He wondered endlessly what he could be missing from his life. It eventually got to the point where Eddie shrugged it off. That missing piece of him was always in the back of his mind, but what more could he do?

 

Well, it had finally fallen into place. Eddie wasn’t stupid. Eddie knew that whatever feeling of emptiness he had felt just a few minutes prior had completely vanished. He wanted to feel this way for so long. What Eddie was having trouble with was accepting it. _There was **no** way that this could be happening. There has to be a logical explanation-- I’m sure of it. Eddie had the incredible urge to grab his inhaler and take a whiff of clean air. This can’t be. **It can’t be!**_

 

_“That night, I felt it right in my heart, right at that moment.”_

 

Stan’s advice had entered his mind. It seemed like ages ago when he last heard it. It was right after Eddie came out to him… and asked about love. Eddie glanced at Richie, who was studying his knuckles. Eddie silently gasped and put a hand over his chest. It wasn’t his stomach that was empty. It had been his heart; the piece that he was missing for an extremely long time had fallen into place. What Stan had been talking about had clicked. He knew exactly what Stan was referring to.

 

Eddie was in love, dammit.

 

“Hey, Eds?” Richie’s voice broke into Eddie’s thoughts, slightly startling him. “I think I can handle it. The bruises, I mean.”

 

“What? No way. Those look pretty bad.” Eddie lightly shook his head, and eyed his knuckles. “Holy shit.”

 

“It looks worse than it actually is.” Richie assured. Eddie didn’t listen, taking one of Richie’s hands. He brought it closer to his face, so it would be easier to inspect. His knuckles were heavily bruised, appearing to be extremely red. Richie winced as Eddie ran his thumb over them. Some of the skin had been torn off. It looked extremely painful.

 

“Yeah. Alright, I’m gonna patch you up.” Eddie confided, dropping his hand. “We might need to do this at your house since mom is still home. She’ll kill you first, and then me.”

 

“No, no. I’m fine, I swear.” Richie laughed. “Just because I looked a little banged up doesn’t mean I’m--”

 

“Shut up. I’m helping you, and I don’t care what you say. You clearly need it.” Eddie interjected. He started walking to his bike. “It’s all I can really do for you.”  
Richie sighed. “Fine. You’ve got me. Just know that my parents aren’t home, so that’s alright.” He followed Eddie to their bikes.

 

“They left you alone? Again?” Eddie asked, lifting up his kickstand. “How long for? Like three hours?”

 

“More like two weeks. They always leave me alone. Not a big deal.” Richie hopped onto his bike. “I shall lead the way.” Eddie took that as his que to stop talking. They both knew that Richie’s parents were a sore subject for him. The ride would give him time to himself.

 

_I wonder what my bracelet will look like?_

 

-

Eddie stomped upstairs, dragging Richie behind him. “Where’s your first-aid kit?” Eddie asked, stopping suddenly. Richie almost fell forward, then caught himself on the banister. Richie hesitated and Eddie groaned. “Oh, for crying out loud. Okay, go to the bathroom. I’ll go try and find this thing.”

 

Before Richie could protest, Eddie was already down the stairs and in the kitchen. He threw open cabinets, desperately searching for something to use. He was praying that there would be a medical cabinet, but it didn’t seem like it was down there. Shit. Eddie opened the doors under the sink, and spotted a red bag towards the back. He shoved bottles and whatever clutter laid there, obtaining the bag. When he saw the white cross stitched on the side, he lightly set it down next to him. He put all the random litter back into the cabinet and rushed upstairs.

 

“You guys need to organize your shit more often.” Eddie announced as he entered the bathroom. Richie was studying his fingernails, sitting on the counter. Eddie dropped the mini-kit and unclipped his fanny pack. “I could barely find the first aid kit in all that junk.”

 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Richie claimed as he looked down at Eddie, who was pulling things out of his fanny pack. Bandages, random little bottles, strange little packets and small boxes. When Eddie pulled out some obscure-looking scissors, Richie sighed. “I hope you’re not going to operate on me. That’s not what I agreed on.”

 

  
“Shut up, asshole. I’m looking for-- ah, here it is.” Eddie pulled out a miniature blue bag. He hit it against the corner of the counter, causing it to make a quiet pop. Eddie giggled as Richie eyed it suspiciously. “It’s an instant cold pack; it works just as good as normal ice. Now I’m gonna put it on your jaw,”

 

“Alright.” Richie awkwardly scooted over to make room for Eddie. He climbed onto the counter and lightly touched his jaw, where the bruise had been the darkest. Richie naturally flinched, slightly moving away. Eddie shook the ice pack to make sure it was cold, hearing it’s contents scrape along the bag. He decided that it was cool enough, and moved it onto his jaw. For a brief moment, neither of them said a word. They both just sat there quietly on the counter, shifting eye contact.

 

“Why did you do that? Why were you so… careless?” Eddie regretted saying it as soon as the word left his mouth. It sounded insensitive. Richie hesitated for a second, making Eddie feel worse.

 

“Well… okay, you’re right. I was a bit careless, but I wasn’t trying to be. He just infuriates the shit out of me.” Richie sighed heavily. “He was saying horrible things and mocking you, which was extremely disrespectful. I can’t let him do that to you, so I… wanted to get the facts straight.”

 

“But…look at what he did to you!”

 

“Well, sometimes…” Richie paused briefly, drumming his fingers on the table. “You just need to take risks, I guess. Besides, I’ll gladly put him in his place again.”

 

Eddie felt like he was gonna fall off the counter from swooning. _Oh my god, did he really mean that? I hope so._ “Thank you. Really. Hold onto this for a second?” Eddie held onto it as Richie brought his hand to the ice pack. Their hands softly grazed over one another, and Eddie dropped off of the counter. He went directly to his fanny pack, trying to ignore his heart’s beating, and looking for something else.

 

“What else are you looking for, Eds?” Richie asked. Eddie grinned a little bit as Richie called him that. He used to despise the nickname, but it’s grown on him. Something that Eddie has secretly loved, even if he denied it. He cleared his throat and pulled out a tube of some cream.

 

“Well, something for those scratches. Which is concerning if I don’t treat them, because they might get infected. Infections can lead to loads of problems, and the biggest one could be tetanus. It all starts as muscle spasms which can prevent your jaw from functioning properly. You’re supposed to get a vaccine for it every ten years, but mom said those don’t always work. She also said that you can’t open your mouth, and you won’t be able to talk anymore.” Eddie stopped, realizing how idiotic he must of sounded. “In other words, I’m giving you hydrocortisone cream. You can never be too safe.”

 

“I feel like you inform me about tetanus every single time I get hurt. Not that I mind, because I don’t.” Richie affirmed. Eddie resumed his spot on the counter, dabbing some cream onto his fingers. Eddie went to rub some of it on one of the biggest scratches on his cheek. As soon as Eddie touched his face, Richie jumped. “Sorry, sorry. It’s just cold,”

 

“It’s okay. Just try to be still, alright?” Eddie smiled reassuringly. Richie silently nodded and Eddie continued. Luckily the claw marks weren’t that deep, in reality they just looked bad. The only one that was concerning was a small scratch on the top of his nose. Small, yes, but it appeared to be slit pretty deep. “Shit.”

 

“It doesn’t hurt!” Richie protested as Eddie coated the spot with cream. Eddie scanned his face, checking to see if he missed anymore marks. That’s when he observed that Richie’s lip was terribly busted. As much as Eddie stares at Richie’s lips, he didn’t seem to notice this before now. Eddie muttered a curse, as he smeared some more cream onto his fingers. Richie must of immediately realized where he was going next, because he laughed. “Hey, I can do that part if you want me to.”

 

“I better do it. I’m not 100% sure you know what you’re doing. That was pretty evident from you provoking Steven, even though he deserved it.” Eddie responded. Eddie was not about to pass up the opportunity to touch his lips. He was sure that they were going to kiss earlier, but Steven showed up, being the little cock-block he is. Eddie had no proof that it was going to happen, and he’s pretty sure it’ll never happen again. For now, this was the closest he’ll ever get to his lips. “Don’t move, okay?”

 

Eddie leaned forward, making it easier for him to access his lips. A small portion of his bottom lip had been covered with dried blood. Surprisingly, the rest of Richie’s lips were actually extremely smooth. Eddie nervously slathered the cream onto his lip, covering the blood. Richie stayed perfectly still (for once). Eddie was painfully aware of how close their faces were to each other. If Richie moved forward maybe an inch, he could kiss his forehead.

 

He used to think that kissing was repulsive. _How would anyone WILLINGLY share saliva like that?_ Eddie refused to think about it at all times. Even when he started to develop a crush on Richie, he avoided the thought. Recently however… Eddie couldn’t stop thinking about it. He constantly pictured himself, cupping Richie’s face, lightly pressing his lips against his. It was a fantasy that Eddie slowly wanted to become a reality. _Fuck, why do I like him so much?_

 

Eddie finally pulled back, and studied Richie’s face. He did his best he could to ignore the butterflies fluttering around in his stomach. Eddie picked up a box of bandages and pulled one out. “Just to be safe.” Eddie pulled back the paper and stuck it on top of the scratch on his nose.

 

Richie turned around to examine himself in the mirror. “I’m still smokin’.” Richie laughed and Eddie grinned. “Whaddya say, Dr. K? Do you agree?”

 

“Meh. Now, some of your injuries I can’t help with. Like you’ll probably be sore tomorrow. I can’t help with that.” Eddie explained softly as he started to put the supplies away. “All you can really do is keep an ice pack on that jaw, and just get some sleep.”

  
Richie groaned. “Do I have to? Sleeping is for losers.”

 

“Who are you fooling? You are a loser, idiot.” Eddie rolled his eyes. “Take some benadryl if your insomnia creeps on you tonight. It’ll kick in real quick.”

 

“You sound like a drug dealer.” Richie snorted, lifting himself off the counter. “I’m pretty sure I used the last of it too. What should I do if I can’t sleep?”

 

He paused. Eddie didn’t deal with insomnia as nearly as much as Richie did. He used to have a prescription for it, that Eddie used to pick up for him weekly. The prescription was eventually withdrawn, but Richie still dealt with it frequently. Most of the time it was nothing he could prevent-- usually his emotions was the ultimate factor. “I don’t deal with it nearly as much as you do, Rich. I don’t really know.”

 

“Well, think about it. What would you do if you couldn’t sleep?” Richie asked, more seriously this time. “My sleep’s been on and off. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. So what should I do if I’m struggling to fall asleep? Count sheep?”

 

  
“What I do is…” Eddie hesitated. He wasn’t sure what to really say here. It was embarrassing, but when he couldn’t sleep, he’d think. Think about life. Think about the losers. Think about college. Think about his mother. Think about health. Think about Richie. Yeah, he’s been thinking about Richie a lot nowadays.

 

He remembered last Friday. It had just been one of those nights were Eddie couldn’t get comfortable. Sure, he was tired. It was the night where all of the losers went roller-skating. He tossed and turned, the hours passing as slow as possible. He almost threw his pillow across the room in pure frustration. He absolutely **despised** not getting enough sleep. Eddie was always cranky if he had less than eight hours of sleep. Eddie repositioned himself and just tried to think of something-- anything. It always tired him out. College applications? Fuck that, too stressful. School? No, that’s worse.

 

Then the image came to him. Earlier that day in science, there was a quiet hour, so the students could catch up on their work. Simple enough, but Eddie couldn’t focus on his textbook. His gaze kept traveling across the room, landing on Richie. It appeared that he was actually working on something, frantically writing on a piece of notebook paper. His dark curls kept falling into his eyes, which he’d brush away from time to time. Eddie nibbled on his eraser every time this occurred, because it was easier to see his face. Richie would occasionally glance up, and Eddie would violently turn his attention back down to his paper. He wasn’t about to be caught staring at him.

 

Once the bell rang, Richie made a direct beeline for Eddie’s direction. He didn’t say a single word. He passed by the desk and slid a sticky note onto the desk. Eddie gave him a raised eyebrow, but was greeted by that smile of his. That familiar smile that made Eddie blush. That smile that messed Eddie up inside. He strutted off and Eddie opened the paper.

 

_I’m excited for later. I hope you’re as good at skating as you say you are. I’ve got sick moves I’m gonna lay on you and mike. Anyway, if you’re trash or pretty decent at it, you’ll always be cute. See you later, spaghetti!  
-Trashmouth♥️_

 

Eddie felt his breaths start to slow. He nuzzled his head into the pillow softly. It didn’t take him too long to fall asleep after that. He had woken up the next morning, pleasantly refreshed. It was strange, sure. Whenever he thought of Richie, he had felt a fuzzy feeling. It always made him a bit warm, and he had gotten a bit giddy about it.

 

“I guess I just about things that make me happy.”

-

 

“Wait, _WHAT_?” Stan asked sharply, and Beverly gave an overwhelmingly joyful squeal. “You said you did _**WHAT**_?”

  
Eddie shifted the phone to his other ear, feeling himself smile. “I said that I think I’ve fallen in love with Richie. I felt it… like you said. In your heart? It was something I’ve never, ever felt before.

 

Stan gasped loudly and Beverly screamed. “OH MY GOD. MY BABY HAS GROWN UP! Stan, did you hear him?? I fucking knew it! We BOTH called it! I knew you got the hots for him! Oh my god. Oh my GOD. Was this today?!”

 

Eddie listened to this patiently. It was simply a coincidence that Beverly was with Stan. Eddie thought about waiting but he had promised to let him know as soon as possible. Beverly was going to figure it out sooner than later anyway. “Yeah! It happened not too long ago.”

 

“Well, don’t just keep us in suspense!” Stan led on, pure excitement lacing his voice. Eddie’s eyes widened slightly. Who knew Stan would be super into this? “What happened? Tell me!”

 

“We went to go meet at Jefferey’s Hill. I was going to come out to him. Which I did, and oh man, was he supportive! He ranted about how unfair things were. He called homophobic people callywacks.”

 

“Woah.” Beverly giggled in the background. “I guess he was passionate about it, then. So, go on. What else happened?”

 

“I felt so relieved. I know that he’s gay so he’s naturally going to accept it, but I was still anxious about it. I… then… things…” Eddie hesitated slightly. “Well… we, uh, almost kissed.”

 

“You WHAT?!” Stan and Beverly shouted in unison. Eddie heard a large thud in the receiver and Beverly saying something. Eddie felt his cheeks flare up wildly, and he was thankful that his mother wasn’t home at the moment. A small grin remained on his face. “I’m sorry, could you repeat that? WHAT?”

 

“We got super close to kissing. I don’t know. He thanked me for trusting him, and I just started to cry. I was just way too overjoyed. We had been hugging each other, and… we just started to lean into it. It just… it didn’t happen though.”

 

“Um, _why_?” Stan burst in, an exasperated gasp leaving his lips. “You’re telling me that you we’re so damn close to kissing him but it didn’t happen? I need a fucking minute to reflect on my life,” Stan sighed heavily.

 

“Shut up, Stan! Maybe if you gave Eddie a chance to talk, we’ll learn why!” Beverly chimed in. “Why didn’t it happen, Eddie?”

 

“Steven Fratter interrupted it. It wasn’t my fault, Stan.” Eddie chuckled as Stan annoyingly sighed. “He called us fags. Richie was starting to get a bit pissed off with him, and then he called me Eds… Fratter did.”

 

“Oh. Richie didn’t like that, did he?”

 

“I guess not, because he punched him in the jaw.” Eddie shrugged. “I couldn’t break it up at first. Two of those guys with him held me to the side. I actually got scared that he was going to get seriously injured. But when he hit his head on the ground, I fucking snapped.”

 

“Wow.” Beverly muttered. They sat there for a minute in silence. “What did you do?”

 

“I begged for him to stop when I got loose. I didn’t want to fight him. He eventually left, which I’ll admit, Richie beat him up pretty bad. He was pretty banged up himself, though. We just stood there for a minute after he left… and I looked at him one more time. That’s when I felt it.” Eddie paused, struggling to find the words. “Right in my heart. I just felt so… complete.”

 

“Oh my god, I cannot believe this.” Stan marveled. “You really have.”

 

“I just left his house a few minutes ago. I can’t stop thinking about him. I know how stupid it sounds, but… dear god, this is embarrassing.” Eddie’s cheeks felt like they were on fire. “I just… anyway, do I get my bracelet tonight?”

 

“No, not yet. Remember the three day rule?” Stan reminded him.

 

“Huh?” Eddie asked, his eyebrows furrowing. He didn’t recall a moment where his mother had mentioned it to him. “What three day rule?”

 

  
“Alright, so basically, bracelets take about three days to appear as soon as you fall in love. It does this, because…” Beverly hesitated. “Um… shit, I don’t know.”

 

“To confirm if the newly-awakened feelings are true. Or in other words, to make sure that your feeling of love is real.” Stan explained softly. Eddie raised his eyebrows. He didn’t know it took that long for them to show up.

 

“So… I should have it by Monday?” Eddie inquired curiously. “That’s three days, right?”

 

“Sure. Can you make it that long without kissing Richie on the mouth?” Beverly joked slyly, causing Stan to burst out laughing. Eddie had the urge to hang up on them, but she was certainly not wrong. _I’ve waited a long, long time for that. How much longer will it take? Will that opportunity ever arise?_

 

“Side note: I hate both of you.” Eddie groaned.

 

“Oh, shut up. I’m doing the same thing to Stan. Did you know that Bill’s going over to Stan’s house tomorrow? AGAIN? It’s for a project, but I highly doubt it.” Beverly giggled. “I mean, hello? We’ve only been in school for maybe two months. There aren't that many projects to be done, you know."

 

“That is awfully suspicious, Stanley.” Eddie grinned.

 

“How about we all shut up? It’s true. It’s for science, you see.”

 

“Wait, wait. Let me guess… human anatomy?” Beverly laughed before Eddie heard a loud slap. “Owww! Fuck you!”

 

“I guess we better go now.” Stan confided. “I might have to kick Bevvie out of my house. Eddie, seriously, I am so proud of you. You’re finally in love. What he did for you… I’m at a loss for words.”

 

“I agree. I’m being honest when I say this, but he must care a lot about you to stick up for you like that. He knew it would end in a fight, but that didn’t stop him from trying. I see why you’re in love with him.” Beverly explained softly. “It takes a lot of guts to do what you did. I mean everything you did, by the way. Come out to him. Get between the fight. Taking care of him afterwards…”

 

“We’re just extremely happy for you, Eddie. He loves you.” Stan concluded gently. “That’s all. We’re both here for you if you need any help.”

 

“Thank you. Both of you. I’m so lucky to have such supportive friends. Whenever I can, I’ll update you guys.” Eddie thanked lightly. He leaned back into his chair, and giving a soft yawn. “I’ll talk to you later. I’m sleepy.”

 

  
“Bye, Eddie. I’ll hopefully see you tomorrow,”

 

“Sweet dreams, Eddie!! You know what I mean by that. I’ll see you later!” Beverly called from the background. Eddie laughed and he hung up, placing the receiver back onto the hook. He lazily took himself off of the couch, stumbling towards his bedroom. He hadn’t realized how much had happened today.

 

_Richie came out. I came out to Richie and Beverly. I was almost kissed. Richie had beat the ever-living shit out of Steven Fratter. I fell in love._

 

_I fell in love._

 

Eddie changed out of his clothes from earlier and put on some fresh ones. An old band t-shirt, and some worn out running shorts. They had both been purchased from the thrift store. He turned off his lights and climbed into bed. Sure, things were amazing. He wished Richie had kissed him.

 

_God, what if he did? What if Steven didn’t show up? Would we have kissed? Would one of us pull out? What if we actually did?_

 

 _Oh, fucking stop. Stop it._ Eddie knew deep down inside that it wouldn’t have happened. Richie loves someone, for god’s sake. There was no way on HELL that it was Eddie. It just didn’t add up. As much as he wanted to believe Stan and Beverly, Eddie knew that it just wasn’t possible. _Shit, who leaned in first? Was it me? Fuck. FUCK._ Eddie wondered about it for a minute before confirming his assumption. _I’m just a distraction. We’re just friends._

 

_But friends don’t usually lean in for a kiss, now do they?_

 

Eddie felt the urge to bang his head against the side of the bed. _Fuck me; this is too much. I’ll ask Stan about this tomorrow. Though that wouldn’t work out too well… he seems SO sure that Richie likes me._ Eddie brought a blanket closer to himself. _Whatever. I don’t care if it’s real or not. He almost kissed me. I fucking love him._

 

-

 

Eddie suddenly woke up. He rubbed his eyes and rolled over to catch glance of the time. _3:32am_. He shrugged it off and rolled back over. He closed his eyes, but for some reason, he couldn’t go back to sleep. He re-adjusted his position, hoping that was the problem, but nothing happened. Eddie sighed. _Great. Is this what Richie feels like every night?_

 

_Richie. Oh my god, is he awake?_

 

Eddie’s stomach churned slightly. He felt the heat collect in his cheeks. That’s when he realized something. Richie… he’s been having problems with his insomnia recently. He better be fucking asleep. When it came to their disagreements, Richie’s insomnia was near the top of the list. Richie claimed that he didn’t mind it. He enjoyed having more hours in the day to listen to music, or read, or whatever else he did.

 

Eddie thought that was bullshit. People are supposed to have at least eight hours of sleep a night, otherwise it sets them up for problems. Richie’s had these problems for years now. Things had been fine for a while, when Richie had started taking a prescription for it. Eddie seemed satisfied, until the prescription was withdrawn. When Eddie had heard that, he almost marched down to his house to get ahold of his father. _Hello? Would you please fucking wake up? Your son needs a bit of extra help, and it’s not too much to fucking ask!_

 

Richie determined that it was a lost cause, but he’d try to do better. The strange thing was that he WAS doing better. Until recently, that is. Eddie’s tried prodding him about it, but all he says is one thing:

 

_“I’ve been a bit distracted lately, that’s all.”_

 

Eddie sat up in bed and let out a frustrated sigh. He didn’t need to lay here all night and worry about Richie. He needed some reassurance. Eddie pulled the covers back, threw on a sweater, and tiredly combed his hair. He slid some nearby tennis shoes on, and straightened up his room a bit. Eddie quietly opened his bedroom door and slid out of his room. He froze in the hallway, and heard the loud, muffled snores down the hall. Perfect. He silently tiptoed down the stairs and managed to slip out the front door.

 

He shuddered slightly as the breeze hit him. Richie’s house was about five minutes away from here. This was pretty much an unspoken rule between them. Either one could check on the other, if something was wrong. Usually these trips were never planned. If Richie had gotten anxious over something, he could come directly to Eddie. If Eddie was stressed over something, he could head over to Richie’s house. They both had easy access to each other’s windows, resulting in something they called ‘The Serious Party’. Three sharp knocks was all it took.

 

Eddie made it to his house in almost no time. He went to the back of the house and located Richie’s window immediately (Eddie was SO lucky that Richie had a room on the first floor). The lights were off, but Eddie went to knock anyway. Eddie lightly knocked on the window, pausing slightly in between each tap. He wasn’t sure to expect a response or not. It was honestly a gamble.

 

Luckily (or in this case, unfortunately), someone had opened the blinds. Richie, naturally. He raised them up and unlocked the window. Richie shoved the glass up. Good god. Richie was wearing a dark purple sweatshirt that was obviously oversized, along with some soft sweatpants. His hair had looked slightly wet, causing it to curl correctly. He seemed a bit confused, but a grin started to part on his lips. _This is so fucking unfair. How the hell does he look THIS good at three in the fucking morning?_

 

“Jesus christ,” Eddie muttered under his breath.

 

“Good morning to you, too, Eds.” Richie smiled. “I didn’t expect you to be here. Or let alone be awake. I’m glad you stopped by while you were on a night-stroll.”

 

“I don’t do those. I just came to visit, I guess.”

 

“At three in the morning?”

 

“You got me there.” Eddie laughed softly. “Can I come in?”

 

“As you please, Eds.” Richie backed up, providing more room for Eddie to climb in. Eddie pulled himself inside the room with ease, seeing as he’s done this many times before. He plopped himself on his bed, which was messy. The sheets were sprawled out. Richie shut the window and cracked his knuckles. “So let’s cut to the chase. Why are you here?”

 

  
“I came to check on you. I was expecting that you were asleep.”

 

“Woah there, Eds. That’s a bit creepy,” Richie laughed, and Eddie noticed that there was a hint of uncomfortableness in his voice.

 

“Well, not in a stalkerish way! I clearly knocked on your window. You know I’m here. If you didn’t answer, I would of left.” Eddie paused for a moment. “So… can’t sleep, I’m guessing?”

 

“Thinking about what makes me happy only works sometimes, I guess.” Richie shrugged. “Is that why you’re actually here?”

 

“Yes. Why? Do you doubt me?”

 

“Not necessarily. I just think it’s odd that you show up at my house in the dead hours of the night. I’m not complaining, of course, but…” Richie hesitated, and for once in Eddie’s life, he saw something on Richie’s face that he didn’t like. “It just doesn’t add up.”

 

“I know we don’t agree on how important your insomnia is, but I just woke up and I kept worrying that you couldn’t sleep. I didn’t want to sit there and constantly fret, so I came here. Now we’re talking. I don’t understand what doesn’t add up about that.”

 

“Alright. Well, I couldn’t sleep. So I’ve been… hanging out, I guess.” Richie scratched his chin for a second. “My insomnia is something not to freak out over, you know. Flattering? Yes. Necessary? Not at all.”

 

“What have you even been doing this whole time?” Eddie asked.

 

“Uh, I’ve listened to music. Worked on my mixtapes, mostly.” Richie briefly hesitated. “I’ve watched a movie or two. Yeah, I guess that’s all, really.”

 

Eddie didn’t like his hesitation. He was either lying about something or not telling the full story. He _hated_ it when Richie started to play this game with him. He was clearly beating around the bush. “Okay… why do you think you can’t sleep?”

 

Richie blankly stared at him for a minute. He clenched his fist. “I don’t know.

 

“Well, give me something to go off of here. Stress? Like, has anything happened with your parents recently? With any of the losers? Is school becoming a problem? Fill in the blanks for me. So I can try to help you.”

 

“Since when did you become a therapist?” Richie asked in a sharp voice. “I’m fine, I promise. I just can’t sleep, that’s all.”

 

“You’ve told me on several occasions that talking it out makes things easier. Hell, you told me that a few hours ago.” Eddie explained, silently starting to get pissed off. “Is it something I’ve done?”

 

  
“What? No!” Richie blurted out, snapping his head at him. “It doesn’t have to do with anyone, alright? Not my parents, not the other losers, and especially not you. It doesn’t really matter. I personally don’t know why you honestly came here.”

 

“If you’re not getting sleep, then yes, Richie, it sort of matters. I’m just trying to talk to you. You’re not telling me the full story here and it sort of fucking hurts.” Eddie sighed. Richie silently rolled his eyes and raised his arms above his head, stretching his back. His sleeves had slid down a little, and Eddie thought he saw something on his arm. Richie caught him staring and quickly brought his arms down. “What was that?”

 

“What?” Richie asked, in a defensive tone.

 

“What was on your arm?” Eddie asked in a more serious tone. “I saw something just now.”

 

  
“It’s not something you need to worry about,” Richie replied harshly. “In fact, you don’t need to worry about me at all. I was just fine before you came over here, thank you very much.”

 

“You’re lying to me right now. I’m starting to think that it’s something serious, considering how stranger you’re acting.” Eddie eyed his arm, covered up by the sleeve. He had prayed that it was just a coincidence. That Richie was telling him the truth, everything would go back to normal, and they could just cuddle or something.

 

“I am _not_ acting weird.” Richie protested. That was the last straw. Eddie suddenly stood up, and marched towards Richie. Before he could even think about his actions, and what the hell he was doing, he snatched Richie’s arm from the side. Richie drew back, but it didn’t matter. Eddie had a hold on him. “Eddie, wait--”

 

Eddie yanked back the sleeve.

 

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um. *cough* hey.
> 
> ..
> 
> Sneak Peek:
> 
> If Richie had regretted anything in his life before, it was absolutely nothing compared to this. Here he was, shamefully holding his wrist out, not daring to even glance at Eddie. He could feel his stare burning into his arm. He could feel the tension in the room. He could feel Eddie’s hurt. Richie knew that this might happen. That Eddie would find out and everything would go to utter shit.
> 
> That didn’t stop him from doing it, though.
> 
> ..


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry to be a vile beast last time :,)
> 
> Trigger warning! It'll get better, I promise.

 

If Richie had regretted anything in his life before, it was absolutely nothing compared to this. Here he was, shamefully holding his wrist out, not daring to even glance at Eddie. He could _feel_ his stare burning into his arm. He could _feel_ the tension in the room. He could _feel_ Eddie’s hurt. Richie knew that this might happen. That Eddie would find out and everything would go to utter shit.

 

That didn’t stop him from doing it, though.

 

Richie finally had the nerve to look at Eddie. He was carefully inspecting his wrist, turning it side to side. Eddie wasn’t saying a single thing. What would he even say anyway? _“Wowie, how fucking pathetic.”_ Richie didn’t want to think about it. He knew that whatever interaction was about to go down would not be a pleasant one.

 

How the ever-living _fuck_ can a pleasant conversation go down after seeing those scratches on his arm? It wasn’t like Richie could lie about it. There were plenty of dark marks surrounding his wrist. Some were deeper than others. Some were diagonal, and some were horizontal. The funny thing about it, if anything was funny in this situation, was that they were accidental. They really weren’t self-inflicted. They weren’t supposed to be there.

 

Yet, it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter if he had done this on purpose. Those scratches were there, whether he had liked it or not. Richie had lied about them. Eddie had seen them in the worst way possible. Eddie was already sensitive with Richie’s problems. Richie had just a grand idea on what hellstorm he had just cast upon himself.

 

“Richie…” Eddie finally whispered, looking up at him with the saddest eyes Richie had ever seen. A wave of guilt washed over Richie. “What… what is this?”

 

“I… it’s not what you think, I swear.” Richie tried to explain, his voice sounding a bit shaky. “I know what it looks like, but--”

 

“I have eyes, Richie. I know what happened.”

 

  
“No, you don’t understand. It’s…. It’s not like that.” Richie clarified, his voice breaking slightly. “I didn’t… It’s not what you think it is, I promise--”

 

“Then what is it?” Eddie snapped, dropping his arm. “What’s your excuse? What could you possibly tell me to make this situation better?”

 

“Eddie, please listen to me,” Richie began, desperately. _It’s not what you think. It’s not what you think! IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!_! Eddie shook his head to shush him.

 

“No! You’re going to listen to me first.” Eddie rubbed his eyes and glared at him. “When you hurt yourself, you’re not the only one that you do damage to. Imagine if the others saw you like this. There are so many different alternatives to fixing your problems. Hurting yourself just makes them worse. You could of called me. Or anyone else, for that matter.”

  
_You don’t understand. I didn’t do this to myself. I didn’t fucking want this._

 

“All I have is one question for you.” Eddie quickly dropped his gaze. He sniffed and looked back up at Richie. A single tear rolled down his cheek. “How… why… How could you fucking do this to _me_? Why did you do this to yourself? Just… **_why_**?”

  
“I wasn’t trying to! Okay, Eddie? I just wanted to get it off, that’s all. It just… it wouldn’t, alright? I’m not a horrible person! I just…” Richie felt tears of his own start to well up. He hurriedly wiped one away that manage to escape his eye.

 

Eddie’s face softened. “Get what off?”

 

“My bracelet. My mother- _fucking_ bracelet, alright?” Richie sighed wistfully. “It’s just… earlier… it opened my eyes. I knew how people hated gays, but I didn’t know it would be that fucking extreme. A small part of me doesn’t want to be publicly humiliated for the rest of my life. I don’t know. I thought getting rid of my bracelet would fix the problem. It just… it wouldn’t fucking come off.”

  
“So you decided to hurt yourself instead?” Eddie asked gently. He didn’t look angry anymore, which Richie felt relieving.

 

“No. I don’t want to do that, okay? It’s physically impossible to get the bracelet off. The blade just kept going to my skin.” Richie stopped talking for a moment. “I didn’t want to hurt you. I honestly thought it would come off. I wouldn’t have done it if I had known.”

 

But he should of stopped. The minute it hit his skin, he should of stopped. But he **didn't**. He just kept going. Over and over. It was almost like he was possessed by some demon from the depths of hell.

 

Eddie lifted his arm back up, pulling the sleeve back. He ran his finger over one of the scratches. “Do you… will you please _promise_ me that you’ll never do this again? No matter the circumstances. I don’t want to see you like this again.”

 

“I promise, Eddie. I will never do anything like it again.” Richie ruffled Eddie’s hair, a small grin dancing on his lips. “You’ll be my number one source for comfort, alright?”

 

Eddie shoved him off. “I didn’t necessarily say that,” His cheeks started to glow a dark red. “Now, uh, do you have that first-aid kit laying around?”

 

“I never really put it away.” Richie scratched the back of his neck, slightly embarrassed. “I actually, uh, put some of that cream on them. It was still lying on the counter. I tried to clean them, and I lathered my wrist with it, pretty much.”

 

Eddie stared at him with wide eyes. “Well, holy shit. I’ve raised you well. Wow.”

  
“Please. You, Stan, and Bill are my sons.” Richie grinned, and made his voice sound raspy. “You guys just surprise me with new knowledge. Things I didn’t learn in my days. However, you callywacks don’t forget where you stand. You are my sons.”

 

“Two things. First off, why are WE your sons? Second, what the hell is with the whole ‘callywack’ business? Is that like… an insult?”

 

  
“A ‘callywack’ is an insult. Well, technically… I don’t know. It just sounds like something Mr. Key would say, that’s all. Those damn callywacks.” Mr. Key was a retired teacher at their school, but he still substituted occasionally. Nobody’s sure why. He never seems to like kids. An old veteran ranting about Vietnam? He’s the ultimate joke at the school. The old fart. I love him. “Also, I’ll have you know that you’re my real son. I just recently adopted Bill and Stan.”

 

“Why am I your real son, exactly?” Eddie cocked an eyebrow. Richie smirked at him.

 

“Should I really answer that question?” Richie grinned. Eddie let out a scoff. “Fine, fine. It’s because you call me ‘daddy’ the best, that’s all.”

 

“Fuck you,” Eddie sighed, rolling his eyes. He crossed his arms and his blush became even more noticeable.

 

“Well, since you asked so nicely…” Richie smiled as Eddie groaned, burying his face into his hands. Eddie getting flustered was something that Richie would pay to see. Richie dramatically threw himself onto his bed. “Anyway, what’s up? Are you gonna go home or hang out here?”

 

“I”m here for now. So we could do anything, really.” Eddie hesitated for a minute, then grinned. “If you make another sex joke, I swear to god, I might slap the shit out of you.”

 

“Okay, well here are some options. Watch a movie, blast some random music, talk… uh… shit, I don’t know.” Richie racked his brain for some more things to do. “OH! Got one! We can eat some food. I’ve got plenty.”

 

Eddie opened his mouth and quickly shut it. Richie stared at him, expecting him to bounce off with another idea. They sat there in silence for a moment, before Eddie cleared his throat. “We could… uh… paint each other’s nails?”

 

Richie sat straight up when he had heard that. Eddie fucking Kaspbrak did **NOT** just say that. No way. Eddie was a real pain in the ass when it came to risky things like this. A couple months ago, they had a sleepover. Similar to the current situation, they had absolutely nothing to do. Worse, they had no food.

 

They both agreed to go to McDonald’s. At four in the morning. See, Richie wanted to spice it up more than that. He suggested that they both go in full makeup. Eddie just about flipped shit when he heard that. Eddie absolutely refused. When Richie decided that they could go a few towns over, Eddie was still extremely hesitant.

 

It wasn’t until Richie had bribed him with chicken nuggets that Eddie agreed. They raided whatever Richie’s mother had. Foundation, blush, mascara, eyeshadow, lipstick, highlight, bronzer, oh they used it all. It was a _RIOT_. Once Eddie had finished with Richie’s face, he couldn’t stop giggling. Those giggles didn’t end right away either. They had actually gotten worse by the time they got to McDonald’s. Oh man, that was a great day.

 

Richie attempted to get Eddie to paint his fingernails, but there was no use. Eddie would not listen at all. Nothing could win him over. He may have easily cracked when it came to makeup, but Eddie firmly stood his ground when it came to painting nails. So when Eddie had suggested the idea ever-so-casually, he refused to believe it.

 

This is **NOT** Eddie Kaspbrak. _Who are you?_

 

“I’m sorry-- _WHAT_?” Richie brushed his hair out of his face and peered at Eddie, who was now looking extremely embarrassed. “Did I hear you correctly?”

 

  
“Yes. It’s just a suggestion. We don’t have to, I--”

 

  
“Alrighty, sit down. On the bed, I guess. I’ve got tons of colors to choose from, so that’s pretty neat.” Richie lifted himself off of the bed and made his way to his dresser. He opened the top drawer and started taking bottles out. “I’ll pick a color for you, and you’ll pick one for me.”

 

After Richie had picked out almost all of the colors of the rainbow, he brought it over to his bed and dropped them. He sat across from Eddie, crossing his legs, and picked up a bottle or two to compare. “Richie? I hope you know that I’ve only painted nails, like, once.”

 

“I don’t mind,” Richie hummed, squinting at the bottles. One was a paleish blue, and one was a light pink. Eddie picked up a bottle, examining it closely. His gaze dropped down to the cluster of nail polish bottles.

 

“Where the hell did you get all of these?” Eddie asked, looking up at Richie.

 

Richie sort of just shrugged and grinned. He bought some occasionally when he was out. Some were stolen from Beverly. Some were stolen from Greta Keene’s locker. “Just pick a color and stop asking questions, Eds.”

 

  
“That’s a concerning answer.” Eddie giggled, and opened one of them. “Well, I’ve picked yours. Look at it,”

 

Richie glanced at his choice, and realized that it was purple. The same shade of purple that his sweatshirt was. It was almost like a darker violet… almost the natural color for velvet. Eddie had the right idea. Yet, that wasn’t much of a surprise. Eddie had always picked his outfits carefully, making sure the colors correctly go with each other. Richie was the complete opposite.

 

“That’s a pretty color. I like that one. How do you like this one for your nails?” Richie tossed him the light pink color. Eddie fumbled with it before dropping it. “Maybe I can make it sparkle a bit? If you want to, that is. I’m totally up for whatever.”

 

Eddie stared at it for a minute, almost in awe, before slowly nodding. “Sure. I’d like that. Um… could you paint mine first? I just want to see how to do it… you seem more experienced in this. I just want a general idea of what to do.”

 

“Yeah, sure. Give me one second...” Richie affirmed as he gathered the bottles back in his arms. He brought himself off of the bed and dropped them back in the top drawer. He dusted off his hands and leaped on the bed, causing Eddie to jump.

 

“Fuck. Stop doing that,”

 

“Okay, Eds. Let’s see what I need to work with,” He took Eddie’s hand gently. Richie ran his thumb over his nails, which were smooth. His nails were neatly clean, with no white marks anywhere in sight. The ends were almost perfectly rounded. “Woah. Okay. I don’t think I even need to file these. You’ve got pretty nails. Damn.”

 

“Oh… thanks.” Eddie cleared his throat. Richie laid his hand flat on the bed and grabbed the bottle. “How do you know how to do all of this anyway? The makeup? Painting nails? How do you have the time for it?”

 

Richie unscrewed the top of the bottle and tried to level off the paint. “I’ll be completely honest with you. Beverly started it.” Richie took the brush and started to work on his right thumb. “I had gone to sleepover at her house. You know how she is. She can talk you into anything.”

 

“Oh yeah,” Eddie giggled. “I know how she is.”

 

“Long story short, I left her apartment the next morning with bright, red nails. I should mention that we’re not the best pair to work with.” Richie grinned. “We were both high when we made that decision; let’s just say that. Anyways, I thought it was mortifying at first. Yet, the more I looked at them, the more I fell in love with them.”

 

“I don’t ever see you wearing nail polish.” Eddie commented, as Richie moved on to the index finger. Yeah, he has a right to be curious.

 

“I typically wash it off after I’m finished. If I have nights when I can’t sleep, I’ll try to get some practice. I don’t know. I mainly just do it for Beverly’s sake.” Richie explained, as he slowly covered the nail with paint. “So whenever we have sleepovers, I rub my awesome skills in her face.”

 

  
“How often do you paint them?” Eddie asked. Richie moved to the next finger. “Like, do you just do it occasionally, or do you them pretty often?”

 

“More than occasionally. It’s just one of those things that tends to happen when you’re bored. Like now.” Richie sort of shrugged and finished the last two nails. “That hand is done. Try to be careful with them as that layer dries. Believe me, I’ve messed them up too many times for comfort.”

 

Eddie cautiously moved his hand, waving his hand in an attempt to help dry them. “Richie, I’m being dead serious with you, yours might look like shit. I have no clue what to do.”

 

“Eds, I’m being dead serious when I say that I don’t care. It’s a fucking miracle that you’re doing this anyway, so I’m not complaining.” Richie dipped the brush back into the bottle and leveled it off again. He flashed Eddie a smile. “I’m gonna wear it with some damn pride on Monday. So, fuck you.”

 

“You’re-- You’re not gonna wash it off? You’re gonna wear it to school?” Eddie blurted it out in utter shock. He raised his eyebrows. “Aren’t you scared?”

 

“Steven Fratter knows I’m gay now. The whole school has probably heard about it, along with wonderful rumors. So, why ruin his fun? I’ll bust into that damn school with some confidence.”

 

Eddie thought about that for a minute. “I… wow.” He looked speechless. Richie didn’t pay much attention to it, and focused on his nails.

 

“I might have to do three layers on this, since it’s such a bright color. Luckily, since you picked a darker color, I think you’ll only have to do two. Hell, maybe even one. We’ll see.” Richie rambled, continuing his job. “Sorry if this isn’t making much sense. I’ll help you when I’m done with yours.”

 

“No, no. It’s okay.” Eddie paused slightly. “Wait... what color is your bracelet? I should of picked a color to match it.”

 

“I liked the color you picked out already.” Richie whispered, definitely keeping his gaze down. To Eddie, it would look like he was focusing on his nails. In reality, he didn’t want Eddie to look at him. “Besides, it doesn’t matter. Nobody can see it, remember?”

 

“I… um… I know that. I just… well, I wanted to know anyway.” Eddie continued, not letting up. Richie felt a stabbing feeling of sadness, knowing that he would have to describe what it looked like. He wished Eddie could see it for himself. _That would mean he loves me._

 

“It’s white. Whiter than the ghost on the Ghostbusters logo.” Richie lifted his head up. He desperately wanted to change the subject. “Okay, that hand’s done for now. Please hand me your other hand, you handy bastard.”

 

Eddie giggled and laid his right hand back on the bed. “I’m not sure if I need to point out that you used the word ‘hand’ three times in a sentence, or the fact that you compared your soul-bracelet to the Ghostbusters logo.”

 

“Excuse you, Ghostbusters is a fantastic movie.” Richie put in. He was just messing with Eddie-- he knew that Ghostbusters was his favorite movie. Richie knew that Eddie was about to start ranting about it. Richie didn’t mind; he loved listening to his voice anyway.

 

“Ghostbusters is the world’s best movie, and I don’t give a flying fuck about what anyone else says.” Eddie began. Here we go. Here HE goes. “Everything about it is just amazing. The songs, the actors, the humor… I love it so damn much. Even the sequel was good. Bill Murray just adds icing to the cake-- I mean, sure, Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis are top dogs, but Bill Murray was the best. He’s the comedic king of all time. Period.”

 

“I disagree, Eds. Well, not about Ghostbusters. That movie is amazing, but I think there’s a different comedic king.” Richie blurted out. Eddie let out a dramatic gasp.

 

“Who could possibly top Bill Murray? Bill-fucking-Murray?”

 

“Eddie Murphy, that’s who.” Richie looked back up at Eddie, who rolled his eyes at him. “Now I get it. Stand up comedians and actors are two completely different things. Comedy, though… that’s the same.”

  
“Please. You only like him because everything he says is vulgar. Like your jokes.” Eddie explained. Richie looked back down at his nails, but continued to listen. “Besides, Bill Murray couldn’t have made vulgar jokes if he wanted to. It wasn’t rated R.”

 

“You don’t have to be vulgar to be funny, Eds.”

 

“Then what makes YOU so vulgar all the time?”

  
“It’s my signature move, Eds.” Richie chuckled lightly. “I’m almost done, you know. I just have to add the top coat and I’ll be done. You’ll have to let them dry before you do mine.”

 

“Richie, I’m telling you, I--” Eddie began, but Richie interrupted him by bringing a finger to his lips.

 

“If you tell me one more time that you’ll mess up my nails, I’ll hit you with a pillow. I’ll help you along the way.” Richie brought his finger down and looked down at Eddie’s nails. “See? We’re both gonna have bombass nails.”

 

Richie looked back at him and Eddie was furrowing his eyebrows. It looked like he wanted to protest. He opened his mouth, ready to say something, when Richie leaned over to grab a pillow. He quickly shut it, and a blush radiated on his cheeks. “Fine.”

 

  
“While these are drying,” Richie gestured to Eddie’s nails. “I’m gonna ask you some questions.”

 

“Since when is this an interrogation? Do you suspect me of murder or something?” Eddie asked, a tad defensive. “You know what? Whatever. Ask me away.”

 

If only it was that easy. Richie thought he was prepared, but he knew deep down that he wasn’t. The question had been pounding against his head all night. He tried his best to ignore it, but that obviously didn’t work. He replayed the motions in his head over and over. Steven Fratter had shown up. Yes, he remembered that clearly. What he wasn’t sure about was before that. Before Fratter stuck his nose in their business.

 

They were leaning in. They were about to do something. It was such a special moment. They were about to kiss each other. It was too close to have been something else.

 

Richie was clear on that fact too. What he wasn’t sure about was the meaning of it. What would that kiss have meant? It had been bugging Richie the moment it was prevented. Did that mean Eddie likes me? No. It can’t be that. It just… it wouldn’t make sense. It couldn’t have been a ‘friend kiss’, if those even existed.

 

Richie had kissed people on the cheek before. He’s done that to all of the losers, including Eddie. It was just another way of saying ‘hello’ for him. He refrained from doing it more nowadays. It could easily be taken out of context, and Richie didn’t want to cause that sort of trouble. Except the moment he had shared with Eddie didn’t feel like a ‘friend kiss’ at all.

 

Another thing that bugged Richie was the previous conversation at lunch. The fact that Eddie admitted to all of them that he hadn’t ever been on a date. He didn’t have to say it outloud; Richie knew that it meant he hadn’t been kissed. _SO WHY THE EVER-LIVING HELL DID HE ALMOST KISS ME TODAY?_ Eddie could of had his first kiss right then and there.

 

_Wait, no. Maybe he has been kissed before. Yeah… you don’t have to be kissed on a date, right? It still didn’t make sense. Why did Eddie lean into it? Wait, no-- did he lean in? Who leaned in first? OH DEAR GOD._

 

“Earth to Richie?” Eddie waved his hand in front of Richie’s eyes. “Are you alive, bub?”

 

Richie blinked sharply. How the hell was he going to ask this question? _Hey, so, do you like me?_

 

_We almost kissed, right?_

 

_What would that kiss have meant?_

 

_If Steven didn’t show up earlier, would you have actually kissed me?_

 

_Earlier. Kiss. Meaning?_

 

_OH MY GOD, CAN I JUST KISS YOU NOW??? WE ARE ALONE, LET’S DO THIS!_

 

Richie cleared his throat. He found himself staring at Eddie’s nails, which so far, looked good. He took in a deep breath. “Is it true that you’ve never been on a date?”

 

Eddie inhaled sharply and Richie glanced back at him. The inhaler is in the desk, right? Eddie furrowed his eyebrows. “Does it really matter?”

 

“No. I just… wanted to know if it was true.” Richie muttered. He screwed the top off of a new bottle, which was clear. It was to make Eddie’s nails shine-- and sparkle. “I don’t care if you have or haven’t. I was just thinking about earlier today.”

  
“Well, no. I haven’t. At this rate, it won’t happen.” Eddie scoffed. “Not to mention my first kiss. If I want that to happen, I’ll let myself get drugged at some bar.”

 

“Woah, too far, Eds. I think you’ll be fine.”

 

“How old were you when you had yours?”

 

“14. At some stupid party.” Richie rolled his eyes. “Not something I want to relive.”

 

“See? At least you got it over with.” Eddie sighed sadly. “I mean, hello? I’ll be seventeen next year. I bet everyone at school has had theirs.”

 

“I’m almost done. Just one more hand and then it’ll be your turn.” Richie informed quietly, desperately trying to change the subject. Richie swapped his focus to Eddie’s other hand. “You know… we should do this more often.”

  
“Paint each other’s nails or sneak off late to hang out with each other?” Eddie confided.

 

“Either, actually. I don’t know. I like hanging out with you. Especially when you do crazy shit like this.” Richie nudged in the direction of his nails. Eddie stayed silent. Richie finished up, completing the thumb, and clicked his tongue. “There. Let them dry.”

 

Richie pulled himself off the bed and stretched. Eddie was staring at his hands in wonder. “Richie… holy shit.” He kept studying them from different angles. “They’re so… wow."

 

“I hope that’s a compliment. That’s some of my best work right there.” Richie cracked his knuckles and yawned. “I can’t wait for you to do mine.”

 

“Richie, I really don’t want to mess up your nails.” Eddie complained, dramatically throwing himself back. “You’re too perfect to be messed up.”

 

Richie felt his heart flutter against his chest. _Did he just say what I thought he just said? Oh my god, is it possible for him to be any cuter?_ Richie started to chuckle lightly. “Alright, let’s not get ahead of ourselves there, Eds. I am nowhere near--”

 

“Ever know how to take a compliment?”

 

“Oh, shush.” Richie rolled his eyes and smiled. He resumed his spot back on the bed. “I’ve called you ‘cute’ for years now, and you’re just now starting to accept it.”

 

“Get over here, Trashmouth.” Eddie studied the color he chose as Richie leaned forward. “Hopefully this works out. Can I see your hand?”

 

Richie, almost too eagerly, gave him his right hand. Eddie examined it closely, grabbing it lightly. Eddie stared at Richie’s hand, almost in awe. His cheeks turned light pink as he let go and unscrewed the bottle. “Like my hands, Eds?”

 

“Shut up,” Eddie growled, trying to level off the paint. “I’m just trying to paint your nails, so don’t flatter yourself.”

 

Richie gently chuckled. “I don’t believe you.” Eddie rolled his eyes, and his cheeks were a bright red now. He dropped his focus to Richie’s nails and began to paint. “I mean, why wouldn’t you like them? You didn’t seem to have a problem with my hands earlier at lunch.”

 

Richie knew he had to say something about it eventually. It was driving him crazy. Eddie stopped painting and snapped his head up at him with wide eyes.“That… that was different! Completely different!”

 

“How?” Richie knew that flirting was just the easiest thing to do in this situation.

  
“It... It just was!” Eddie sputtered, and immediately looked back down. “Now can you shut up? I keep getting distracted and I’ll eventually mess these up,” He nudged to Richie’s nails.

 

“Good to know that my voice distracts you,” Richie grinned. Eddie shot his head up and let out an annoyed sigh. “Right, right-- I’ll be quiet now. Only for you, though.”

 

Eddie didn’t respond; he only looked down and began to work on Richie’s nails again. Richie sat there in silence. It wasn’t a tense silence that filled the room, but it wasn’t necessarily a pleasant one either. Richie was beyond frustrated. He needed to tell Eddie how he felt. He needed to open up about it. Keeping those feelings tucked away was becoming actual torture for him. _Yet, what was he expecting to happen? Eddie admits that he has feelings for him, too? That they’ll elope and get married in some obscure country? No, that won’t even happen in my wildest dreams._

 

Richie knew deep down inside that Eddie will probably stop talking to him. It would change everything between them. They’d probably stop contacting each other, and everytime all the losers would hang out together, it would be awkward. That right there was what made Richie not say anything. He didn’t dare risk their friendship ending. Richie knew that he couldn’t date Eddie… but at least he could be friends with him.

 

“Richie? You there?” Eddie waved his hand in front of Richie’s face, causing him to blink sharply. “I think you spaced out.”

 

“Yes… sorry. I was thinking about something.” Richie answered, then glanced down at his nails. Holy fuck. They were dark purple, like Eddie had originally chose, but they had a sort of sparkle to them. He moved his hand to the side, studying his nails. The paint was laid on there so smoothly. There were no scuffs or chips. They were fucking perfect.

 

“I put that top coat on. I like how mine glistened, so I wanted to put that same polish on yours. I only did two layers, like you said before. I hope you don’t think they look bad.” Eddie scratched the back of his neck and screwed the top back on the bottle. “I’m not very good at this.”

 

“You have to be kidding me. You’re a natural, Eds.” Richie didn’t break his gaze, and continued to drool over his nails. Richie had lost count of how many times he had done his own nails. He usually seemed satisfied with his end result, but not something to brag about. There’d be those occasional times where he was proud with them. Those times were absolutely nothing compared to this. Who knew Eddie was a beauty wizard? Well… that’s not too surprising, actually. “Like… what the hell?”

  
“You like them?”

 

“Eddie, I fucking love these.” Richie smiled, glancing back at him. “I can’t believe you agreed to this. I thought you’d never want to do this.”

 

“Well, things change, I guess.” Eddie lightly shrugged, and a grin danced on his lips.

 

-

“Hey, Eds?” Richie cracked his knuckles loudly. “I just want to know… are you staying over here tonight or are you going back home?”

 

They had both been lying on the floor, talking about whatever came to mind. Eddie turned his head to the right, to face Richie. “I… I guess I was sort of hoping to stay tonight. Unless you don’t want me to, then I can go home..”

 

“I don’t mind. Do you think your mom will care that you’re here?” Richie asked, turning his body towards Eddie. He propped his head up on his arm.

 

“I think she’ll understand.” Eddie paused for a moment, then sighed heavily. “Well… hopefully. I spend the night here all the time. Or I’ll just make something up. I don’t know.”

 

“Okay. Is that what you’re sleeping in?” Richie pointed to Eddie’s clothes as he sat up off of the floor.“You didn’t bring anything with you,”

 

“Um…” Eddie hesitated. Richie jumped up, and made his way to his closet. Funny… he thought he shut these doors earlier. They were wide open. Richie slightly shrugged and pushed his clothes out of the way, looking for specific items. He found a t-shirt that couldn’t fit him anymore; a black shirt with the Nirvana logo on it. He tossed it to Eddie, and turned back to look for something else.

 

Richie found a sweatshirt that Eddie could use. A plain, light gray sweatshirt that was made of cotton. He took it off the clothes’ hanger and closed the closet doors. He handed it to Eddie, who looked extremely puzzled. “You might get cold, so here. I don’t have any shorts you could use… they’ll all be too big on you.”

 

Eddie, who was now clutching the clothes in his hand, raised his eyebrows at him. His cheeks glowed bright red. “You’re… letting me wear your stuff?” Richie didn’t dare comment on how flustered he seemed.

 

“Yeah. Actually, you can actually keep those. They’re too small on me anyway.” Richie tapped his foot, glancing at his bed. “Let’s see... I’ve got plenty of food we can eat… I’ve got the floor, you’ve got the bed, and I think I’ve--”

 

“Um, no.” Eddie interrupted in disagreement, crossing his arms. Richie turned around and raised an eyebrow at him. “I’m sleeping on the floor. You’ll screw your back up from doing that, so you can have the bed.”

 

“It’s alright, Eds. I like the floor. You’re the guest, and the guest gets to sleep in my bed. No biggie.” Richie explained, ruffling Eddie’s hair. “As I was saying, I’m going to--”

 

“Nope.” Eddie cut in, shoving Richie off of him. “You’re not sleeping on the floor. I’m not letting you.”

 

“No need to get feisty, sir. I’m just telling you that I am sleeping on the floor, you are sleeping in the bed, and everyone’s happy.”

 

“Give it up, Rich,”

 

“Never.”

 

“Well, you’re wasting your time, Richie. I’m not going to listen to you.”

 

“I’ll gladly waste my time, because you’ll break eventually.”

 

“You know what?” Eddie asked, taking a step towards Richie. “If you’re not gonna let me sleep on the floor, we’ll share the bed. Make a wall out of pillows, or leave it be, or something. I don’t know, but I’m not allowing you to be on the floor."

 

Richie stood there for a second before a snort left his lips. “Wow, okay. Hell, why don’t we have sex while we’re at it? Whoop-de-doo,” Richie retorted sarcastically, giving Eddie a practical grin. Eddie stared back at him, his eyebrows furrowed. The blush on his cheeks had appeared once again. He violently crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. He didn’t look necessarily angry, but there was no fucking smile on his face. _Did I hit a nerve? Too far?_ “Sorry. Were you being serious?”

 

“Yes, I was. I mean, what other choice do I have? I’ll sleep on the floor, or we’ll… share a bed, I guess.” Eddie looked down at Richie’s socks. _Shit, why the hell did I say that? That was fucking stupid._

 

“Then your sleeping in my bed tonight. You’re a lucky man, Eds,” Richie winked, a smile reappearing on his lips. “Alright, as you might know, I talk in my sleep sometimes. So if you wake up in the middle of the night, and hear me rambling about something random like… chicken nuggets, don’t give it a second thought.”

 

“I’m aware of that.” Eddie laughed softly. “Trashmouth, you can never shut the hell up. Sometimes you fall asleep in algebra… and you talk about the weirdest things. One time you kept murmuring about leather pants? It was extremely entertaining for me and Ben.”

 

“Bill kept bringing it up that day! So sue me, Edward Spaghward."

 

Eddie blinked. “What? What did you call me?”

 

“You heard me. I called you Edward Spaghward.”

 

“Wow. That’s a new one,” Eddie giggled as he rubbed his eyes. “When do you typically wake up?”

 

“Usually mid-afternoon. Tomorrow, I’ll have to wake up earlier than usual. Or technically later. I don’t know. All I know is that I’m going to my grandmother’s house.” Richie shrugged slightly, tilting his head to the side. A hint of confusion spread across Eddie’s face. “Oh, right. I forgot to tell you. I’m going to drive up to my grandmother’s house tomorrow for the day. Check on her, talk to her, and all of that. Usually mom and dad do this, but from the looks of it, they won’t be home for a while. I’m gonna do it instead.”

 

“Oh.” Eddie didn’t say anything for a minute. Richie had known exactly how Eddie felt about his parents and their habits. “Well, I wouldn’t want to be in the way. Do you want me to go home?”

 

“Nope. You’re never in my way.” Richie chuckled gently, and nudged towards the door. “I’m gonna go to the kitchen and you can change. Want anything from down there? I’m gonna get some oreos.”

 

Eddie hesitated. “Bring me only a couple. If you bring that whole bag up here… I’ll eat all of the cookies first and then strangle you for tempting me.”

 

Richie pretended to be horrified, backing up to the door. He cracked it open slowly and slipped out. “Only a couple.”

 

“Don’t forget! I’m serious!” Eddie called after him after Richie shut the door. Richie stomped down the stairs and into the kitchen. He leaned against a counter and buried his face in his hands. He had been able to act as natural as possible for long enough. _What WAS happening?? They had just painted each other’s nails… Richie was giving him some of his clothes… Now they’re going to share a bed??_

 

If Bill were here right now, Richie would be getting repeatedly slapped in the shoulder, and would be freaking out. Beverly would practically be shoving him back into the room. Stan would just give him a thumbs-up. Ben would cheer him on, and would wish him the best of luck. Mike would tell him to stop wasting his time and just kiss Eddie already. They’re all supportive like that.

 

Richie grabbed the package of oreos that were on the counter and grabbed a couple. Richie didn’t dare waste his time when he bought cookies. These were the good shit. The legendary double-stuf oreos. Richie could handle a lot of things, but when it came to any sort of sweets, he had absolutely no willpower. It was no surprise that whenever he went grocery shopping, he’d buy a minimum of three packs of oreos. It’s a great substitute for cigarettes.

 

He ate them slowly, buying Eddie more time to change his clothes. He was not about to make the mistake of walking in on him. No. Absolutely not. Richie wanted to respect his privacy, and after everything that just happened, things would be horribly tense. Richie also knew deep down inside, if he saw Eddie like that… someone was going to get jumped tonight. To put into kinder terms, that is.

 

Eventually, Richie got two water bottles from the refrigerator. He tucked them under his arm, and grabbed a stack of oreos. He turned the lights off downstairs, and made his way up the stairs again. He found his room and knocked on the door. Richie snuck an oreo off of the stack and put it in his mouth.

 

“You can come in,” Eddie called, his voice muffled by the door. Richie cracked the door open and pushed it. Richie’s eyes landed on Eddie immediately, causing him to stop in his tracks. There Eddie was, sitting on the end of Richie’s bed, holding a couple of cassette tapes. The sweatshirt was enormous on him, almost fully covering his thighs. His hair was slightly messy, sticking up in the right places. “Are these your mixtapes?”

 

“Let me see which ones you have.” Richie confided, setting the waters down on his dresser. He noticed something else. A wall of pillows stacked on top of each other in the upper half of the bed. “Oh. Nice barrier. Here’s your oreos.”

 

Richie handed him the oreos. Eddie gazed at them for a moment. “Fucker. Do you want me to get diabetes or something?”

 

Richie picked up the tape he was looking at. Richie never bothered to list the songs he had put on there. He only wrote what sort of genre it was on the case in black Sharpie. If it was a mixtape for someone, the person it was intended for had their name on it. The one Eddie had been looking at was an older tape. It had been beaten up.

 

**_Slow_ **

 

“No, these aren’t mixtapes. Well… I guess in a way, they are.” Richie paused for a moment. “I usually listen to this one when I go to sleep.”

 

“Slow songs, I presume?” Eddie asked, biting into an oreo. A grin suddenly parted on his lips. “I bet some songs by Whitney Houston are on here. I’m right, aren’t I?”

 

Richie’s cheeks flushed up in embarrassment. “Whatever. She has a beautiful voice, thank you very much.”

 

“Are you gonna listen to it tonight?” Eddie polished off the last of the oreos, and wiped his face off with the back of his hand. “I mean, you don’t have to.”

 

“I mean… if you’re cool with it.” Richie shrugged. “Usually people don’t listen to music when they go to sleep. I don’t know if you’ll like what I have picked out. All I can really tell you is that they’re slow.”

 

“You always have good song choices. I don’t mind.” Eddie yawned, and stretched his arms back. “I just know that I’ll need some sleep sooner than later. It’s almost five in the morning.”

 

“Well,” Richie stood up and gathered the rest of the tapes. He walked over to his desk and clicked a button on his stereo. “I’ll get this set up. Then we can go to bed. Fair?”

 

Eddie nodded silently and yawned again. He crawled over to the side of the bed that was closer to the wall. Richie turned back around and popped the tape into the stereo. He fiddled with the volume, making sure it wasn’t too loud, and then hit play. “Faithfully” by Journey started to fill the room. Richie flicked the lights off and saw that Eddie had already climbed into bed. Richie laid down next to him, behind the barrier, and pulled the blankets up to his chest.

 

He took his glasses off and sighed heavily. The lyrics filled his ears. Richie couldn’t believe that this song had come out almost ten years ago now.

 

 _Highway run_  
Into the midnight sun  
Wheels go ‘round and ‘round  
You’re on my mind

Richie readjusted the pillow and closed his eyes. He had heard this song almost every night for months now, and knew the words almost perfectly. He attempted to mouth the words, as quietly as he could.

 

 _Restless hearts_  
Sleep alone tonight  
Sendin’ all my love   
Along the wire

 

This song reminded Richie too much of Eddie. He had loved Eddie with all of his heart. It was a shame that Eddie would probably never figure it out, sure. Yet, what could he do? It wouldn’t stop Richie from dreaming about him. It wouldn’t stop Richie from secretly praising him. It wouldn’t stop him from anything.

 

 _They say that the road_  
Ain't no place to start a family  
Right down the line  
It's been you and me.  
And lovin' a music man  
Ain't always what it's supposed to be

_Oh boy, you stand by me_

 

He heard Eddie shift next to him. Too bad he wouldn't be able to hear it every night, like he had wanted. God, how badly he wanted that. How badly he wanted Eddie to be his.

 

_I’m forever yours  
Faithfully_

 

It didn’t matter if things weren’t perfect. It didn’t matter that things weren’t fair. It didn’t matter that Eddie wasn’t his. It didn’t matter that Richie couldn’t kiss Eddie like he wanted. It didn’t matter that they were just friends. It didn’t matter if the world accepted Richie or not. It didn’t matter at all.

 

Richie Tozier was in love with Eddie Kaspbrak, and nothing could ever change that.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cough up the five bucks. I made it up to you for the last chapter. ;)


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: homophobic comments
> 
> -
> 
> How are we at chapter nine already?? This is insane :)

 

  
Something had shifted gently underneath him.

 

Eddie blinked. The bright light filled his vision, and he instantly shut his eyes. He laid there for a moment, trying to process what had just happened. Eddie mentally shrugged it off and went to go back to sleep. He wasn’t sure what he was laying against. It didn’t certainly feel like a pillow, but it wasn’t bad. Eddie didn’t exactly want to move. Something told him that wherever he was laying was okay.

 

Something lightly grabbed Eddie’s arm and slowly moved it closer to his body, which was originally stretched far to the side. Eddie didn’t find that comfortable at all, causing him to make a noise of protest and slinging it back. It hit something sort of soft; not soft enough to be the bed. However, Eddie could care less. He was actually sort of annoyed now. _Whoever is doing that needs to stop._

 

Just when Eddie began to relax again, there was a familiar shift under his head. Eddie sighed loudly, mainly in discontent. He firmly put his head back in the original spot. He didn’t care. He wanted some sleep, and he was pretty fucking satisfied. That’s when Eddie heard a sharp exhale, besides his own. A hand softly shook his shoulder.

 

“Eddie,” Richie’s quiet voice pleasantly filled Eddie’s ears. “Hey, Eds,”

 

“Hmm?” Eddie hummed, still half-conscious.

 

“Can I get up?” Richie whispered. Eddie finally opened his eyes again and was greeted by a shoulder. Richie’s shoulder, to be more specific. Eddie looked up to see Richie gazing down at him. Big fucking surprise: he looked like he was sculpted from the angels. Eddie grunted and buried his head back into his shoulder. “Come on, Eds, you know I’m a weak man,”

 

“I don’t want you to leave,” Eddie murmured quietly.

 

“Eddie…”

  
“Bleh. You’re no fun.” Eddie nuzzled his face into Richie’s collarbone, closing his eyes again. “Just give me five more minutes, alright?”

 

Richie said no more. He left Eddie mostly alone, except for playing with his hair. If Eddie didn’t want it to stop before, he definitely didn’t want it to now. This was new territory for him. Being this close to someone…Being this close to Richie. A voice in his head told him that he shouldn’t be doing this. They weren’t a thing. Richie didn’t love him. Yet, Eddie was too tired and too impatient to care.

 

Eddie felt himself constantly drifting back into sleep, but he was determined to stay awake. He just wanted to enjoy this moment as long as possible. To enjoy _him_. Richie stopped playing with his hair and smoothed it back. He stayed silent for a minute before tapping Eddie’s shoulder. “Hey-- you’re literally falling asleep.”

 

Eddie whined faintly, drawing his arm back and lifting his head up. He scooted over as Richie slipped out of bed. “Do you have to go?”

 

“You know I have to.” Richie yawned and brought the covers over Eddie. “You’re clearly in need of sleep, so you can stay here as long as you’d like. Okay?”

 

“Ughhhhhh.” Eddie rolled over with a huff. He heard Richie chuckle warmly behind him. Eddie instantly craved his touch again, and almost kicked himself. He shouldn’t have let him get up. He should of convinced him to stay. “Will you be back later?”

 

“I’m not sure. Later tonight, probably,” Richie paused when Eddie groaned quietly. “I’ll try to come back as soon as I can, alright? Then we can do… whatever that was again. How does that sound?”

 

Eddie silently furrowed his eyebrows. But I want you over here right now. Not later. Now. Eddie sighed tiredly. There was no use. Richie was up and awake now. It would be impossible to persuade him. “Okay…”

 

“Get some rest, alright? When I get back, I promise you’ll have my full attention. Just not right this minute.” Richie laughed lightly and leaned over Eddie. Making a noise of annoyance, Eddie pushed Richie to the side. Richie giggles only intensified, and he playfully grabbed his hand, intertwining each others fingers.“Hello, Eddie Spaghetti,”

 

“How am I supposed to get some sleep with you doing this shit?” Eddie grumbled, trying to let go of Richie’s hand. He actually had a stronger grip than Eddie anticipated, so he slinked down under the blankets. “You wanted to get out of bed so bad, but yet you’re back over here?”

 

Richie took a strand of Eddie’s hair and pushed it behind his ear, smiling at him. “Well, would you look at that. We sound like an old married couple, for god’s sake.” Richie let go of Eddie’s hand and pulled himself off of the bed. “Yeah, you definitely need more sleep. You’re crankier than usual.”

 

“Grow up, Richie,” Eddie muttered, burying his face into a nearby pillow. Richie didn’t reply right away. Eddie heard constant shuffling, drawers opening and closing, and the floor occasionally creaking. He felt himself starting to drift back into sleep. Not that he was fully awake anyway. Eddie hadn’t gotten much sleep anyway.

 

Right when Eddie had believed Richie had left, and when he was finally letting himself go to sleep, he heard something. Something that was almost too quiet for him to hear.

 

“He’s just too fucking gorgeous,” With that, Eddie heard faint steps and the shutting of a door.

…

 

Something had happened.

 

However, Eddie wasn’t sure what that something was. It started out simple; Eddie had woken about about ten minutes ago. At first, he had no idea where he was. Which wasn’t too strange, considering that this happens every time he sleeps somewhere else besides his house. It only took him a minute to remember everything. Everything from last night. Or… technically that morning. The nail painting, the emotions… everything.

 

That’s when Eddie realized something critical. _I’m on the wrong side of the bed. I didn’t sleep on this side… right?_ His eyes darted to the pillow wall. Or the remains of it. It had been destroyed with pillows flung to the side. One of them had knocked it down. _It couldn’t have been me. I don’t remember doing that._

 

_But then… why would I be on his side of the bed?_

 

Eddie vaguely remembered talking to Richie earlier… but he had been too tired to truly perceive anything. He just remembered a conversation existing… _what was it about? What did we talk about? Good god, is this what’s it like to be hungover?_ The pieces just didn’t go together. But what else could he do? Richie was gone now, and he wouldn’t be back until later. He must know what happened.

 

Eddie started to feel gross. He didn’t brush his teeth last night and he wanted to shower. He just… didn’t want to move. How many times did he get the opportunity to lay in Richie’s bed? In Richie’s clothes? This was clearly a one time thing, and he wanted to enjoy it while he could. Especially the smell. God, everything in here just smelled too much like Richie. It was a hint of smoke that was sweet at the same time. Eddie fucking loved it.

 

He wanted to lay there forever, and never get up.

 

Eddie eventually dragged himself out of the bed and stretched his arms. He stood there for a second, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, when he spotted a piece of notebook paper taped on Richie’s dresser. It had Eddie’s name scribbled on it. Eddie hesitated. As if there was some other Eddie hiding in the closet or some shit. He reluctantly took the paper off of the dresser and unfolded it.

 

_**Eddo Spaghetto:  
Morning, sleepyhead! I hope you’re more refreshed. Anyway, I was thinking that I might be home around five or six tonight. I’m not positive though-- I’ll call your house and let you know, okay? I might need to stay over there longer.** _

 

**_I just wanted to seriously thank you for coming over last night. I know you don’t like to see me like that, and I really am sorry. I hate hurting your feelings. But you really made my night. It takes a real friend to give up the things you want to do, and listen to others. Thank you, so so so so much._ **

 

**_You can hang out here if you want to-- I’d avoid Mrs. K for a while… She’s crazy. But sexy. I guess that’s where you get it from, huh? Anyway, you can keep the clothes I gave you. They don’t fit me anymore. I have plenty of food for you downstairs, so help yourself._ **

 

**_Also… nice idea for the pillow wall. Even if you broke it down, haha. My lips are sealed. I won’t say anything to the others if you don’t want me to. Cuddling = Confidential_ **

 

**_Be sure to get your eight hours, you cranky monster!!_ **

 

- _ **Trashmouth♥️**_

  
_Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shitttttt._

 

_We cuddled._

 

_We ACTUALLY cuddled._

 

_I broke the barrier down._

 

**What is going on?**

 

Eddie folded the paper up and stuck it in his pocket. This was something that Stan needed to see. He could practically hear him now. ‘Oh my god, Eddie, just tell him already! You’re clearly have a thing with him!’

 

Eddie impulsively shook his head in disagreement. _No, Stan, we don’t. We just… holy shit, what DID we just do? Friends don’t cuddle with each other like that… they don’t almost kiss each other… or flirt with each other… but we’re just friends._ That didn’t even sound right to Eddie, but what else was he supposed to say? It was the truth.

 

Eddie signed, already dreading the conversation. His gaze traveled over to Richie’s desk. Richie was horrible at being organized. Empty water bottles, random scraps of paper, candy wrappers, and various kinds of clutter littered his desk. Richie had explained to him billions of times that he liked to be messy. He had his own system that way. Eddie would always confide to him that was ridiculous.

 

_"To each his own, Eds."_

 

The least Eddie could do was help tidy up while he was still here. As a thank you. Thank you for letting me sleep near your beautiful face, because it was truly an experience. He didn’t dare mess with Richie’s desk, not wanting to screw up his ‘system’. Eddie looked around, wondering what he should do. He really did love Richie’s room. He always has.

 

One wall was completely covered in posters. It was one of the best collages Eddie had ever seen. Every inch of the wall had some sort of poster on it, period. They were all related to music in some way. Some were bands, some were individual artists, or some were album covers. There was the occasional ‘exclusive’ poster for some tour. Eddie usually picked one or two of them up for him whenever he went to the thrift store. The last time he was there, he was sure to pick up a Whitney Houston poster.

 

It was an inside joke between them. Whitney Houston was an icon at their school who girls only looked up to. The trend had died off by now, but Richie had secretly loved her music for so long. One afternoon in class, Eddie heard Richie humming “ _I Wanna Dance With Somebody”._ Eddie had eventually caught on to it, and wouldn’t leave Richie alone about it. He constantly shoved her in his face without a break.

 

Eddie spotted the poster after searching for a good minute. He eventually found it, squashed between a Vanilla Ice and Prince poster. Eddie grinned to himself, then turned back around. _I’ll make the bed… maybe pile his clothes up in a corner… and whatever trash I can find will go downstairs._ Eddie seemed satisfied with that plan, and began to work.

 

It didn’t take him too long. He had straightened up Richie’s mattress, which had almost fallen off the bed frame. He had dragged Richie’s clothes to a corner of the room, now revealing the floor. He had also gathered all of the trash in the room, which was mainly candy wrappers. Eddie dropped a blanket at some point, and when he went to pick it up, he saw something under the bed. It was an old shoebox. Eddie opened it out of pure curiosity, and was greeted by various brands of candy.

 

_Explains the wrappers._

 

He scanned the room once again, checking to see if he had missed anything. It was… better. Eddie would clean it more if he could, but he wasn’t sure how Richie would react to that. He might be upset that he cleaned in the first place. Whatever. I just wanted to, okay? Eddie turned to leave, then stopped. He went over to Richie’s desk and took out a slip of notebook paper. He scribbled a response, folded the paper carefully, and laid it on Richie’s dresser.

 

He wasn’t flirting. Stan was wrong. It was just… something else.

 

…

Eddie wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but when he saw his mother waiting for him at the kitchen table, a massive wave of disappointment hit him. He was uncomfortable with any conversation they had with each other. Eddie didn’t go into details with his personal life with her. She hated his friends anyway, so it wasn’t much of a problem. They weren’t meaningful conversations either. _Yes, school’s fine. My grades are fine. Yes, I’m up to date on my prescription. No, I don’t need a refill. Okay. I’m going to a friend’s house now. Bye, ma._

 

Things were just tense.

 

“Hey, ma,” Eddie greeted as he shut the door behind him. His mother stared at him in a way that he didn’t necessarily like. She looked… not angry, but she didn’t seem friendly at all.

 

“Where were you exactly?”

 

“Richie’s house.”

 

She wrinkled her nose. “Oh. _Him_.” Eddie raised an eyebrow in surprise. Richie was one of his friends that she could actually tolerate. Richie was respectful to her. He still joked around, but held back when it came to her. She was never Richie’s number one fan, but she tolerated him.

 

“Yeah. I’m actually about to go over to Stan’s, so--”

 

“I suppose that’s his sweatshirt.” She huffed. “I guess he’s responsible for those nails of yours, too. Isn’t he?” She retorted in a nasty tone. Eddie quickly looked at his hand, and was greeted by his light pink nails. Eddie was a bit overwhelmed.

 

_This was going too quick for him. This is it. Here it is. You can do this. You can do this. Don’t cry. Just…you can do it._

 

“I was the one who came up with the nail-painting idea.” Eddie corrected calmly. He was trying to appear strong. Hopefully she’ll back off that way.

 

“You don’t know how to listen, do you?” His mother straightened herself up and glared at him dead in the eyes. She pointed at him. “You’ve become one of _them_. You’re a homosexual, aren’t you?”

 

Eddie’s heart sank. For four years, he had imagined this very same conversation. He had jolted awake in the middle of the night from a conversation similar to this one. He assumed, with the way his mother was, that she might not accept him. That she’d lose it the second he said it. Eddie never believed that his mother would truly look at him the same. He had just accepted the fact.

 

But holy hell, it hurt a billion times worse when it was said directly to him.

 

“I… Mom, please try to understand,” Eddie pled desperately, all of his previous strength gone. “I didn’t know… I was--”

 

“Don’t you dare try to pretend!” She snapped, standing up from her chair. She slid a paper on top of the table. A folded piece of notebook paper. “You tell me what this note is.”

 

Eddie’s eyes burned into the paper. The note Richie had given him what seemed like ages ago. The note that Eddie slid into his pillowcase, because he loved it too much. When Richie had called him the night before, to make sure that he was alright. The day that Eddie accidentally came out to Stan. The day when Richie had gotten his bracelet.

 

_**♥️Eddie♥️** _

 

“I know what this looks like,” Eddie stammered, trying to pull himself together. “But I promise that we’re not dating or anything. We… we were just playing around. We always act like this. He’s always acted like this. That’s just how he is.”

 

“Oh? Is that so? So he’s been like this,” She snatched the paper off of the tabletop and flung the piece of paper at him. “Since the beginning? He was gay from the start. I should of known. I used to think it was from the little attention from his fucked up parents--”

  
“Mom!”

 

“But clearly I was wrong. I should of stopped this from the beginning. I’ve always suspected that something was wrong with him…” She paused for a moment. “For god’s sake, Eddie, it’s obvious that the boy likes you!”

 

  
Eddie felt pure anger burning inside his chest. He flew his hands up in the air. “So what? What’s the big fucking deal? Why is it so bad for him to fucking like me?”

 

  
She snapped her head up at Eddie. It was too late to go back now. He had said it, and he couldn’t take it back. They both shot each other one of the coldest glares a person could handle. Eddie’s mother grunted. “See? He’s infected you. You’re so ill, you’re not able to think clearly.”

 

“Can you please stop treating this like I’m sick or something? Can you please just try to listen to me for once?” Eddie barked, feeling the blood rush up to his cheeks. He clenched his fists and took a deep breath. “I don’t think you realize how much you’re hurting me with this.”

 

“What are you trying to say, Eddie?” She spat.

 

“I’m trying to say that… I love him. I fucking love Richie Tozier!”

 

Silence.

 

Tense, uncomfortable silence.

 

Eddie had finally admitted to someone that he was in love with Richie.

 

“You wouldn’t know what love is if it came and slapped you in the face.” His mother sneered, crossing her arms. “You’re young and naive, and you think every little thing is important. I don’t want to hear it from you.”

 

“Would you let someone hurt me?” Eddie asked, tears starting to well up in his eyes.

 

“What?”

 

  
“Would you let someone hurt me?” Eddie repeated, trying to ignore the fact that his voice was shaking. “Because he wouldn’t. He didn’t. He got himself practically killed yesterday for me. All because one person was acting like I was the nastiest thing in existence, like you are now. That’s when I felt it in my heart. I’ve run to him so many times with my problems… he cares for me. He doesn’t lie to me, or make me feel like utter shit, or anything. So if you don’t approve of me loving another boy… then I don’t know what to tell you.”

 

  
She stood there, just staring at Eddie. Her face was tight with malice, and he saw her eye slightly twitch. She took a deep breath and rubbed her temples. “Leave.”

 

Eddie felt a tear roll down his cheek. “Mom, please--”

 

  
“Leave. Get out of my sight. I can’t stand to look at you right now.”

 

  
“Fine! I don’t know why I even tried! You never listen to me!” Eddie stomped past her and ran up the stairs, trying to ignore the tears spilling out onto his cheeks. He bolted to his room and grabbed his backpack. He threw open his drawers and dug whatever clothes he could find. He wasn’t sure how long he’d be gone-- long enough for her to come to her senses.

 

He shoved a couple of sweaters into his backpack, along with some gym shorts. He threw his old walkman in there too. Oh, how could he forget his fanny pack, too? He made sure there was enough room for his school binders. Perfect. Everything fit. He slung the backpack on his shoulder, and adjusted the straps. He got on his knees and frantically searched for the key.

 

 _Where was it? I thought I-- there it was._ Eddie was given a spare key to Stan’s house a long time ago. He had done the same for Stan. They both gave each other a key so that if there was ever a horrible situation, and they needed somewhere to go, they could easily access a place. It wasn’t often-- usually it had to be serious-- but it was useful. That’s how close they were. Eddie snatched the key from under the bed and made his way to his bedroom door.

 

Eddie raced back down the stairs and as he passed the kitchen, he spotted the note on the table. He did a double-take, making sure that she wasn’t around. He swiped it off of the counter and slipped it into his pocket. He was not about to give her the satisfaction of keeping something that was important to him. He let out a loud huff and swung open the door. Eddie turned around and flipped off the room. He slammed the door and started to angrily head to Stan’s house.

 

Stan would let him stay for a little while. Hopefully.

 

By the time Eddie made it to Stan’s house, he had cooled off a little. He wasn’t necessarily angry anymore, but more upset with what had just happened. It was all starting to kick in. I was kicked out of my house, by my mother, for liking a guy. Lovely. He noticed that there were no cars in the driveway, so it was possible that he might not even be home. It didn’t matter, because Eddie was walking up the porch anyway. He unlocked the door with the key and stuffed back in his pocket.

 

“Stan?” Eddie yelled. There was no response. Eddie slipped his shoes off, seeing that the kitchen light was on. He had to be home. Stan wouldn’t leave the lights on and leave for anything. “Stan! It’s Eddie!”

 

Nothing. Stan must be upstairs. It was hard to hear up there anyway. Eddie climbed up the stairs, checking to see if he was anywhere up there. He spotted his door, and marched to it. He was so ready to rant. He wanted to let someone know, and Stan was perfect for this. Stan was a fantastic listener, and when he needed to have an input, he knew exactly what to say.

 

Eddie swung the door open, bursting into the room. “Stan, I need--” Eddie quickly stopped talking when he observed the scene in front of him. Sure, Stan was in there, but he was definitely not alone. There Bill sat, his arms wrapped around Stan’s back. Stan had his hands on Bill’s shoulders, and oh man, they were kissing each other. _Intensely_.

 

They both stopped immediately, their heads turning to face Eddie. They had a look of genuine surprise on their face. Eyebrows were raised and their mouths hung open. Stan let go of Bill’s shoulders as Eddie began to scramble out of the room. As he backed up, he hit his shoulder against the wall. “Oh my god, oh my god, I am SO sorry, oh my god! I didn’t mean to! I didn’t know you were--”

 

“Hey, Eddie, relax,” Bill chuckled warmly. Eddie stopped and raised an eyebrow at him. Bill recognized the look on Eddie’s face, and brought his wrist out into the open. “I think you saw it coming, anyway.”

 

Eddie gazed down at it, and was greeted by a pale blue bracelet. It complimented well against his tanned skin. It was thin, and almost looked like a rubber bracelet. He stood there for a minute, trying to fit the pieces together, when Stan brought his wrist out too. Stan had a bracelet too, completely identical to Bill’s.

 

That’s when Eddie figured it out. Bill had finally gotten his bracelet. He had loved Stan after all, which in reality, wasn’t too shocking. “Oh. It’s about damn time, Bill.” Eddie grinned, a wave of sudden relief flooding over him. “Stan’s been waiting for you for months now!”

 

  
“Wait… you knew?” Bill asked, his eyes widening. “That Stan liked me?”

 

“They all knew, Bill. It doesn’t really take a brain surgeon to figure it out,” Stan shrugged, a smile parting on his lips.

 

“Ugh! You guys are so cute together!” Eddie cheered, grinning at them. He’d been waiting for this for a long ass time, that’s for sure. “I can’t believe this has finally happened, oh my god!”

 

“You know who would be cute together, too?” Stan gave an almost hellish smile to Bill. “Richie and Eddie.”

 

“Don’t even get me started!” Bill let out a noise of annoyance.

 

“Fuck you. We slept together last night.”

 

“I bet you--” Stan quickly shut his mouth and snapped his head in Eddie’s direction. “WHAT?? I-- YOU-- HE--- _WHAT??_ ”

 

“But… you guys aren’t even a thing! How the hell did you guys **already** have sex together??” Bill asked in utter shock. “I-- _what???_ ”

 

“Oh, for god’s sake, _NO_.” Eddie sighed, rubbing his temples. “We didn’t have sex, you dumbfucks. We just… we slept in the same bed last night, that’s all.”

 

Stan let out an enormous sigh of relief as he threw himself back onto the bed. “Thank god. I was about to lose my mind.”

 

Bill smacked the back of Stan’s neck. “YOU IDIOT, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS? They actually have a chance together!”

 

“Ow, okay, that wasn’t necessary.”

 

“You’re a dumbass, Bill. Both of you are, actually.”

 

“I hope you don’t mind me asking… but… what’s with the bag? Did something happen?” Stan pointed to the backpack slung over Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie sulked and felt extremely guilty. He didn’t want to spoil the moment at all.

 

“A lot happened last night and a few minutes ago.” Eddie sighed heavily, rubbing his eyes. He set his backpack on the floor next to him, and cracked his knuckles. “I’ll catch you up on what happened, Bill. You were going to find out eventually.”

 

“Well, go on.” Bill crossed his arms. “Tell me.”

 

“Well… big shocker, I’m gay.” Eddie swayed his arms around for a second. “I… That’s what I went to go tell Richie on Friday. At Jefferey’s Hill? I came out to him.”

 

“So that’s what that was.”

 

“Yeah. Oh man, he actually got pissed. Not at me or anything, of course. Just when I told him that I’ve kept it in for so long.” Eddie looked down at the floor. “Yeah… I got pretty emotional, let’s just say that.”

  
“I get that.” Bill nodded, giving him a reassuring look. “It’s tough to pour all of that out.”

 

“Then… I don’t know. We just… started to lean in. We had been hugging, and we were so fucking close, Bill. I could feel his breath on my skin. We were about to kiss. I was like, halfway there, and… it just didn’t happen.”

 

“ **NO**! Wait, so you’re telling me that you didn’t kiss him?” Bill raised an eyebrow. Eddie hesitated slightly, causing Bill to groan. “You have to be kidding me. Don’t hype me up like that, man! That’s… ugh! Why?”

 

“You’re mad about that?” Eddie asked in surprise.

 

“There’s more to be mad about? Lovely!”

 

“Oh, aren’t you in for a treat.” Stan grinned. “Go ahead, Eddie.”

 

“Well, right when we were about to kiss, Steven Fratter shows up with those two other guys.” Eddie explained sadly. Bill impatiently sighed. “That’s when everything went to shit. Our moment was over. It also doesn’t help that Richie and Steven despise each other.”

 

“Despise?” Stan chuckled quietly, shaking his head. “They literally want to murder each other, for fucks sake!”

 

“So, Steven sort of insulted me a bit. It honestly wasn’t the most horrible thing in the world, I’ll admit it.” Eddie paused for a second. “I honestly forgot what Richie said to Steven, but it pissed him the fuck off.”

 

“Did he say something back to Richie?”

 

“No. He mocked me a bit, because he thinks we’re a thing, I guess. I don’t blame him for thinking that, though. I mean, he did walk in at a pretty awkward time, let’s just say that.”  
“I mean, yeah.” Stan shrugged. “How could you expect him to believe you? I’m just being honest here. You said it yourself-- you were inches apart from each other.”

 

“So what else happened?”

 

  
“I think Steven’s overheard some of our conversations or something, because… he sort of called me Eds. Not in a friendly way at all.”

 

“That was a mistake, wasn’t it?” Bill asked, glancing at Stan.

 

“I’d think so, considering that Richie punched him in the jaw right after that.” Eddie sniffed in annoyance. “I couldn’t do anything to stop it. It happened so fast. Besides, those two guys grabbed me. God, he’s such an idiot.”

 

“Fratter or Richie?” Stan raised an eyebrow.

 

Eddie furrowed his eyebrows. “Umm, both of them."

 

“Okay, so they got into a fight. I’m not too shocked.” Bill shrugged. “But does something else happen?”

 

“So after they fight intensely for a while, and I manage to get loose. I tried to shut it down, and he backed off. They all left, and I looked over at Richie… and I felt it.” Eddie looked down at his shoes, and felt a smile part on his lips. “That feeling in your heart.”

 

He glanced back at them. Stan was grinning, and Bill had a hand covering his own mouth. “Eddie… you fell in love? With Richie?”

 

Eddie felt his face heat up. “Yeah. I did. It’s just… he defended me and got hurt for me. It’s… that’s the reason why I started to like him in the first place.”

  
“I… I’m speechless.” Bill brightly smiled. “I’ve always gotten that vibe from you… that you liked him. I just could never prove it, you know? I’ve secretly hoped that you guys would get together or something, but I always thought it would never happen.”

 

“You did?” Eddie blinked.

 

“Well, yeah. You guys flirt with each other all the time, so it’s actually more surprising that you guys _aren’t_ in a relationship.”

 

“That’s exactly what I said!” Stan burst out. “See Eddie? It wasn’t just me who thought that. You’re just oblivious as hell.”

 

“Whatever!” Eddie rolled his eyes, trying to ignore the burning sensation in his cheeks. “Anyway, we went back to his house, and I helped him with his injuries. We didn’t talk about the kiss. I just went home afterwards. So after a while, I went to sleep, and I woke up in the middle of the night. I just… got a feeling that something wasn’t right.”

 

“What do you mean?” Stan asked, a look of confusion spreading across his face. Stan didn’t know about this part. Bill was caught up, and now the two were on the same boat.

 

“I just… you know how Rich is with sleeping. He told me before I left that he hasn’t been sleeping well recently. That’s all I could really think about. It’s just… I don’t know. I think you both know how I feel about his insomnia.” Eddie stopped for a minute. “We’ve always had that agreement where we can just go to each other’s houses if there is a problem. So… I got up and went to his house.”

 

“In the middle of the night?” Bill inquired, his voice a lot quieter. Eddie reluctantly nodded. “He wasn’t asleep, was he?”

 

  
“Of course he wasn’t. I got there and he got a bit defensive. He was acting super suspicious, and I had no idea why.” Eddie wondered if he really needed to tell them the next part, since it was a bit heavy. “Well… it turns out that he was trying to cut his bracelet off.”

 

Stan and Bill exchanged a look that Eddie didn’t find pleasant. Bill’s eyebrows furrowed, and Stan cleared his throat. “That’s not possible. The bracelets can’t come off.”

 

“I didn’t say he was able to. I’m saying that he tried.” It took them a minute to realize what he was talking about. The color drained from both of their faces. Stan immediately looked down at his legs, and Bill stared at Eddie. “Yeah, I was… It really fucking hurt my feelings.”

 

Eddie then explained that he attempted to lighten Richie’s mood by painting nails. He graciously showed them his own nails, to which they complimented. He also elaborated on the whole ‘sleeping together’ situation. Yeah, apparently they cuddled. He showed them both the note from earlier.

 

“He thinks Richie doesn’t like him back,” Stan rolled his eyes, handing the paper to Bill.

 

“Uh… yeah.” Bill handed the paper back to Eddie and gave Stan a certain look. He cocked an eyebrow and shifted his eyes a bit. Stan stared at him but didn’t say anything.

 

“So after I woke up this morning, I wanted to go to your house, Stan. I went home to drop off my stuff, but my mother was waiting for me.” Eddie hesitated to say anything. He glanced at his nails and sighed. “She saw a note that Richie had given me, and long story short, I’ve been kicked out of my house. For being a homo.”

 

  
“Eddie…” Bill trailed off.

 

“It’s okay. I swear. I just… I need somewhere to stay for a day or two.” Eddie confided. “I’m not trying to invade on your privacy or anything, but--”

 

“Shut up. You can stay here as long as you need to.” Stan agreed, slightly nodding.

 

“Does Richie know about this?” Bill asked, crossing his legs. “I wouldn’t think he does.”

  
“No. He left before any of this happened.” Eddie groaned as immediate realization hit him. “Shit. He said he was gonna call me tonight. I won’t be able to answer the phone now. Fuck.”

 

“Hey, it’s okay. I have his grandmother’s phone number at home. I can call him and let him know to call Stan’s phone.” Bill explained, a grin forming on his face. “I’m sorry, but I’m helping out anyway I can. You two seriously need to get together.”

 

“Preach!” Stan giggled. They looked at each other for a moment.

 

“Okay, okay,” Eddie cringed, putting his hands up. “I’m going to the bathroom. Please, resume your makeout session. Feel free to summon me whenever you’re completely done.”

 

“You’re such a hypocrite. We all know that you wouldn’t be able to keep your hands off Richie, now would you?” Bill smirked, causing Eddie to blush. “I cannot wait for the day you two become a couple. I dare you to try to keep your hands to yourself.”

 

Before Eddie could protest, Stan snorted. “Too late. They were holding hands underneath the lunch table on Friday. They might be secretly dating for all we know.”

 

“NO WAY!!!”

 

“STAN! How did you--” Eddie stopped mid-sentence. He threw his hands up in frustration, once again. “I give up! Please, continue your tongue sex!” He stormed out of the room, still able to hear their laughs through the wall.

 

_I liked holding his hand, thank you very fucking much._

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sneak Peek of the next chapter: 
> 
> "Really? Well, I can't wait to see you on Monday. I had a lot of fun last night."
> 
>  
> 
> "Technically it was this morning,"
> 
>  
> 
> "Well, you know what I mean. I just... I love being around you."


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long one... sorry :p

  
“Hello?”

 

“Well, honk my fucking horns, if it isn't Eddie Spaghetti! I was literally just about to call you.”

 

Eddie felt himself smile. He loved the sound of Richie's voice. “Really? Well… Bill gave me your grandmother’s phone number, and I just wanted to check up on you.” Eddie paused slightly. “How are you? And how's your grandma?”

 

Richie chuckled warmly, which made Eddie almost drop the phone. “Oh, she's going great. Believe it or not, she actually listens to me. I told her about the others, and you. She wants to meet you, actually.”

 

Eddie gasped. “She… wants to meet me?”

 

“Of course. I've told her all about you. How much of a feisty and cute munchkin you are.”

 

Eddie groaned. “Great. She probably thinks I'm super weird.” Richie snickered and opened his mouth to make a snarky comment, but Eddie began to talk. “Now, enough chit chat. We cuddled this morning.”

 

Silence. _Fuck. Fuckkkkkk. Did I make a mistake? Should I just have stayed quiet?_

 

“Sure we did. And you were an absolute monster. You wouldn't let me get up.”

 

“So you're admitting that we did?” Eddie asked, and impulsively started tapping his finger against the receiver. “You broke down the pillows?”

 

“Woah, woah, hold on a second.” Richie chuckled. “I believe you did. I woke up this morning, more worn out than a prostitute in Las Vegas, when I noticed that there you were there. Laying on my chest like a little angel. If you wanted a hookup, you could of just asked--”

 

“ _Richie_.”

 

Richie stopped talking immediately. “Sorry, Eds. You just surprised me this morning, that's all. I thought it was a mistake, but… you wouldn't let me go. And I just… it was extremely sweet and flattering.”

 

Eddie's heart practically jumped out of his skin. “I.. Ugh, that's so embarrassing. That I wouldn't let go of you… like I was some clingy idiot.”

 

“A clingy _sleepy_ idiot,”

 

“That's it, I'm hanging up.”

 

“No! I'll be nice, I promise. I'm a good boy. Anyway, I meant to tell you that I won't be back until Sunday night. So I'll see you Monday.” Eddie groaned loudly and Richie sighed. “I don't like it either, but that's just how it is.”

 

“It's not your fault. I just…” Eddie hesitated, clicking his tongue. “..Like seeing you, that's all.”

 

“Well, you know what? You get to witness an ass-beating on Monday. Bill called me an hour ago and explained what had happened. Your mom better square the fuck up because I'm going over there.”

 

“Richie, it's okay. I figured this would happen--”

 

“No, it's not okay. Do you want me to repeat my speech on how much I fucking despise homophobes? I'll gladly do it.”

 

Eddie exhaled deeply. “Richie.. let's not talk about my bitch of a mother right now. I called to talk to you, not to hear how unfair my fucking mom is.”

 

“Of course.” Richie's tone automatically changed and Eddie heard a snort over the phone. “I heard that you got a load of Bill and Stan making moves on each other earlier.”

 

Eddie snickered at the memory. “I felt so horrible. I walked in on them sucking face. It was pretty damn traumatic.”

 

“Sucking face?” Richie chuckled. “Who did you learn that phrase from?”

 

“I learned it from you, dumbass.” Without thought, Eddie automatically rolled his eyes. “But anyway, I'm happy for them. They've been wanting to be together for so long now.”

 

“Oh please, I know how awful that is myself.” Richie commented.

 

**Crackle**

 

The sharp noise made Eddie cringe and being the phone away from his ear. “I guess the connections breaking.”

 

“I guess so. I'll see you on Monday, okay Eddie Spaghetti?” Richie must of heard Eddie huff, because he kept talking. “Okay, I'll make it a special reunion. I'll give you plenty of hugs, deal?”

 

“Oh, fuck off, Rich.”

 

“And I'll pick you up and spin you around, then we have to gather the others for a speech I prepared just for you--”

 

“I’m hanging up now!”

 

“Oh, and one more thing, dear.” Eddie felt his face flush from the additional name Richie had added. “If you want to cuddle with me again, you know where to call. I didn't mind it at all, and I'd love to do it again.”

 

Eddie choked up any words he could of said in that situation. He could practically FEEL Richie's sly grin right now. “I--”

 

“That's my que to go. I'll see you soon, Eddie Spaghetti! Sending hugs!” Richie made a kissy sound, almost like a _mwah_. Then the line went dead. Eddie was still holding the stupid fucking phone, mainly in shock.

 

“What'd he say?”

 

Eddie snapped his head around and faced Stan, who was standing in the doorway. He had red plaid pajama pants on with a gray flannel on. His hair was frizzed out. Bill would probably jump him. “How long have you been standing there?” 

  
“Long enough to know that Richie must of flirted hard for you to look like that.”

 

Eddie rolled his eyes and slammed the receiver down. “Let's just go to bed.”

 

“If I hear you even mention Richie in your sleep, I'm throwing a pillow at you.” Stan smirked wildly as Eddie furrowed his eyebrows. “And oh-- I'm sleeping on the floor.”

 

“I am NOT doing this again! Sleep in your bed, for god’s sake!”

 

Stan stared at him for a second. “Good point. I'm not sharing a bed with you. The floor is yours. At least I'm decent enough to give you an air mattress.”

 

\--

Monday rolled around before Eddie knew it.

 

That Saturday night was filled with giggly talks with Stan about cute dating stereotypes. Believe it or not, Stan knew his stuff when it came to dating. He acted in ways around Eddie that would totally surprise the losers.

 

Sunday was spent with being the ultimate third wheel between Stan and Bill, which was painful but nice. It was nice to see them together, because they were extremely cute together. Yet, it was painful because it reminded him of the fact that he was not dating the person he wanted.

 

When Eddie was waken up with Stan violently shaking his arm, he groaned and rolled back over. All he wanted to do was fucking sleep.

 

“Eddie, for fucks sake, get up! We're really going to be late if you don't get up. God dammit, you're such a heavy sleeper!”

 

“Go away, Stan,” Eddie grumbled tiredly, covering his face with a pillow. He yawned and tightly shut his eyes.

 

“We’re going to be super fucking late if you don’t get up now. It’s 7:00!”

 

“We don’t have to be there until 8:00,”

 

“Well, fine. You sleep yourself away, then. I just thought that you’d want to get prettied up for your boyfriend.” Stan stopped shaking his arm and got up off the floor. “Be my guest.”

 

  
“Sometimes Stan, I really dislike you. This is one of those times.” Eddie grumbled, pulling himself off the air mattress.

 

  
“You'll thank me later. Now go get dressed.”

 

They both got ready in a decent amount of time. What Stan and Eddie had in common was that they hated things out of order. They had specific schedules they followed, for example, a morning routine. While Eddie was a sleeping monster, when he woke up, he was on whatever task he needed to finish. They both didn’t play around; they were also ready to leave by 7:45-- which Stan found perfect.

 

And no, Stan wasn't necessarily wrong. Eddie did want to look nice for Richie. Not any particular reason, of course. He just… wanted to. He dug a pair of overalls out of his bag, along with a nice pale blue sweater. It was a size too big, but Eddie didn't mind. He completed the getup with a pair of white canvas sneakers.

 

Stan gave him a long look before smirking. “I knew it.”

 

“Shut up and let's go.” 

 

  
Stan typically drove Eddie to school in the mornings anyway, so it was actually more convenient for Eddie to stay over. See, Eddie never took his driving test because his mother convinced him not to (safety concerns) -- he’d be taking it next year. They both piled into Stan’s car, stacking their book bags in the backseat. Stan was also nice enough to provide some coffee for both of them, mainly because he knew how much Eddie hated mornings.

 

  
“Hey Eddie-- what time is it?” Stan asked as he fastened his seatbelt.

 

Eddie looked down at his watch. “Umm, 7:52. I--”

 

That’s when Eddie saw it.

 

“What was that, Eddie? I didn’t hear what you said,”

 

Eddie didn’t respond. He was too focused on his wrist to pay attention. He was 100% positive that this bracelet was not on his arm yesterday.

 

_Wait. It can't be. It's not possible._

 

“Stan… how many days ago was Friday?” Eddie asked in such a serious tone that he made himself shudder.

 

  
“Um…” Stan silently counted on his fingers, then glanced at Eddie. “Today would be… the start of the fourth day. Why?”

 

_ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod_

 

  
“Can you see it?” Eddie moved his arm to the side, and Stan glanced at it.

 

“...See what? I--” Stan caught himself before finishing his sentence. “Wait. Do you see something there?”

 

  
“I see a white bracelet that wasn’t on my arm yesterday.”

 

  
“...Oh my god. That has to be your soul-bracelet!!”

 

Eddie gazed at it for a minute. Then he burst out laughing. “Damn. I never thought I would ever hear those words. I thought I’d be the only person on earth without one.”

 

  
“So… it’s a fact now.” Stan looked over at him and grinned. “You get hard for Richie.”

 

  
“Oh, for fuck’s sake--” Eddie groaned, covering his face with his hands. Stan started to snicker. “I hate you so much.”

 

  
“Aww, I'm sorry, I'm just--” Stan started to chuckle lightly. “My boy’s grown up!!

 

They pull into the school parking lot as Stan continues to gush over it. Eddie kept looking at the bracelet, his heart over the moon. It was such an amazing feeling.

 

  
Would you know it, Stan and Eddie park their car, and run into Ben and Beverly. Holding hands, of course.

 

“Hey look! There's Eddie and Stan! Hey guys!” Ben smiles, happily waving. “How's it going?”

 

Stan points to Eddie as he slung his backpack over his shoulder. “Why don't you ask little lover boy here?”

 

“Wait, don't tell me-- you got laid.” Beverly grinned. “By you know who.”

 

Eddie ignores the comment and clears his throat. “I got my bracelet guys!” Eddie smiles brightly, and impulsively brings out his wrist.

 

Beverly let out an ear piercing shriek that caused other people in the parking lot to turn and look. “FUCK YEAH, EDDIE!! HOLY SHIT I AM SO PROUD OH MY GOD I THINK I’M GONNA CRY, OH DEAR JESUS--”

 

Ben giggles and pats Eddie on the shoulder with approval. “That's amazing, Eddie! Love is just fucking awesome!” Eddie raises his eyebrows and his smile grows. “Who is it? Can I guess?”

 

“Eh, why not?”

 

“Richie,”

 

Eddie doesn’t hesitate and tells Ben immediately. “Yeah, it’s Richie. I love Richie, Ben.” Eddie’s confidence sort of shocks all three of them, seeing as Eddie isn’t the most outgoing person.

 

  
“Okay, okay. That’s not too surprising. You two flirt with each other all the time.” Ben chuckles.

 

  
“See? Even Ben knows that.” Stan giggles. Eddie just rolls his eyes at them.

 

  
“This is just so FUCKING awesome!! Eddie finally has his bracelet! He loves Richie, guys!” Beverly grins wildly. “Give him a round of applause!”

 

All three of them started to clap loudly. Eddie felt his face flush, but yet he wasn't embarrassed. More or less flattered. Stan let out a whistle and everyone all began to laugh.

 

“Hey, wait.” Ben cleared his throat. “What are you going to tell Richie?”

 

  
Eddie froze. He hadn’t thought about that.  
He didn’t want to exclude Richie. It wouldn’t be right. Yet, Richie would ask Eddie who he loved. Sure, Eddie could lie, but why would he want to do that? To Richie? Eddie was, indeed, a horrible liar, and Richie knew Eddie so well, he’d know something was up. Which would result in even MORE prodding.

 

“I… don’t know.”

 

  
“Why don’t you just tell him that you got a bracelet?” Beverly piped up. She shifted her backpack from one shoulder to the other. “You don’t have to tell him that you love him.”

 

  
“Tell who what?” A voice came behind them, causing Eddie to almost jump out of his skin. Thank god it was Bill. He ruffled Stan’s hair.

 

  
“We were going to tell you that you should get a room with Stan.” Beverly grinned. Ben snorted loudly.

 

  
“We were talking about Eddie’s dilemma.”

 

“Dilemma? Oooh, give me the gossip.”

 

"Yeah. As of this day in September, 1993, the loner’s club has been forever abolished.” Eddie took a bow, gaining an applause from all of them. “Because I, Eddie Kaspbrak, now have a fucking bracelet!”

 

  
Bill clears his throat loudly. “Ladies and gentlemen,” He begins, pulling a giggle out of Stan. “On this warm day of September 20th, 1993, Edward Kaspbrak has now become a man. He now wears the badge of honor that most heroes are given in the name of romance. His heart will forever belong to the man of Richard Tozier. Being the last, but certainly not least, of the loser’s club to gain an upgrade, I now pronounce that the official ‘loner’s club’ is now formally out of business. All in favor, say ‘I’,”

 

All of them happily cheered.

 

  
“Okay, now in all seriousness, what are you going to say to him?” Ben asked after a minute.

 

  
“I’ll just say that I have a bracelet. I won’t tell him… you know, that I love him.” Stan and Bill shared a glance at each other, and there was a faint look of panic in their eyes.

 

“What’s that look for?” Eddie asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

 

“Nothing.”

 

“Speaking of Richie, is he in the school already? He owes me a pack of the good shit.” Beverly asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

 

“His truck is here. Mike probably carpooled with him. His car’s been acting funny lately,” Bill reported to them.

 

  
“Well, let’s go in. I want to put my stuff away before everyone floods the hallway.” Stan started to walk ahead of them. Bill caught up with him and held his hand. Eddie glanced at Ben and Bev, who were still holding hands.

 

  
“Oh, wonderful. I’ve also upgraded from a third wheel to a fifth wheel.”

 

  
“Don’t worry. With Richie around, you won’t be one for much longer.” Beverly winked at him, and Eddie groaned.

 

They all made it into the school, and it didn’t take long to find Mike and Richie. They were leaning against some of the lockers, laughing with each other.

 

Eddie’s heart skipped a beat, and he automatically felt himself blush.  _Dammit, stop it, Eddie. It's just Richie. Things are fine._ Richie looked at them and gave a huge smile, causing Eddie to impulsively pull down his sleeve.

 

Mike spotted them first. “Hey! What’s up?”

 

“We’re just losers being losers, Mike.” Stan grinned, giving him a high-five.

 

Mike looked at all of them with bright eyes. “Pleasure to see everyone!”

 

“Wait, wait-- I have to talk about what happened on the way here.” Richie sighed, exasperated. “Oh man, it was something. We almost got carjacked by a hooker.”

 

  
Normally, Eddie would listen and remind them that yes, he was in fact an idiot from that first sentence alone. However… Eddie’s eyes slid down to Richie’s wrist… and…

 

  
_Wait_.

 

  
His eyes locked onto a bracelet on his arm.

 

_  
Oh, that’s funny. For a second there, I thought--_

 

  
Eddie stopped mid-thought.  
There was a white bracelet on Richie’s arm. Strikingly similar to Eddie’s.  
Eddie looked at his own bracelet, then back at Richie’s. Back and forth. Back and forth.

 

_  
Nobody could see his bracelet a few weeks ago._

 

  
This _has_ to be a coincidence.

 

  
“Can you believe that?” Richie snickered. “At a fucking gas station? This town just gets shittier and shittier by the day.”

 

“That was a beautiful story, Richie.” Stan rolled his eyes.

 

“Hey, it was actually terrifying.” Mike put in. “But enough about the hooker, let's talk about Bill and Stan for a minute. My OTP,”

 

“Have you fucked yet?” Richie asked with a snort. “You guys need to.”

 

  
“For once in my life, Richie Tozier, I agree with you.” Beverly laughed, elbowing him in the ribs.

 

Eddie was still trying to figure out what the **HELL** was happening.

 

  
“Actually, you two have missed the new gossip, thank you very much.” Bill rolled his eyes. “Don’t you have something you wanted to say, Eddie?”

 

  
Eddie snapped back to reality. “What?”

 

  
“You wanted to tell Mike and Richie something.”

 

  
Eddie glanced at Richie’s arm again. Things were too similar. Almost identical.

 

  
Then it hit him.

 

  
It hit him **_hard_**.

 

“Yeah, um, right,” Eddie stammered. “I’m… it’s… I’ll be back.”

 

  
He turned on his heel and dashed out of there before any of them could say anything. He pushed incoming people away from him and went straight to the bathroom.

 

The boy he had started to love… loved him back.

 

_  
So why the fuck was he freaking out?_

 

  
_I can’t say anything here… at school. What DO I say to that?_ _Oh my god… oh my GOD._

 

_  
I can’t do this right now. I have to go home._

 

  
The door quickly opened and Stan ran through. “The fuck, Eddie?”

 

  
“He has it, Stan. He has one. I saw it. The bracelet. He HAS one. It looked exactly like mine. Don’t you see, Stan? He loves me. He’s been loving me. He’s had this for what, two or three weeks now? Oh my god, what the FUCK, what the fuck, oh my god--”

 

  
“Eddie! Relax. You're pacing.”

 

Eddie shut his mouth and sighed. “Sorry. I… My head’s just spinning, okay?”

 

  
“I don’t understand. Isn’t this what you wanted? He loves you back, Eddie. I’m serious. I didn’t see a bracelet on his arm, so it has to be true!”

 

“I know what it means, Stan. And you’re right; I’ve wanted this. I just… I convinced myself that it wouldn’t happen. I have NO idea what to say or anything! Not to mention that we’re at school, for god’s sake.”

 

“... I see. Do you want to go to my house for a little bit? Clear your thoughts?”

 

  
“Please. Just… for now.”

 

“You're welcome to go at anytime. I'll tell the others that you're going home.” Stan reassuringly patted his shoulder and nudged him towards the door.

 

Eddie turned around and stared at Stan straight in the face. “If Richie asks about me, just tell him I’m sick.”

 

  
“I know the drill.”

  
\--

 

Eddie slowly walked down the sidewalk to Stan’s house. He wasn’t in a big hurry anyway.

  
Eddie was overwhelmed with excitement and confusion. Why in the world would Richie ever love me back? It makes so much since now-- yet it doesn’t. I don’t honestly know what he sees in me.

  
On the other hand… Richie Tozier loved him. Richie fucking Tozier.

 

The minute Eddie got to Stan’s house, he dropped his backpack and went upstairs. He threw Richie’s sweatshirt on and kept staring at his own bracelet. It was so fucking pretty.

 

It was weird. He didn't know what he had imagined the bracelets looking like before now. Yet he wasn't disappointed at all.

 

The more he looked at it, the more he loved his life.

 

  
A few minutes went by, and Eddie heard the doorbell. He automatically assumed it was Stan, so he went downstairs to open the door. He struggled to unlock the door, and when it finally budged, he got a fucking surprise.

 

“Richie?” Eddie practically squeaked out.

 

  
There was Richie standing on the doorstep. Looking perfect as usual. His unruly curls were more tamed than usual. He was wearing black jeans with an excessive amount of rips, with a navy blue sweatshirt. He had a backpack slung on one shoulder, and was gazing at his fingernails.

 

  
“Oh... I didn’t expect you to be here, Richie,” Eddie gulped, trying to ignore the fact that his cheeks were burning. He knew. Eddie knewwwww. Eddie wasn’t sure, however, that Richie knew that he knew. Ugh, what the fuck is going on?

 

“Nice sweatshirt.” Richie grinned at him. Eddie let out an impatient sigh.

 

  
“Why aren’t you at school, Tozier?”

 

  
“I could ask you the same thing, Kaspbrak.”

 

  
Shit. “I’m not feeling very good, so I went… here instead. And why are you here? Are you stalking me?”

 

  
“Sick, huh?” Richie began in a smartass tone, ignoring Eddie’s questions. “Yes, I suppose that makes sense. Stan told me the exact same thing. Yet… it just doesn’t add up, now does it?”

 

  
“What is there that doesn’t add up, dickhead? I don’t feel good, so I went home.”

 

  
“You see, Eddie Spaghetti, you rarely get sick. I’ve known you for six years now, and you’ve gotten legitimately ill twice. Sure, we all have colds from time to time, but you don’t stay home for that. You’ve let me know that you hate missing school.”

 

_  
Damn you, Richie._

 

  
“Yet, there’s something else that’s interesting about this.” Richie continued, in the same ‘professional but asshole’ tone. “Everytime you’ve wanted to skip school, you’d always let me know. Me or Stan would forge a note. So why is this your first time not telling me, Eds? Actually, no, don’t answer that question yet… answer this one. Why exactly did you want to skip today?”

 

  
“I wasn’t feeling it today.” Eddie lied, looked down at his shoes. _Fucking shit._

 

“Okay, understandable. That just proved to me that you’re not telling me something. Just a fair warning that I will, indeed, continue to prod.”

 

  
“Did you seriously leave school to come interrogate me? Flattering.”

 

  
“As a matter of fact, yes, I did.” Richie crossed his arms and cocked an eyebrow. “Partially. I don’t know, I just sorta wanted to talk to you. We didn’t really get to talk to each other after Saturday in private.”

 

  
“Well, why don’t you come in? I’m not doing anything, and you clearly aren’t either, so…”

 

Richie walked past him and took his backpack off. “I just remembered that we’re in Stan’s house.”

 

  
“Great job, speed racer.” Eddie playfully rolled his eyes. They both went upstairs to Stan’s room.

 

  
“You’re sleeping on the floor?” Richie asked, looking at his sleeping bag.

 

  
“Ugh, not this argument again.”

 

  
“I bet you forced Stan in the bed.” Richie started to snicker. “Wait--no. I can see it now. You both argue about it and you suggest to just share the bed. He’d probably start freaking out and just take the bed for himself. He only wants one certain person in his bed. And if we’re being 100% honest with ourselves, you’ll leave Stan’s house for good… and they’ll probably jump each other the minute you leave.”

 

  
“You’re so right. I mean, for god’s sake, I walked in on them making out when I came here."

 

  
“No shame,”

 

  
There was a silence between them.  
Eddie looked at his wrist, which was covered by the sweatshirt sleeve.

 

_  
It’s now or never, Eddie._

 

_You can break the awkwardness and tell him upfront… which is horrifying, sure.  
But it’ll be better than waiting._

 

“Do you want to know why I’m really here instead of school?”

 

Richie sort of chuckles. “That’s sort of why I came here. But yes, I want to.”

 

  
Eddie takes in a deep breath.

 

_I’m actually about to fucking do this. Oh my god._

 

“Well… I sort of saw something… and I wasn’t sure how to exactly deal with it.”

 

  
“Okay…”

 

  
“It’s… so… It had to do with you.”

 

Richie didn't say anything for a minute. He looked sort of uncomfortable. “Um. Alright, continue.”

 

“I just... didn’t know what to do or say, and I just came here. I still don’t really know what to do.”

 

  
“What was it?”

 

Now it was Eddie’s turn not to say anything. “I don't..”

 

“Eddie, you can tell me. I won't be offended or anything, I just want to--”

 

“I saw your bracelet this morning.” Eddie blurted out, completely interrupting Richie.  
He didn’t exactly say it, but it didn’t take a brain surgeon to figure out what he was implying.

 

  
Richie stared at him with wide eyes, but said nothing. A silence filled the room.

 

 

They didn’t move at all.

 

  
Richie quietly stood up and walked towards Eddie. He lightly grabbed his wrist and pulled up the sleeve. There laid his bracelet. Richie ran his thumb over it before looking at Eddie again.

 

  
“You got this today, didn’t you?”

 

  
“Yeah. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t even know that.. You.. you know..”

 

  
Richie warmly smiled at him. “Okay, well, spoiler alert: I love you.”

 

  
Eddie felt himself smile too. “Yeah… I love you too. A lot, Richie.”

 

  
“So I see.” Richie cleared his throat. “I mean, if I can see your bracelet, then that clearly means, my good sir, that you do in fact love me. I love you too, and you can see my bracelet. Wowie.”

 

  
Eddie rolled his eyes and lightly punched him. “Shut up.”

 

  
“Oh, why don’t you? We all know that you love me. Literally.”

 

  
“Hey… so… why me? Why do you love me? I don’t… um, you know, really understand.”

 

  
Richie raised an eyebrow. “Um, hello? Why wouldn’t I?”

 

  
“I just… I don’t know, it’s stupid. Nobody’s ever really liked me like this, and so I don’t know why you would.”

 

  
“Well, I can talk to you. Sure, we joke around and stuff but I can talk to you about actual problems I have. We just have a lot of similarities, but we can be total opposites too. Not to mention that you’re a cutie.”

 

  
Eddie didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what to say.

 

  
“I don’t really know either. My heart just about falls out of my ass every single time I’m with you, that’s all.”

 

  
“I could say the same about you.” Eddie grinned. “I just… thank you. I really mean it. It’s sorta funny, though.”

 

  
“What is?”

 

  
“Don’t laugh, but… when you told us about your bracelet, and I couldn’t see it, I was so fucking jealous. Jealous of whoever your soulmate was.”

 

  
“It was you all along, dummy.” Richie tucked a strand of Eddie’s hair behind his ear. “Why wouldn’t it be you? Who’d you think I loved? Stan? Oh, imagine that. If Stan and I were a thing. That’d be a riot.”

 

  
“This is not how I pictured this conversation going,” Eddie giggled.

 

“Okay, well this conversation wasn't necessarily planned. You, my Eddie Spaghetti, tripped me up. And well... a bitch got surprised.”

 

“Wow. ‘A bitch got surprised’. I'm not even going to…” Eddie stopped. “What the fuck are we doing? This is probably the weirdest confession ever.”

 

“I really do love you, Eddie. I just… I think about you all the time, and I can't express it to you enough.”

 

Eddie took a strand of Richie's hair, and pushed it behind his ear. Richie stroked Eddie’s cheek with his thumb. They were both leaning in, and before Eddie knew it, he felt Richie's lips brush up against his.

 

The world around them fell apart. Eddie kissed back softly, his eyes fluttering shut. It felt like every movement that was being made had a certain amount of delicacy, making sure to just be gentle enough.

 

It was just about them. Them being together.

 

Richie pulled back after a few seconds. His cheeks actually had color in them. Eddie didn’t say anything, staring at him with his mouth hung open, and a smile parted on Richie's lips. “Wow. Remind me to never wait four years to kiss you again.”

 

 


	11. Chapter Eleven

 

“Richie… I'm sorta nervous about this.”

 

Richie glanced at him, his eyebrows furrowing in the slightest. Eddie bit his lip, looking down at the concrete beneath him, making sure to avoid Richie's stare. “Why’s that sweetheart?”

 

Eddie looked back at him with a smile parting on his lips. Richie knew how much he had already enjoyed this. Sure, he had been calling Eddie pet names for years, but now they have a completely new feeling to them.

 

And yeah, it's only been a day. Actually, less than a day. But here they are now, walking to school, acting like they've been together for years.

 

“Well,” Eddie's smile falters. “I don't know. We're about to come out to a bunch of people, and… I already know that people aren't going to support... _us_.”

 

“We don't have to do this if you don't want to.” Richie offered, trying to reassure him. “Really, we don't have to tell anybody about it.”

 

“But people are going to find out eventually, whether we like it or not.” Eddie brought up, gesturing towards the school. “It's just gonna save a lot of rumors and drama. Because they'll know that we are together, rather than just suspecting it.”

 

“I suppose.” Richie shrugged, and adjusted his backpack strap. “I mean, I'm just saying that we don't have to do this right away. If you're not comfortable. Or if you're not ready--”

 

Richie was cut off by Eddie pulling him down to his level by his shirt, and softly capturing his lips with his own. Richie relaxed into the kiss, sliding his hands up to both sides of Eddie's cheeks. His lips were incredibly smooth against Richie's, which made the moment much more pleasant.

 

Eddie pulled away as Richie groaned in annoyance. “You can’t do that to me, Eds. Not to my hopes.”

 

“Anyway,” Eddie began, starting to walk down the sidewalk again. “I think this is the best thing for us to do. If Steven Fratter has anything to say about it, I'll fucking--”

 

“Kick his teeth in? I'll help you with that anytime, you know,” Richie winked, throwing his arm around Eddie. “We’ll be a lean and green fightin’ machine, Eds.”

 

“What? No, I was going to brag about you to him.” Richie's grin faltered and looked at Eddie in surprise. Eddie scoffed at his reaction. “Did you seriously think that I wouldn't brag about you? You and your perfect self?”

 

“You're getting ahead of yourself, my dear.” Richie chuckled warmly.

 

They made it to the front of the school’s doors a minute later. They both stared at the entrance for a moment. Richie glanced at Eddie, whose hands were shaking. He was clearly still anxious about this. It had seriously impressed Richie about how he still wanted to go through with this plan.

 

“We can wait for a little bit before we go in there. Homeroom doesn't start until 8:10. It's only 8:00.” Richie whispered to him, putting his hands on his shoulders. “Again, we don't have to do this. It's ultimately up to you.”

 

Eddie didn't say anything right away. He looked around for a minute before sighing. “Let's wait for a while.” He sunk down to the concrete and leaned against the brick wall.

 

Richie nodded and dug through his backpack. He pulled out a box of cigarettes and a lighter in his side pocket. He lit one and took a drag as Eddie raised an eyebrow at him. He opened his mouth but Richie began to talk first. “Before you say a word, yes, I'm trying to quit. I'm just shaken up a bit too, okay?”

 

Eddie didn't say anything, but looked a little spazzed. He had brought his knees up to his chest and tapped on his kneecap. He constantly kept looking around. And Richie understood why he was so nervous. It was literal hell trying to convince himself to come out to his friends. So it was a pretty big fucking deal that he was coming out to the whole school.

 

Eddie abruptly stood up, causing Richie to slightly flinch. “Let's go,” He slung his book-bag onto his shoulder and silently offered to help Richie get up. Richie put out his cigarette into the ground before standing to his feet.

 

“Are you ready?” Richie asked, looking straight into Eddie's dark eyes.

 

Eddie looked hesitant but nodded. “Yeah. I think I am.” He glanced back at the building and stared at it with an expression Richie wasn't familiar with. Richie grabbed his hand and gently intertwined his fingers with Eddie’s.

 

Eddie took a deep breath, and pushed open the school’s double doors.

 

Of course, the hallway was crowded with people. Students stopped at their locker, either retrieving their things or chatting with friends. Some people were deadass sprinting while a couple of people sat on the floor.

 

The sound of the doors opening caused a slight disturbance. People looked up and looked back down in uninterest.

 

_But not this time._

 

Because most of them had snapped their heads back up in wonder. Not merely the fact that two boys were holding hands, because that fact enough was able to cause an outburst. **No, no, no.** It was something else completely that had caused students to stop and stare. It was something that most people don't usually see.

 

_They both had bracelets on._

 

_They could see that two boys had loved each other._

 

_They could see that they were soulmates._

 

_They were **soulmates**._

 

Richie felt Eddie tense up in his hand, so he gave him a reassuring squeeze. Eddie squeezed back, and they continued to walk forward. Not saying anything to each other.

 

Because what _honestly_ needed to be said?

 

Murmers and whispers began to erupt from them. Some painfully louder than others. Eddie tried his best to ignore them, but it was starting to set in. He had just outed himself and Richie.

 

He glanced at Richie, giving him a painicked look. Richie leaned into Eddie’s ear and whispered, “I’m so proud of you, baby. You did it.”

 

Eddie felt himself smile and felt all of the anxiety wash away. “We did it, Richie. We did it together.”

 

It didn't take long for them to find their friends at the corner of the hall. They all spotted them and began applauding them, receiving shouts from Beverly and Mike. They both grinned like dopes as they went up to them.

 

“I _cannot_ believe you just did that,” Bill smiled at them, shaking his head. “That takes some confidence.”

 

“Let me see your bracelets! Ben, look! They're white!” Beverly ran over to them and compared wrists, as Ben rushed over to look for himself.

 

“Awww, I can't wait to see you guys acting like an actual couple now, but like for real this time.” Ben chuckled, crossing his arms.

 

  
“Fucking soulmates at last.” Stan elbowed them, looking smug as fuck. “Took you bozos long enough.”

 

“No, no-- they've been soulmates, Stan.” Mike announced, patting him on the shoulder. “They've just been soulmates in mind. If that makes sense.”

 

“You mean mentally?” Bill raised an eyebrow.

 

“Sure, sure. My point is, they've loved each other for years now. They've truly been soulmates this whole time.” Mike smiled happily at everyone. “But now their bracelets have proved it.”

 

“What a lucky guy I am,” Richie elbowed Eddie in the hip. “Being in love with this little man for four years.”

 

Eddie shook his head. “I hate you sometimes.”

 

“Excuse me, you actually love me.”

 

“Yeah... I guess I do.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was a short-ass chapter. Who am I??
> 
> (sorry if this one isn't the greatest :p )


	12. Chapter Twelve

A lot of people forget about the trials of having a soulmate.

 

The problem with most teens and their soulmates is simple: they're so anxious to get their bracelet and find "the one". They usually wanted to have that person in their life to be with, and by the time they find the one, it's a literal slice of heaven.

 

Often known as the "honeymoon stage", things are usually just perfect. Their counterpart can't do a single thing wrong. They begin to develop even more feelings and grow a certain closeness between them. It's almost like teens act this way around their soulmate to make up for lost time-- they had been wanting that certain person for so, so, so long, and now they _finally_ had them. 

 

However, most teens know in the back of their head that something will soon happen. A conflict slowly approaches, creeping up on them as the days fly by. This "conflict" is known as a soulmate trial. 

 

A soulmate trial, in simple context, is known as a test. In order to be absolutely _sure_  that these soulmates are meant to be together, a challenge is thrown their way. The unfortunate thing about these challenges is they're not easy. 

 

Before Eddie had gotten his bracelet, he had always believed that juniors and seniors moped around because they can't handle high school. They just didn't know how to balance their activities, social life, and work. He'd commonly frown upon this, and knew that no matter how hard the future work would become, he'd push through it. _It's just work. Sure it's hard, but why act so upset about it?_

 

Oh no, it wasn't the work they had been so stressed about.Soulmate trials happened when both partners turned seventeen. It wouldn't happen right away, either. It was just a random event. You honestly couldn't prepare for it, because you wouldn't know what to even prepare for. A trial threatened a lot of things, and it would do so in whatever form possible.

 

Eddie had been seventeen for a month now, and quite honestly, a trial was the _last_ thing on his mind. They never say down and talked about it-- he never thought they needed to. Dating Richie was an experience he never thought he would _ever_ encounter. 

 

It wasn't much of a change from when they were just friends. They still spilled their guts together at Jefferey's Hill, ran around the town acting like fools, and would constantly visit each other at night. Yet... Eddie just felt so much better. He couldn't exactly explain why-- maybe it was the increase in physical contact, or maybe the fact that Richie would call him more and more pet names by the minute, but one thing was for certain.

 

They we're both _happy_.

 

Improvements had happened immediately. Richie began to sleep more and more better. Eddie got to the point where he could tolerate his mother (which were more tense now than ever. He had to come back home, but they never spoke about his coming out). Richie had been more energetic than ever, and the losers defenitely picked up on that. They were happier too, probably because they weren't pinning over each other anymore. 

 

It was the little things that Eddie had picked up on. 

 

For instance, Richie started getting up early and waiting for Eddie in his driveway so they could walk to school together. He claimed it was just to 'spare Stan the Man' but it didn't take a brain surgeon to figure it out. Or the fact that Eddie found out one day that he left his English homework at home, and was dreading to go to class. Richie had taken his own assignment, scribbled his name out at the top, and replaced it with Eddie's. He took the failing grade in a heartbeat. Or the fact that Eddie had once made an off- the-wall comment about earrings, and Richie came to the school the next day with his ears pierced. 

 

They were happy.

 

A stupid fucking trial wouldn't separate them.

 

Why did Eddie even need to worry about it? 

 

That was before Eddie picked up the phone late one Wednesday night. 

 

That was before Eddie even muttered, "Hello?"

 

That was before Richie frantically started sobbing into the phone, begging for Eddie to listen to him.

 

That was before Eddie had learned that Richie would be moving to Massachusetts in two months.

 

_That was **all** before Eddie's world shattered. _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha whoops.

**Author's Note:**

> :)
> 
> Follow me on tumblr! (if you want) - @chocolatemangoose


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